Hear Me Now
by Rabidnar
Summary: Part 1 of Change Your Mind series. Set after the S5 finale. The bomb explodes, but destiny is never meant to be changed.
1. Prologue

**I know, I still need to update my other fics. This idea would not let me alone though.  
This is unlike anything I've ever written before and I'm not sure I'm going to continue with it much. I really like it though, so I have no idea.  
Set after the S5 finale...so spoilers thru all of the seasons and possibly some S6 spoilers to be included. This is based off the theory in which Jack/Kate are Adam/Eve.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own LOST, it's characters, plots, settings, or anything like that. They belong to ABC, JJ, Carlton, Damon, and all those wonderful people...who are unfortunately not me.**

**Please review and tell me what you think. I'm eager to hear some comments about this fic.**

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I woke up to the smell of blood and the frightening realization that I was going to die. It seemed silly, but the first thought that ran through my mind was, _I'm not going to die here. I hate it here. If I'm going to spend eternity haunting the place where I kicked the bucket then I at least want to haunt someplace I like…not this hell-hole._ The events of the day came flashing back to me as soon as my first thought was over. It was almost a blur, but it was unforgettable. We had done it. The bomb had gone off and we were free from the island. Why was I digging my fingernails into dirt ground then?

I tried to open my eyes, but the light was almost blinding. I draped my arm over my face then rolled to the side gasping in pain. Everything ached and I could feel warm blood running down most parts of my body. I was beginning to get the signal that not everything had gone exactly as planned.

"Are you alright?"

It was the first thing I heard and after the voice had spoken, everything around me when back to being silent. I couldn't help but wonder who would ask me suck a stupid question in a time like this. "Jack?" Well fortunately, whoever it was couldn't read my thoughts, because if it _was_ Jack, well, that would have been insulting. My eyes fluttered open again and this time things were a little darker. All around me was blurry, but I could make out the figure of a man kneeling in front of me. He slid an arm under me and helped me into a sitting position. I turned away, feeling like I was going to vomit. Fortunately, I didn't.

"It's Jacob, actually," the man responded. He placed his hands on my shoulders.

"Jacob," I repeated softly. I could tell my voice sounded dazed and disoriented. The named sounded familiar. My eyes were beginning to close again and I felt myself falling backward, but the man pulled me back into a sitting position. "Where's Jack?" I forced myself to glance around, trying to do so without turning my aching neck. Anything that had to do with the Dharma Initiative, any scraps of metal, and most of the dead bodies were gone. The walls of the caves shielded us from the outside world. I suddenly felt panic rising in my chest and I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"He's gone, Eve," Jacob answered, shaking his head. "You tried to change destiny to get away from a destiny you didn't even know anything about. You didn't even know what you were changing it to. He -"

I cut him off, the panic suddenly making my frantic. "Who the hell is Eve?" I smacked his hands away from my shoulders and shakily shoved myself to my feet. I crashed into the cave wall before I was finally able to stabilize myself enough to stand. "What do you mean he's…" My sentence was cut off by an agonizing moan that I couldn't hold back as soon as I saw the body in the corner. Tears were immediately blending with the dirt and blood on my scraped up face. I was beside Jack's lifeless form before I even knew I had move from my spot, checking for any signs I could save him.

"You're too late, Eve. He's dead."

I spun around to face him, finally taking him in. "Don't I know you?" I whispered. My fingers clutched the ripped up fabric of Jack's shirt for a moment before I found one of his hands. Shaking, I lied down beside his body, trying to hold back sobs that were bound to escape at some point. The question was suddenly no longer important. I didn't give a damn who this man was. "I thought you couldn't change destiny."

"You can't." Jacob took a seat on the ground, crossing his legs and placing his hand on his lap. "Well, you shouldn't be able to. But you did. Fortunately, this is the place for second chances, isn't it?" He held his hand out.

I just stared at his hand, not about to let go of Jack to take it. "Tell me what I need to do," I whispered. "Please, tell me what I need to do."

"Follow me," he insisted, getting to his feet. He continued to hold out his hand. "Let me help you up. I'll take his body and we'll fix this, Eve."

As much as I wanted to just lie there and die, I let go of Jack and gripped onto Jacob's hand. He pulled me to my feet, steadying me before he lifted Jack's body with ease. "Some things don't need fixed." I wiped the tears away from my face, smearing crimson liquid across my hand.

"Do you trust me?" Jacob turned to face me, staring me in the eye. His gaze almost burned a hole right through me, but in no way was it intimidating.

"Yes." What did I have left to lose? I had no future. All my live, I had dedicated myself to simply surviving. Now, I was going to die with Jack in a cave where no one would find my body because the only person around was some man who was convinced my name was Eve. "I trust you."

"This needs fixed," he said.


	2. Pilot I

Thanks for reviewing, Guys!!! So right now...Kate is kinda just figuring things out. It'll stop following the short quite as closely as time goes on. I can't seem to keep things past tense. So my bad if I missed a place where I accidentally switched into present.

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Sometime later, I stood at the frozen donkey wheel. My legs were numb from the journey there and I felt like I could pass any at any moment. I slouched against the wall, my entire body shaking with pain and exhaustion. It was a slow death, but I knew my life was slowly leaking out of me along with the blood that now soaked what looked to be every area of my torn up clothing. I wanted to start crying again, but I knew I had to be stronger than that. "What are we doing here, Jacob?" I muttered hoarsely, bracing myself for whatever his answer was going to be.

"You're going to push that wheel and then you're going to fix things, Eve." Jacob let Jack's body rest on the cold floor beneath us. He sat down beside him in the corner and looked at me.

I laughed because it was the only response I could think of in a situation like this. "And what about the two of you?" I asked, glancing at Jacob but not being able to bring myself to look at Jack.

"It's too late for us. We're already dead. Your job is to make sure that that doesn't happen again this time." Jacob smiled and ran his hand over his hair. "This is your only chance. If you mess up, it's all over for good."

I honestly didn't understand a word he was saying to me. "So I just push that wheel and everything will work out?" I confirmed.

"Not quite," Jacob answered. "You're still going to have to make sure everything works out. Go ahead, now, push it."

I grinned in spite of myself. "This place is crazy." I pushed myself away from the wall and put my hands on the wheel. It was cold to the touch and I almost had to let go of it because I felt like my hands were going to freeze off. "I'm just going to push this and it's all going to be good." I laughed and shook my head. "This place is impossible." I shoved my full weight against the wheel, using whatever strength I felt I had. It barely budged. "You're not going to help me, are you?" I asked taking a moment to catch my breath.

"I can't really do that," Jacob commented. "I'd be breaking the rules. Push."

I threw everything I had into pushing that wheel. It started moving. I groaned and attempted to push harder until I suddenly fell forward. I expected to hit the ground, but instead I just kept falling for what seemed like forever. Then everything turned black.

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I felt a warm breeze ruffling my hair. The air brought with it the smell of salt water, smoke, and gasoline. Eyes closed, I angrily lifted my hand and smashed it down on what I expected to be a freezing, hard floor. A twig cracked under my palm and a few smalls leaves scattered from the sudden rush of air that came from my falling hand. I gasped and opened my eyes, staring up at the blue sky and waving palm leaves above me. My breath caught in my throat. These surroundings, this moment in time was all too familiar to me. I had replayed it over and over in my mind thousands of times in the past few months.

I slowly pushed myself into a sitting position, noting that my body was sore but nowhere near as intensely painful as it had been just moments before. Glancing down to examine myself, I let out a sharp cry. My clothes were no longer ripped and there was no longer any traces of blood. My wrists were red with handcuff marks that had faded ages ago. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words seemed to be able to sum up my feelings. I wasn't even sure of my feelings.

I leapt to my feet, wanting to cry out in anguish, rage, and complete and utter joy. Instead I was silent, furiously rubbing at the tears that were burning my eyes. I took a few steps to my right, feeling a tug in that general direction. I froze. I knew what was in direction. I turned and ran to the left, my mind vaguely questioning how this whole destiny thing worked. If Jack was to the right and I ran to the left…I halted and nearly fell forward as I approached a small clearing. Jack stood against a tree, trying to examine a deep cut on his side. This was impossible. It couldn't be happening. I turned to the right, getting ready to run in that direction again to see if once more I'd run into him. I was ready to take off, but his voice stopped me.

"Excuse me!"

I turned to face him, rubbing the marks on my wrist. I was hit by an intense feeling of dejavu. I couldn't count the number of times I had also replayed this very moment in my head. It may have been one of the most important instants of my pathetic life.

"Did you ever use a needle?" He asked.

There was this desperate look in his eyes. I fumbled for words. "What?" I knew what he had just said.

"Did you ever…patch a pair of jeans?" He tried again.

I had the first few sentences we ever spoke memorized. I had to fight back a smile so as not to confuse him. "I, um, I made the drapes in my apartment."

"That's fantastic," Jack replied. "Listen, do you have a second? I could use a little help now."

I wondered what it was really like to tamper with destiny, despite that I apparently already helped doing it. I got to the point where I forgot what I had said to him before and I felt like an idiot playing dumb. I knew what he needed help with. "Sure," I said softly, walking over to him.

He looked at me pleadingly and my heart went out for him. A few months ago, we didn't even know each others' names yet. We were just two simple people, in shock and waiting for someone to come and save us from wherever we had crashed. He had no idea what he was about to face. I knew what everyone on that plane was about to face.

He handed me a bottle of liquor. I didn't have a confused look on my face like the last time. I opened it and dumped half on my hands then handed it back to him before he even had to ask me to save some. "Standard black?" A small smile crept onto my face as I picked up the sewing kit.

He chuckled and nodded his head. "Standard black." He took a seat and closed his eyes, wincing and taking in a deep breath as he dumped the rest of the liquor on his wound.

The familiar feeling of nausea returned as I knelt beside him with the sewing needle. I knew he was trying not to move as I begin to stitch him up. "I might throw up on you," I warned him. I knew I wouldn't.

Jack shook his head. "You're doing fine."

His words sounded so familiar in my head. I wondered how we were able to just repeat all we had already said. "At least you're not afraid," I switched up my words but made sure to give the same general idea. Some things were so minor but I knew a story was coming that was going to be of major importance later on.

Jack smiled softly. "Well, fear's sort of an odd thing. When I was in residency my first solo procedure was a spinal surgery on a 16 year old kid, a girl. And at the end, after 13 hours, I was closing her up and I, I accidentally ripped her dural sac, shredded the base of the spine where all the nerves come together, membrane as thin as tissue. And so it ripped open and the nerves just spilled out of her like angel hair pasta, spinal fluid flowing out of her and I: and the terror was just so crazy. So real. And I knew I had to deal with it." Tears ran down his face and I still had no idea if it was from pain or the memory. But he continued with his story. " So I just made a choice. I'd let the fear in, let it take over, let it do its thing, but only for 5 seconds, that's all I was going to give it. So I started to count, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Then it was gone. I went back to work, sewed her up and she was fine."

I glanced at him, unable to say anything. Tears stung my eyes and I worked on sewing up his wound in silence. "All done," I whispered finally, tying the end of the thread in a knot then clipping it with the miniature pair of scissors that had been in the kit. I got to my feet and forced a smile at him then offered my hand down to help him up.

He smiled at me and took my hand though he pretty much got to his feet all by himself. "Thank you," he said.

I nodded my head. "We should probably go find the others," I commented. I knew people were screaming bloody murder and running for their lives back on the beach. "There's still people we can help, right?"

"I think it's all taken care of," Jack answered.

I glanced at him and took in the solemn look on his face. "Right." Those who were dead were dead and those who were alive were at least alive for now. And the marshal was lying somewhere with a piece of shrapnel in his side. I shuddered at the thought. "So, you're a doctor," I commented. "A surgeon." Hardcore spinal surgeon Jack made me smile. "We can at least check out the people who are injured."

He looked at me and nodded his head. "There's quite a few of those. Come on." He headed towards the beach with me trailing behind him like a lost puppy.

I couldn't have myself doing that anymore. Following him like that had gotten me nowhere good in the past. I quickened my speed so I was walking beside him.

"What happened to your wrists?" He questioned, glancing at them. "Did that come from the crash?"

I gave him a confused look then also glanced down at my wrists. Oh. "Yeah," I replied. There was a burning in my chest as I answered. I had already begun with the lies that had ruined our relationship quite a few times. I knew he was bound to find out I was a criminal shortly, but I wanted to savor the moments that he didn't know. Right now, I was just an innocent women who had been on the same plane as he had. Right now, he would have never believed that I had done the things I had done. I crossed my arms across my chest to hide the marks then just shoved my hands in the pockets of my pants, staring down at my feet as I walked.

He seemed to be able to sense my awkwardness. "Sorry." It sounded more to me like a question than a statement.

"It's fine." I didn't want to continue with this conversation. Not right now. We approached the beach and the sight was heart wrenching to me. I couldn't look at what was left of our plane or the bodies that had died in the crash. I could barely look at those who had survive and I knew were going to die eventually on the island. Jack led me over to where they had taken those that were injured. He spent hours working on those who needed his help. Sometime after the sun went down, he began examining the man I knew as Edward Mars. I could honestly say it was less than pleasant to see the man alive again. I didn't question about his injuries because I already knew he was going to die. "I was sitting next to him on the plane," I commented, holding a hand over my mouth.

Jack glanced up at me. "He's a US Marshall," he said.

I felt like it was accusing, but I knew it was an innocent comment. He had no idea why I had been sitting next to that man on the plane. "I know," I replied. I could have told him right then I was the prisoner he was escorting back to the US. "We talked a bit."

Jack smiled and nodded. "I talked to the person beside me too." He turned and nodded to Rose. The older, dark-skinned lady was sitting down the beach, clutching a necklace and crying. He stared at her for a moment then looked down.

"You're worried about her," I commented. "Things will work out for her."

"I hope so."

"Be an optimist," I told him. "It's the only thing to do in a situation like this." I wanted to make him believe in himself and have hope. If it was up to me, some stuff was going to change on this island. "It's what'll keep us going."

He seemed to ignore my comment as he got to his feet and brushed his hands off on his pants. "It's dark out. People have started making fires. You look like you could sit down for awhile."

I nodded my head and gave Edward one last glance. My face paled and I didn't know what was wrong with me. No part of me wanted to save the life of that man. Then I realized, that was what was wrong with me. I had undergone so many changes and I should have wanted to save him. I knew he was going to die though and I didn't care.

"You coming?" Jack had started walking toward a fire that someone had abandoned.

"Yeah." I tore my eyes away from the sight in front of me and caught up with him, walking over to the fire. I sat down beside him, realizing how much I missed these days. It was just an innocent friendship between Jack and I and I didn't even know who Sawyer was. I picked up a leaf and began examining it then bent it a bit to make it look like a plane.

Jack chuckled and held out his land, looking the leaf over when I handed it to him. "Amazing artwork," he teased. "Looks just like our plane. One hundred percent."

I rolled my eyes. I also missed his humor. "You want me to re-enact the crash with it?" I went to grab it from him, but he held it out of my reach. I grinned, remembering last time he had made the plane and explained it. "Give me that." I grabbed it from him and swatted his hand away when he tried to grab it back. "We had to have been at least 40,000 feet when it happened," I started.

"We hit an air pocket," he added.

"Hey," I stopped him. "This is my explanation." Okay, so really it was his explanation, but he didn't need to know that. "We hit an air pocket," I continued, unable to help but smirk. "Dropped maybe 200 feet." I moved the plane with my hand for emphasis. "The turbulence was…"

"I blacked out," Jack cut me off.

Changing destiny was harder than I thought it would be. I wanted to clear my throat and shoot him a look that clearly let him know I was the one supposed to be talking. He didn't know me yet though and I didn't want to come across as rude. "I didn't," I answered. "I saw the whole thing. I knew the tail was gone, but I couldn't bring myself to look back. And then the front end of the plane broke off."

"Well, it's not here on the beach," Jack commented. "And neither is the tail. We need to find out which way we came in."

"If you're thinking about finding the cockpit…" I knew it was a waste of a trip.

"If there's a chance we could find the cockpit and it's intact, we might be able to find the transceiver. We might be able to send out a signal, help the rescue party find us." Jack glanced toward the jungle.

Back then what had seemed like a wonderful idea now seemed like the stupidest thing I had ever heard in my entire life. "There's probably too much wreckage," I said. This was one trip I really didn't want any of us to have to repeat. "I mean, look at things here. If this was the cockpit, we'd probably never find the transceiver." So much for telling him to be optimistic.

"It's worth a shot though," Jack replied. "I'm going to head through the valley tomorrow; see if I can find anything."

"I'll go with you," I stated. Maybe a meeting with good ole Smokey could answer some of the questions that I had about what I was supposed to be doing with my second chance.

"I don't even know your name," Jack commented, breaking me from my thoughts.

I grinned, despite feeling rather hurt. "I'm Kate," I introduced myself.

"Jack," he responded, smiling back at me.

My smile slowly faded. I wanted to tell him that I already knew his name. I wanted to let him in on everything I knew. I wanted to tell him all about me, all about himself, all about everyone around us, every singe event, every little detail about what was about to happen to us…I wanted to tell him. Was I allowed to do that though? I hesitantly opened my mouth but the sound of screeching metal interrupted me. It might have been a sign to keep quiet. Everyone turned frantically toward the jungle. I turned too, just a bit more calmly.

"What was that?" Shannon asked.

For the first time, I was able to look at her. I could almost see her dead and I had to turn away. That was one thing I'd have to get over. I'd have to detach myself from certain people. I looked at Jack again. We got to our feet and walked toward the jungle.

"That was weird, right?" Charlie asked.

"Was that Vincent?!" Walt leapt to his feet then slowly began to head toward the jungle.

Michael got up to quickly follow him. "It's not Vincent."

I tore my eyes away from Jack. I looked over at the father and son, feeling bad for them. I knew they'd never really get the chance to connect like they should. I started thinking about how I might be able to change that when trees started moving and getting smashed down.

"Did anybody see that?" Claire took a step forward, staring wide-eyed into the jungle.

I looked over at her. I almost expected to see Aaron in her arms. First I almost expected to see him as a baby. Then I almost expected to see him as a toddler, running over to me to hold my hand. I almost expected to see my son, but then I realized he was still in his biological mother's stomach. Just as Hurley walked up to us to agree that he'd seen it too, I turned and walked away. It wasn't until my back was to them that tears began streaming down my face. I had to get away. Suddenly, I was running away from everything again.

When I was far enough away from everyone, I lowered myself to the sand and buried my face in my hands. Sobbing silently, I just couldn't believe it. I hadn't even thought about Claire being pregnant with Aaron. With her son who was very much my own son. I didn't know how I was going to deal with that. Was it worth avoiding Claire? No, because now I felt an even stronger need to protect her and the baby she was carrying. I felt like an idiot, but I leant forward and cried for my loss. I was still grieving.

I didn't know how long I sat there. It might have been two minutes or it might have been two hours. When my sobs finally subsided and I looked up again, people were beginning to settle down at the fires they had built. I got to my feet and wiped my eyes with my hands then knelt down and washed my face off with sea water in hopes of making it look less like I had been bawling my eyes out over a child who didn't even exist yet. I dried my face with my shirt then wandered back toward the campfire Jack and I had been at.

The sight of the doctor fast asleep struck me as ironic. I wondered if this was the only time he would actually sleep, unless I had to drug him again. A blanket was folded beside him and I smile and picked it up then spread it across the sand and lied down. I watched as his chest rose and fell steadily, being reminded of those nights at home when we fell asleep in each other's arms. "I still love you, Jack," I whispered, barely even able to hear myself as I said it. I rolled so my back was to him and shut my eyes.

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I woke up around the same time Jack did, knowing he would easily leave without me if I was still asleep. I watched as he groggily got up then headed over to some abandoned suitcases. I figured he was probably trying to find stuff we might need on the trip. I glanced down at my feet, already knowing I wasn't going to go hiking like this. I felt disgusting, knowing I was going to steal shoes from the dead. I made sure Jack wasn't watching me then walked over to the body I had taken the shoes from the last time. I didn't know why, but I double checked the size on them. I was forced to smile, knowing that the person's feet obviously had not changed.

I could feel Locke's eyes on me and I turned to look back at him. We stared at each other for a moment before he smiled at me, that orange in his mouth just as it had been last time. It wasn't a grin, but simply a gesture of comfort and understanding. Before, I had given him a slightly disgusted look and he glanced away. This time, I smile back at him. Not a crazy, Oh My Goodness I'm Stealing Shoes From Dead People!, smile; simply a polite gesture back. Instead of looking away this time, he gave a slight wave. I waved back and got to my feet, giving him one last glance before bending down to change into my new shoes then walking over toward Jack.

Sometime between waking up and getting new shoes, Charlie had joined our expedition. I still hadn't figured how he got there and Jack still seemed less than happy about it. As we started on our trip, I knew there was definitely a few things I needed to change. I walked beside the rock star, a grin on my face. "Can I ask you something?" I questioned.

Charlie looked at me, seeming to get a bit excited. "Me? I'd be thrilled. I've been waiting."

"What's it like being in Drive Shaft?" As much as I loved Drive Shaft, I honestly didn't care what it was like to actually be in the band. I used to listen to their music all the time. Before when I told him my friend Beth loved his band, that was code for I used to have an obsession with his music.

"It's great!" Charlie responded. "I mean, we're all takin' a bit of a break right now, but it's amazing. All the concerts and fans. There's nothing better than being up on that stage while a thousand screaming people are cheering you on." He pointed proudly as his ring. "Second tour of Finland."

"Hey," Jack looked back at them from several feet ahead. He was frowning.

I looked at him. "Sorry. Charlie's famous and we were just discussing his band. We've got to keep moving." I looked at Charlie, feeling a bit bad. "We'll finish talking later. Maybe we'll make Jack into a fan." I laughed, seriously doubting that would ever happen, even if I was here to change things.

"Sounds good!" Charlie replied, following me as I picked up speed to catch up to Jack.

I turned to Jack and was about to speak when all of a sudden the three of us were being pelted with raindrops. The sky grew black before we even knew what was happened. I looked at Charlie, noticing he looked a bit nervous. "This is normal," I assured him. "Day turning into night. End of the world type weather. Sucks being trapped on a tropical island without any umbrellas." We both laughed.

Jack came to a halt in front of me. Not watching where I was going, I crashed into the back of him. We were both not expecting it and he fell forward, me landing on top of him. I blushed and quickly got to my feet. "Sorry." Charlie looked amused. Jack just looked frustrated. By the time I could think of offering my hand down to help him up, he was already getting to his feet. The front of him was covered in mud and I gave him a guilty look.

"Let's do this," he said, turning away from me.

We made our way into the cockpit. It was still tilted upward and I was forced to climb it for a second time in my life. I was careful of what I grabbed onto, not wanting to touch any of the bodies. Jack helped me up and I helped Charlie.

"Let's get this trans…" Charlie's voice trailed off.

"Transceiver," Jack supplied.

"Transceiver thing and get out then," Charlie finished.

I was there for a reason totally different than the transceiver. I already knew how that mission was going to end, and I couldn't say it was going to be particularly enjoyable. As I replayed the pilot being murdered by the monster in my head, Jack was beating on a door. It flew open and a body fell out. I shrieked. I should have been expecting it that time, but it still gave me a shock.

Jack looked at me. "You okay?"

"Yeah." I nodded my head then quickly looked at Charlie. "You okay?"

It seemed to me like simply being noticed meant the world to him. "I'm fine. Thanks."

I turned and began to follow Jack.

"Hey, you don't have to come up here," he said, glancing back at me.

I smiled. He was already worrying too much about me. "No, I'm good," I assured him. I grabbed his hand and he helped me up. "So what does a transceiver look like?" I asked, deciding to humor him.

"Complicated walkie-talkie," he answered.

I just nod my head. I already knew that much. I glanced at the pilot. "Jack, I think this guy's still alive." I knew he wouldn't be for long. As soon as the words are out of my mouth, the pilot sucks in a deep breath. Jack is immediately by his side and before he can even ask me for a bottle of water, I'm already handing it to him. They begin talking, but I only manage to catch some of it. I know what's being said and it's too much to hear for a second time. I lean against the wall of the plane, running a hand through my hair and just waiting.

"Where's Charlie?" Jack asked finally, looking over at me.

I didn't bother to go look for him. "He stopped by the bathroom," I answered. I glanced out the door just in time to see him coming out and heading toward us. I never figured out what he was really doing in there, but I had a hint now and I felt sorry for him. I was about to talk to him when the plane started shaking. It was what I had been waiting for.

"What the hell was that?" the pilot asked when the monster stopped making noise.

"Kate." Jack motioned me toward him and I did my best to look scared. The plane shook again and I fell into his lap. His arms wrapped securely around my stomach, holding me close against him. This had been slightly new.

"What's out there?" The pilot asked.

I looked at Jack as he motioned for him to stop talking.

A shadow passed over the plane window. Jack was about to get up, but I stayed on his lap and forced him to continue sitting. My hands covered my face. I didn't want to see this again. I kept my eyes tightly shut, but I could still see everything happening in my mind. I was still watching the pilot be killed.

"What the hell just happened?!" Charlie cried at last.

The plane began to shake again and I quickly uncovered my face and grabbed the transceiver. It wasn't getting away this time. I shoved it into Jack's hands just as the plane crashed to the ground.

"We gotta go!" I cried. I jumped to my feet and sprinted out of the plane. Jack and Charlie were somewhere behind me, but I didn't worry about them, knowing they would both end up okay. I cursed as I slipped in the mud again, then I pulled myself up and wondered why the hell I was even running. I threw my hands in the hair in frustration with myself and stomped into the vine shelter I had stood in the first time I was in this position.

"Hey!" I whispered loudly. I seriously doubted the monster would hear me, but Jack and Charlie would think I was crazy if they knew I was calling it over. "Hey! You!" I felt like a fool because I had no idea how else to summon it.

Then it was in front of me. I wasn't quite afraid, more like shocked by it. I narrowed my eyes. "How about you tell me what was going on." Who was I kidding? It didn't speak. I stared into the smoke, holding my breath as images began to appear. "Oh God." I was looking into the caves. I took a step forward, tears stinging my eyes. My lips began to quiver. I was staring at myself, lying on top of Jack's body. It was just like things had originally ended, only Jacob wasn't there helping me. I was bleeding to death and Jack was already dead. I couldn't see him dead again. I couldn't see me mourning over him even as my own life left me. "J-J-Jack!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, thought I knew he was dead and couldn't hear me. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the monster zipping past me. "1. 2. 3. 4. 5." I opened my eyes and let out a breath.

Turning around, I should have known Charlie was going to be there. I forgot and was once again startled, knocking him over onto his back and landing on top of him. I could skip the whole conversation about where Jack was this time. I got to my feet and reached my hand down to help him up. He took it and pulled himself to his feet.

"I heard you shout," Charlie commented. "I heard you shout Jack. I'm Charlie, by the way."

I looked at him, feeling a tad guilty. I could tell now he had some sort of crush on me, but I didn't know what to say. Soon enough, he would find someone else he liked instead. Fortunately, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the pilot's wings. I knew that right above them would be his body. Jack was suddenly beside me and he and Charlie were discussing what was going on around us. I shove the wings into my pocket.

"Guys, how does something like that happen?" Charlie asked.

I could tell even without looking at him he was staring up at the pilot. "I don't know," I lied. "But we should keep going before it happens to us too, huh?" I began walking back toward where we had begun to make camp on the beach.

"A little moody, isn't she?" Charlie whispered, apparently thinking I was out of ear-shot.

I was dazed as we made our way back through the jungle. My thoughts flashed back to Aaron again and it took all of my energy not to cry. Fortunately, Charlie and Jack began to distract me.

"Anything?" Charlie asked for the millionth time.

Jack sighed deeply. "You keep asking if there's anything."

"Pardon me for sounding desperate," Charlie muttered, "But before the pilot was ripped from the cockpit, he did say that no one was going to find us unless we get that transceiver thing working. So, is there anything?"

"No," Jack answered simply.

"Okay." Charlie looked at his feet.

I moved to walk beside Charlie, patting him on the arm. "I'm really glad you came with us," I commented.

"Every trek needs a coward," he answered.

"Trust me, Charlie, you're anything but a coward." I smiled. It might take awhile for him to learn that, but with me around, it might not take so long after all.


	3. Pilot II

**-**Chapter 1:  
**Erin** - Skin crawling weird has to be the best compliment ever. ^-^  
**Temporarilymisplaced** - I can't wait to see the producers' ideas for S6...as long as they're Jate-y!  
**P** - Glad you like it! Strange is what I aim for.  
**Sara** - Glad you think it's amazing. =]

Chapter 2:  
**Philadelphia** - I'll continue as long as I have a good amount of reviews.  
**Boo2ubam** - I wouldn't say she can change anything. Some things are just meant to happen. She'll have to make some decisions between what's necessary and what isn't. And some Skate seems kind of inevitable. As much as I hate it, there is something between them, even if it is simply lust. I don't think she'd be able to give up what she had with Sawyer so easily in the position that she's in now. And I dunno about the Aaron thing...a Jaby might be able to fill in that empty space. -hint- -hint-  
**Phoebe and Cole 4ever** - Glad you think it's a cool idea!  
**Northern Wolf** - It's going to take awhile for some major changes...but if things go as planned, some stuff is going to be quite different.  
**Wanda1988 **- Glad you're liking it!

* * *

"Do you think it'll work?" I asked, taking the transceiver from Jack and looking it over. I knew it wouldn't work. It would be months before we had a chance for rescue and that would lead to more harm than good.

"There might be someone back at the beach who can fix it. Would you slow down?" Jack was speed walking to keep up with me and Charlie was beginning to fall behind.

"Sorry. I just really want to get back." I walked through the trees and onto the sand, glancing around the beach for a moment before I found what I was looking for. Sawyer was marching over toward Sayid, looking less than happy. I sprinted over to Sayid. "We found the transceiver!"

I glanced back at Sawyer. He stared at me for a moment then huffed and walked back in the opposite direction. I sighed silently in relief and turned back to Sayid with a grin. "You've been back here at the beach. Did you meet anyone you think could help?"

Sayid took the device from my hands and studied it. "Yes," he replied. "I might be able to. It's a dual-band military spec. Chances are the battery is good, but the radio is dead."

"Can you fix it?" I inquired. All of this seemed incredibly pointless and time wasting, but I had to play along. People might have become suspicious of me if I acted like I knew something important, despite that I did know something important.

"I need some time," Sayid answered.

The lady Jack said he had talked to on the plane approached him and it caught my attention. "Doctor," Rose addressed him. "The man with the shrapnel…I think you should take a look at him.'

I swallowed and nodded at Sayid then focused my attention on Jack and Rose. I thought about following Jack, but I knew it was pointless. I turned and headed toward the ocean, needing to wash the sweat and dirt from the hike off of myself. I walked until I was out of sight from the others then stripped to my bra and underwear and ventured out into the water. It was freezing.

As I washed myself off, I noticed Sun coming toward me. I smiled to myself, knowing she was going to cut my bath short by trying to motion that I was needed elsewhere. My smile faded as she glanced at my then turned and walked away again. I hesitated then rinsed myself off with another handful of water.

"Ya saw me walkin' over to him, didn't you?"

I quickly looked up in the direction opposite of where Sun was, a bit shocked to see Sawyer standing there. "I did," I admitted. "You looked angry."

He glared at me. "How 'bout next time you mind your own business and stay outta my way, Freckles."

I rolled my eyes. "Look," I said, walking out of the water. I grabbed my shirt and slid it over my head, noticing his eyes wandering across my body. "We're all stuck here and you don't know for how long. The last thing we need is everyone being mad at each other." I grabbed my pants and put those on too. "Whatever you were mad about was probably something that wasn't even important. So how about you tune down the drama and grow up?"

Smirking, he walked toward me and grabbed my wrist. "Well, now…"

"Don't even. I have things to do." I easily broke free of his grip and strode back across the beach. I expected him to follow me, but he must have had things to do too. Probably continue collecting things that didn't belong to him. I felt guilty, because I still loved him. It wasn't the same love I felt for Jack, but I couldn't deny that I also loved Sawyer. Grabbing my hair, I twisted it to ring it out. Water soaked through the shoulders of my shirt and also ran down my back. I ran my fingers through my curls and worked through a few tangles as I continued to walk.

"It seems to be working," Sayid called out to me as I passed him. He went silent again until I turned and looked at him. "We're not picking up a signal though."

"We're not getting any reception," I confirmed as I took a few steps toward him.

"Exactly," Sayid replied. He ran a hand through his hair, brushing it out of his face. "We could broadcast blind. Hope that a ship somewhere picks up our distress call."

"That would waste our battery," I commented.

"You're very right," he agreed. "We could try getting a signal from high ground."

The two of us turned and looked up at the mountain together. I had to remind myself that no one here knew what I did and because of that, they needed to repeat things in order to learn what I already knew. "I'll tell Jack we're heading up into the mountain then. We should keep our group small. We don't need a bunch of people coming with us." I hoped by that, we could prevent Sawyer from following and I wouldn't have to face any feelings I had for him.

Sayid began to look at the transceiver once more as I turned away from him and made my way over toward where Jack had made shelter for the wounded. He was looking at Edward when I got there. "How is he?" I asked, refusing to look at the marshal.

"If I leave him like this, he'll be dead within a day," Jack commented. It made me feel bad, because I knew he'd be dead no matter what Jack did for him. "If I can take out the shrapnel and can control the bleeding and he doesn't go into sepsis and I can find some antibiotics, he might be okay."

"Sounds like a long shot." He looked stressed, so I placed my hands on his shoulders. He tensed and I ignored his shocked look, waiting for him to relax until I gently began to rub his shoulders.

"Kate, what are you…" He started to ask.

"I'm going on a hike," I cut him off. "Sayid fixed the transceiver, but we need to be on higher ground in order to use it."

"Kate…"

"We need to send out a signal." I took my hands off his shoulders.

"The pilot…"

"I saw what happened to the pilot. But what makes you think we're any safer on the beach than in the jungle? We don't even have anywhere to hide on the beach, Jack." I crossed my arms.

He sighed and rubbed his head. "Wait for me."

"The battery isn't going to last, Jack." I hesitated. "You're obviously not going to be cutting into the guy right now. Send someone to go through bags and looks for those antibiotics. Maybe by the time you get back, someone will have found something useful for you to use."

He slowly got to his feet. "Alright. But if we see or hear anything, we're out of there."

I nodded in agreement then looked around. "Hey!" I called over to Hurley. "Can you give us a bit of help?!"

Hurley looked around for a moment before he wandered over to Jack and I. "With uh…what, Dudes?" he asked, his gaze landing on the chunk of metal sticking out of Edward.

"We need you to go through luggage," I replied quickly to assure him he wouldn't have to stick around the dying man beside us. I nodded toward Jack so he would continue.

Jack took the hint. "I need any kind of prescription medications you can find. Especially things ending in -myacin and -cillin. Those are antibiotics."

Hurley looked relieved and glanced away from Edward. "Sure uh…I can do that. But uh…the southern guy has kinda been taking all the luggage."

I felt like groaning in annoyance. "We'll convince him to come with us." So much for trying to avoid him. "Go through whatever he took."

"What if he comes back?" Hurley asked. "He seems kind of…"

"He won't," I replied. "And if for some reason he does, I'll get to you and warn you."

"Can you do this?" Jack asked.

Hurley nodded his head. He looked at Edward one more time then turned and walked off.

I started to head over to Sayid who I could see was getting ready to leave. After a few steps, I turned to look back at Jack. He was staring down at Edward. "Come on." I nodded toward to Sayid. "We shouldn't be gone that long. He'll be fine, Jack."

"Right." Jack glanced at me then looked down at the sand. He walked to catch up with me and I put my hand on his arm for a moment as we walked over to Sayid.

"You ready?" I asked.

"Id like to come with you," Shannon said, approaching us.

"She's not," Boone interrupted before any one else could say anything. "This is what she does."

"The hell I'm not!" Shannon argued with him. "You don't know what the hell I do."

Boone looked at Jack. "She makes really bad decisions that upset her family, which at the moment, is me."

Shannon glared at Boone. "Shut up and stop trying to be charming." She looked at Sayid and I. "I'm coming with you."

I crossed my arms tightly across my chest. "I don't know if that's such a good idea." I had forgotten how persistent she had been about coming along on the hike.

"What are you two years older than me, please." Shannon glanced at Charlie as he walked over. "You're going, aren't you?"

"Yeah." Charlie grinned at her. "Are you?"

"Yep," Shannon answered him proudly.

"Yeah, I'm definitely going." Charlie turned to face me.

"Look," I stated. I could feel Jack and Sayid staring at me and I wondered what they were thinking about me. "We don't need that many people to come with us. Yes, getting a signal on the transceiver is important, but there's a lot of stuff that needs done around here too." I look at Shannon. "If you could, find the guy looking for antibiotics. I think his name is Hurley." I figured people would be weirded out if I knew all of their names and they didn't know how I knew. "It's very important that you find those." I turned next to Charlie and Boone. "You could start gathering all the luggage and putting it in a pile. Things are scattered all over."

Everyone seemed to be staring dumbfounded at my sudden leadership. I tried to ignore what might have been the slightest look of jealousy on Jack's face. "I'm going to go convince the other guy we're taking with us." I began to walk away.

"You couldn't tell from that, but she's actually really nice," Charlie stated. He must have thought I couldn't hear him again. The comment made me smile.

Sawyer was leaning against part of the plane. He had an unlit cigarette in his mouth and a folded letter in his hand. He looked a bit too distracted for my liking.

"Hey." I smiled and walked up to him. "A few of us are going on a hike."

He looked at me and smirked. "You giving me an invite?" he asked. "Guess you don't think I'm so bad after all, huh, Sweetheart?"

"I think you're a pretty complex guy." I smirked back. I realized I was flirting, but I wasn't so sure I didn't want to be at the moment. "So you interested in coming with us?"

"I would say no, but since you asked so nicely…"

I swatted his arm and laughed. "Let's go already." I walked back over to Jack and Sayid, glancing back every few seconds to make sure Sawyer was following me. I was satisfied he wasn't going to change his mind and turn back as soon as we began climbing the mountain.

"Okay, wide open space," Sawyer stated before we had even gotten to where we were going. "You should check the radio to see if we're good."

I stopped walking and began to glance around the jungle. Jack stood beside me, giving me what might have been a curious glance.

"We're not going to have any reception here," Sayid replied. He looked at Jack and I then also stopped walking.

"Just try it," Sawyer spat. He walked a few feet more then he too stopped.

"I don't want to waste the batteries." Sayid glanced at the radio then glared at Sawyer.

I watched them in annoyance.

"I'm not asking you to keep it on all day."

"We're still blocked by the mountains."

"Just check the damn…"

"Would the two of you knock it off?" I asked, shooting Sawyer a glare. "We're not checking it here." I looked at Sayid. "Is there really any point in arguing with him? You know he's just going to be smart."

Before either of them could respond, we were all distracted by a loud growling. The bushes began to shake. Sawyer walked over to join the three of us again and Jack grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"Something's coming," Sayid stated. He took a few steps back. "I think it's coming toward us."

"Let's go." Jack turned and began to move in the opposite direction, quickly being followed by Sayid. I turned and took a few steps to go with them, but Sawyer wasn't moving. I halted then joined him, staring toward the oncoming polar bear.

"Kate!" Jack called. He and Sayid hurried back to grab me, but I shrugged them away.

"Hold on." I replied, grabbing Jack's arm to keep him from practically carrying me away.

Sawyer pulled a gun from the back of his pants and began shooting. The giant bear fell from the bushes, it's pure white coat slowly becoming stained with blood. It was still breathing, but it obviously wasn't going to get up to eat us any time soon.

"That's a polar bear." I didn't know which of the guys stated the obvious. I was momentarily distracted by Sawyer's gun, because I knew where it had come from.

"Polar bears don't live near this far south," Sayid muttered, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Well this one does," I answered, beginning to get tired of the repeated conversations.

"Did," Sawyer corrected me. "It did."

"Where did that come from?" Jack asked.

"Probably bear village," Sawyer replied sarcastically. "How the hell would I know?!"

"Not the bear," Jack replied, narrowing his eyes. "The gun."

I tuned them out as they began to discuss the origin of the gun. What was even worse than repeated conversations was repeated conversations that had to do with me being a criminal.

"Because he had a clip on badge." Sawyer held up Edward's badge. "I took that too. Thought it was cool."

I was forced to tune in once again.

"I know who you are." Sayid faced him. "You're the prisoner."

"I'm the what?" Sawyer gave an incredulous laugh.

"You found a gun on the…" Sayid began.

"Guys, stop!" I cut them off, turning to look at both of them. "Just stop." I grabbed the badge from Sawyer and tossed it on the ground. When he went to grab the badge, I took the gun from him too. I put it on safety and shoved it in my pocket. "Just knock it off. We still have to make the transceiver work and none of us want to be out here when it starts to get dark."

Jack and Sayid glanced at each other then slowly began to walk again. I began to follow them, but Sawyer grabbed my wrist. "I know your type. I've been with girls like you."

I glanced up at him. I had nothing to say to that. I smiled sadly then pulled away and crossed my arms, hurrying after Jack.

We hadn't even gone a mile before Sayid pulled out the transceiver. Sawyer began arguing with him, but I did my best to just ignore it. Jack began talking with them, but I kept my mouth shut, just thinking. I didn't start listening again until Danielle's broadcast sent everyone into silence.

"What the hell is that?" Sawyer asked, apparently trying to make out what the woman was saying.

"It's French," I explained. "I…I know some French." That was a lie, but I knew the general idea of what the transmission was saying. They argued about the battery as I put together in my mind how I was going to translate the words.

"She's saying she needs help," I said.

"Or she's not," Sawyer spat. "You don't speak French, do you?"

"Shut up," I replied. "Help me. I'm alone on the island. It killed all the others. They're all dead." It was at least the general idea.

"It's been playing over sixteen years," Sayid muttered, counting slightly on his fingers as he apparently did the math in his head. "Sixteen years and five months."

Sawyer and Sayid began arguing again. I didn't have a chance to stop them. I brought my hand to my head, swaying slightly with sudden dizziness.

"Whoa." Jack grabbed my arm and put his free hand on my back to prevent me from fall over. "Are you alright?"

The dizziness faded as suddenly as it had come. I put my hand on his arm. "I'm good," I assured him, nodding.

"Where are we?" Sayid muttered, looking at the three of us before glancing up toward the sky.


	4. Tabula Rasa

**Temporarilymisplaced -** Thanks for reviewing!  
**Boo2ubam - **I'd have to consult with my manager before answering any of those questions. -hint- -hint- ^.^  
**P -** Updated! =D  
**Famous4it -** Glad you think it's cool. =]

I'm addicted to reviews, btw. Reviews make me update quickly. x]

* * *

"It's beginning to get dark," Sayid stated before we were almost half way back to the beach. "We might need to stop and make camp."

"Well then pick up the pace, Terrorist," Sawyer spat, beginning to walk slightly faster.

If I had to listen to any more arguing between the two of them, I was sure I was going to lose my mind. It's the only conversation I heard on the way there and now it was taking up the entire way back too. "Sayid is right," I commented. "We don't want to be walking around in the middle of the night."

"Ooh, afraid the trees are gonna get ya, Freckles?" Sawyer grabbed me as if to spook me.

I laughed and swatted him away. "I'm not afraid of anything," I answered, giving him a playful shove. "But if I were you, I'd be afraid of what's knocking down the trees coming to get me."

A grin tugged at the southerner's lips. "I highly doubt that. I ain't afraid of anything either."

I noticed Jack staring at the two of us and felt a twinge of guilt in my chest. I looked up at Sawyer again. "Sayid is still right though. We really should make camp for the night."

"Thank you." Sayid stopped us where we were. It wasn't quite a clearing, but there was still enough space for us to build a fire and get some sleep before we had to continue back to the beach in the morning. "Would you help me get some wood for a fire?" he asked, turning to Jack. The two of them began to walk away.

"Hey," I called to stop them. "We passed some trees with fruit growing on them a few minutes ago. I'm going to head back and see if I can get us any to eat."

"I might as well escort you," Sawyer said.

I looked at him then at Jack. Jack quickly turned away and slowly began to head after Sayid. "I don't need an escort," I stated, hoping Jack could hear me. "Stay here. I'll be fine." I walked back the way we had come from, staring up at the treetops as I went. It didn't take long before I found a good tree with a bunch of ripe fruit on it. When I was off the island, I had missed climbing trees. I once had tried to teach Aaron, but he had been more interested in playing with the ants nest under the tree. I pulled myself up until I could easily rest on a sturdy branch and began picking a few pieces of the fruit. I came across a rotten one and tossed it on the ground.

"Jesus, Freckles, watch where the hell you're aiming those things!"

I groaned and glanced down to see Sawyer holding what I had thrown down. "Thought I told you I didn't need an escort." I managed to lower myself to a place where I could drop the fruit without harming them then climbed the rest of the way to the ground.

"Like that's enough to stop me." He tossed the rotten fruit on the ground then bent down and gathered our food.

"True." I took a few pieces from him so his hands weren't full. After a moment of hesitating, I turned to face him. "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Depends on what I get in return," Sawyer answered, smirking.

I wasn't shocked. That was the answer I had expected from him. I opened my mouth to respond, but Sayid walked through the bushes.

"Looks like you found what you were looking for," Sayid stated before looking over at Sawyer then back at me again. "I'm sorry. Am I interrupting something?"

I forced a smile. "No. We were just getting ready to head back." I gave Sawyer a look then headed in the direction of where I assumed Jack had started to make the fire. When I got there, I noticed he had set up the wood but seemed to be silently questioning how to light it.

"Ey." Sawyer tossed a lighter in his general direction. Jack looked at it then picked it up, giving what might have been a smile to Sawyer before lighting the fire.

I gave everybody something to eat then took a seat, using a hand to prop myself up. I'm suddenly starving and devour the piece of fruit as the guys begin discussing the crash and Danielle's transmission. Once again, it's already stuff I knew, so I spent my time reminiscing about Aaron and thinking about my new life here on the island.

"If we tell them what we know, we take away their hope. And hope is a very dangerous thing to lose," Sayid stated. The three guys went silent, just sort of looking at each other.

I glanced once at all of them then cleared my throat and tossed the core of my fruit into the jungle. "So we lie," I provided the solution. I could tell none of us were happy about it, but it was the only answer we had.

Sayid lied down to sleep and Sawyer pulled the letter he had been holding onto earlier out of his pocket and began to read it. I scooted over to Jack, sitting so I was facing him and placing my hands on my lap. "Hey," I whispered, smiling at him. "I'm glad you decided to come with me…with us," I quickly corrected myself, feeling my cheeks turn red. Fortunately, it was dark out and I doubted he could see me blushing.

"I'm glad you invited me," Jack replied. He lied down on his back, glancing into my eyes before turning his head to stare up at the sky.

"Are you okay?" I asked, my smile fading slightly. "You seem a bit distracted."

"I'm good."

It was emotionless and not quite the answer I was looking for. I nodded my head. "Alright." I scooted back over to where I had previously been sitting. "Goodnight then." He responded with his goodnight which at least slightly satisfied me that he wasn't angry at me. I lowered myself to my side so I was facing him and shut my eyes, slowly drifting off.

----------

I woke up in the middle of the night to someone muttering my name and shaking me. I yawned and rubbed my face, rolling over to stare up at Sawyer. "What?" I muttered, slowly pushing myself into a sitting position.

"Shhh," he replied, bringing his finger to his lips. "Don't want to wake up Jack-O and Muhammad, do we?" He sat back, propping himself up on his elbows. "I wanna know about this favor you were gonna ask me to do. Like I asked, what's in it for me?"

"Whatever you want," I answered quickly, suddenly feeling awake. "Take your time in deciding." I pulled the gun I had taken from him from my pocket.

"What the hell you gonna do with that?" Sawyer questioned, eyeing it.

I laughed quietly. "You act like I'm going to shoot you with it." I held it out to him, but kept my fingers tightly around it. "I need you to shoot someone for me. I need you to shoot him in the head." I glanced at Jack and Sayid to make sure they were still sleeping.

Sawyer gave me a look that was clearly asking if I was out of my mind. "You want me to…"

"Listen," I cut him off. "Back at camp, there's a man with a piece of shrapnel stuck in his side. He's dying. But if for some reason he lives, things won't be good. I need you to do this for me."

"If you're so desperate to take a man's life away from him, then why the hell don't you do it yourself?" Sawyer tore his eyes away from the gun in my hand and looked directly at my face.

"He was the marshal on the plane," I told him. I was sure my nervousness in telling him this was causing me to shake. I lowered my voice and he leaned in to hear me. "I was his prisoner. If he lives, he'll lock me up right here on the island. People are going to find out I was the one he was escorting. And if I kill him, God knows what they'll do to me. I need you to do this for me," I begged. "Please, Sawyer."

The way he was looking at me almost seemed as if he understood. I felt a sudden connection between him. I couldn't explain the feeling. He apparently felt it too, because when I unwrapped my fingers from the gun, he nodded his head and took it in silence.

"Thank you." I whispered. I didn't get a response from him, not that I really expected to. I lied back down and shut my eyes again, letting out a long breath of relief.

----------

It was mid-afternoon by the time we arrived back at camp the next day. We had slept in late then stopped to chat as we ate a few more pieces of fruit for brunch. Sayid began explaining our trip to the group of other survivors. Jack stuck around to listen and Sawyer wandered off somewhere. I walked around for a few moments before I made my way over to Edward. He was surrounded by a tarp and I was thankful no one could see me after I walked inside.

I stared down at the marshal in disgust. He looked like he was unconscious. I glanced around then slid my hand into his pocket and pulled out the picture of my mugshot. I slipped it in my pocket then grabbed for his wallet too. I slowly slid it out of his pocket. I just needed to get the key for the case and…

The marshal's eyes flew open and his hands went around my neck. I would have gasped in shock, but I couldn't breath. He tightened his grip and I began to claw at his hands, struggling to get away.

"What the hell is going on in here?!" Jack rushed in and just as he was about the pry the marshal off of me, the man went into convulsions. "What did you do?" Jack shot me a glare as I backed up against the tarp.

"I didn't do anything. I was checking to see if he was okay and he grabbed me." I placed my hands on my neck, rubbing it slightly. "I'm going to go find the guy with the antibiotics."

"I need to take the shrapnel out," was the last thing I heard Jack say before I rushed out of the tent to go find Hurley. I ran straight into the guy, literally. The water bottles in his arms fell to the ground and I quickly knelt down to pick them up for him. "I'm sorry." I shook my head, getting to my feet and handing them over to him. "I was looking for you."

"For the medicine, right?" Hurley shoved his hands in his pockets. "This is all I found in the luggage on the beach and in that guy's stash." He handed over two bottles of pills.

"Thank you." I held them in one hand without looking them over. "I don't think we've officially met. I'm Kate." I reached to shake his free hand that wasn't holding the water bottles.

"Hurley." He took my hand then glanced around. "I gotta go get this water to Sayid. Will you take one to uh…Jack?" He offered me a bottle.

"Yeah." I took the bottle and held it in my hand that wasn't holding the medicine. "It was uh…nice meeting you, Hurley." I forced a smile then headed back to the infirmary. I felt dizzy again and hesitated outside before slowly walking in. I approached him just as he yanked the shrapnel out of the man's side. Feeling sick, I looked away. "I uh…I got the antibiotics from Hurley." I glanced over again as he was finishing wrapping up the wound to put pressure on it.

After a few moments, he got up and took the bottles from my hand. He gave what sounded like a sarcastic laugh. "These are for ear infections and foot fungus, Kate. Did he check the inside of the plane?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. He said those were all he found on the beach and Sawyer's stash. Do you want me to…"

"It's fine. I'll do it." Jack shook his head. He took the water bottle as I offered it to him and used it to wash the blood off his hands "You okay?"

My hand found whatever was holding up the tarp. I found myself suddenly wondering if I was getting side-effects from my twisted time travel experience. "I'm good. I'm…" My stomach turned. "I might throw up."

At one point in time, I probably would have simply turned and darted into the jungle. Now, I shrunk slightly into his embrace as he led me out and around back of the infirmary. "Do you think you're coming down with something?" he questioned. "You're just suddenly not…"

"I think…I don't know." I stopped out back of the infirmary, and began trying to get my hair out of my face. I had gotten so used to wearing it down -because Jack liked it that way- that I realized now I hadn't even pulled it up to go on either hikes. He had one arm around me to support me and I felt him taking over in lifting my hair back away from my face. I gripped the arm that was around me, trying not to dig my nails into his skin as I heaved a few times then emptied my stomach.

I would have felt disgusting, but last year I had caught the stomach flu from pretty bad from Aaron and ended up vomiting twice on the floor and once on Jack. Needless to say, it was a pretty bad night. This put me in nowhere near as much shame. I wiped my mouth and slouched back against him when my stomach began to feel better. I followed him as he led me back a few feet and let him help me sit down.

I noticed Sawyer watching me off to the side, but my attention got pulled back to Jack when he knelt down in front of me. He laid a hand on her forehead then put both hands on my cheeks. I knew I didn't have a temperature. His hands lingered comfortingly on my face and I glanced up at him and swallowed. Looking into his eyes, I suddenly felt the same connection I had felt with Sawyer not that long ago.

"Feel any better now?"

I was about to answer him when a gunshot went off from inside the infirmary. We both jumped. Jack got to his feet and rushed in just as Sawyer walked out. I leaned my head forward slightly and closed my eyes. When I opened my eyes again, Sawyer was kneeling beside me. He uncapped a bottle of water and handed it to me. I rinsed out my mouth then took a few small sips.

"You owe me big time, Freckles," Sawyer muttered. He got to his feet and turned to walk away.

Jack came storming out of the tent. "What the hell did you do?" he questioned, giving Sawyer a shove.

"I did what needed to be done," Sawyer replied, shoving him back. "He was gonna die anyway! Why put him through all the suffering!"

I got to my feet. "Jack," I said, taking a few steps toward him. He didn't even look at me. "Jack!" This time he looked at me. "I have to give you something."

"Kate, now really isn't the time." He went to follow Sawyer as he began to walk away.

"It's important." I looked at him pleadingly. I reached in my pocket and pulled out my folded mugshot. I held it out to him. "Take it," I insisted.

Jack looked at the paper then took it from my hands. He began to open it, but I grabbed his hands to stop him. "Not right now," I said, shaking my head. "Wait till I walk away. You're my friend and…I just thought you should know that Sawyer is my friend too." I hoped it would explain why Sawyer shot him and Jack wouldn't take out his anger on him. I turned and walked away, not glancing back as I knew Jack was unfolding what summed up my entire past.


	5. Walkabout

**ILoveNeil** - Glad you like it.  
**Temporarilymisplaced** - Glad you found it intense. I wasn't sure whether or not she should give him the mugshot. But she really does want to get off to a good star...if that's possible considering she's still just kind of a criminal.  
**Famous4it** - I'm glad I'm managing to put you in suspense! =D  
**Boo2ubam** - Hehe. I'm gonna have fun with this. I can just imagine trying to make Kate explain it to Jack eventually.  
**Lostcandy** - Huh. Wow. I've never come across a theory like that. Though, I don't really read too many theories...which could explain it. It was an accident stumbling across the Adam/Eve one. Someone mentioned how much they'd hate if it reset like this...but I thought it'd be rather enjoyable if one person remembered the rest were all, "huh?!"  
**P** - Glad you think it's interesting. ^-^  
**Rainydaytruth** - Yeah. I know. I really suck at writing Sawyer. He's going to be really ticked off at Kate in the near future tho...so hopefully he'll be more like he is on the show.

I really hope for some feedback on this chapter. I was wayyy nervous about how I was going to write it...or even if I was going to change things this much yet. I think I made the right choice though. Enjoy!

* * *

The sun had gone down, and I sat alone near the water's edge. Once upon a time, it had been sunny and Jack had been sitting beside me telling me he didn't want to know what I did. I glanced behind me, watching as most people lied down to get as much sleep as they could. Some people slept easy on the island. I didn't understand that. From the point I had first crashed there until where right at this moment, I had never managed to get a good night's sleep. Even now that I knew the majority of what was to happen, I still couldn't rest.

I glanced at Sayid in the distance. He didn't look to be sleeping either and I figured he was working on the device I previously broke after he made it. I'd try not to be clumsy this time. Locke was sitting by himself just looking around. Michael was asleep, but Walt was staring at Locke. Sawyer was going through a suitcase, occasionally pausing to look something over.

"Hey." Jack walked past me, blocking my view of the others. He took a seat beside me, facing toward the ocean.

"Hey," I replied quietly. My legs had been stretched out in front of me as I leaned back against my hands, but I drew my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. "You should be sleeping."

"So should you," he responded. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper that I recognized as my mugshot. "I came to give this back to you."

I looked away before glancing at it and slowly taking it from him. "Why?" I questioned sarcastically. "Don't want to hang it on your refrigerator?" The way he stared at me almost made me think he was pitying me. I avoided looking at him, crumpling the piece of paper and shoving it in my pocket.

"It's just a paper here," he commented. "You're responsible for the marshal dying, but what we did before this, before the crash…it doesn't matter, Kate. Three days ago, we all died. We should be able to start over."

I turned my head quickly to look at him, narrowing my eyes. "I didn't die, Jack." My voice came out choked whether than with strength as I had wanted it to.

He opened his mouth to speak. I actually found myself wondering how he was going to respond to that. Before he could even say one word, there was a loud crash in the direction of the fuselage. People began to get to their feet, making their way over toward the opening. "I'll be back." Jack went to join the group in checking out what was going on.

For awhile, I turned around and stared at them. I had no interest in joining them only to be chased away by wild boars. I faced the ocean again, resting my head against my legs and closing my eyes. The sound of screaming and people scrambling to get away didn't even faze me. I knew the worst that would happen was Charlie would get his side scraped and Jack would propose we burn the fuselage.

----------

I sat by the water a long time, dozing in and out of sleep. I tried to convince myself I just didn't feel like going to bed, but I knew I was waiting for Jack. He never came back.

The nausea returned sometime in the early hours of the morning not long after the sun came up. I found myself momentarily dizzy and then I was vomiting on the sand beside me. Tears stung my eyes. I hated being sick and this was the worst possible time for it to happen. I cursed Jacob, placing the blame on him. Once I was sure my stomach couldn't get any emptier, I got to my feet and brushed the sand off the back of my pants.

Sayid was staring at me when I turned around. He gave me a sympathetic look then glanced away. The rest of the survivors were either sleeping or just waking up and didn't even notice me. For that, I was glad. Turning to the side, I rubbed at my eyes then faced the beach again. When I noticed Sayid take another glance at me, I walked over. "Looks like I'm not the only one who couldn't sleep last night," I commented.

"There are better things to do with my time than collect firewood." He turned his attention back to the machine in his hand. "I'm trying to find a power source on the island."

"Can I help?" I knew this mission would end as equally well as the last two, but I couldn't sit around all day. I needed to be up and doing whatever would take my mind off of what was going on.

"It appears you are as anxious to get off this island as I am," Sayid said. "You don't look well though. I don't think it's such a good idea."

I crossed my arms tightly across my chest. "Right." I didn't need Sayid's permission to go hunt for boars later anyway. I walked away.

My stomach was growling and begging for food, but I knew there was none left. I walked back and forth across the beach, gathering pieces of the plane and setting them up together to make myself a shelter. We'd be here for awhile and I still needed a nice place to live. Some people were giving me curious looks and others were looking less than happy with me for taking things that didn't belong to me. If they were smart, they'd have been doing to exact same thing. I made my shelter back toward the jungle, far away from the ocean so it wouldn't end up getting washed away. I thought about moving other things back or warning people to start moving them back, but it wasn't one of my top priorities.

I finally dropped down outside my completed shelter and closed my eyes. I began to drift off, but someone sat down beside me.

"So a group is going boar hunting so we have some food." It was Jack's voice.

I opened my eyes again and glanced over at him. "Do they need anymore help?" I began to get to my feet, but he placed a hand on my arm to keep me down.

"They don't need anymore help. Locke, Michael, and Sayid are going. Tell me something; how come every time there's a hike into the heart of darkness, you sign up?"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're worried about me, Jack," I commented, getting to my feet once again.

He too got to his feet. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you have a problem staying in one place for very long, Kate."

I was suddenly so angry, I swore my cheeks were beginning to go red. Soon, I knew I'd have smoke coming out my ears followed by a fire whistle. I was the one that couldn't stay in one place very long? Me?! He was the one that left me and Aaron. He was the one so eager to get off the island and then so eager to go back. "You didn't come back last night. I'm going boar hunting." I marched away from him and over toward where the group was just leaving.

I kept my distance, figuring I'd follow them to a place where telling me to turn back would just be pointless. I followed in silence for several minutes, hiding behind trees. The path they were taking was all too familiar to me. I stopped and glanced around, watching as the group in front of me walked off until they were no longer visible. I turned to the right, walking hesitantly in the direction. Some places were a bit difficult to go through now that things were back to being not trampled and uncut and no longer made easy access paths. I felt the back of my pants, cursing when I realized I had no gun I was carrying with me. I had gotten so used to having weapons, even back at home.

I came to a halt at my destination, shifting nervously from one foot to the other. I wondered if there was even point in uncovering the hatch if I could secretly lead someone else to the back door. I also wondered if this was a good idea or not. After shoving away from vines that were growing in front of the door, my fist slammed against it. "Desmond!" I shouted. "Desmond! Hey!"

The door creaked loudly then swung open. Desmond stood in the doorway, pointing a rifle straight at me.

I held my hands in the air and took a few steps back. "Whoa. It's okay. It's fine. I'm…"

"Kate?"

I gasped and let my hands drop to my side. "How do you…?" My voice trailed off as I took in his appearance. He wore a white dress shirt with blue jeans and his hair was combed back nicely. "I mean…How…"

A little voice cut me off. "Daddy?" The small boy hid behind Desmond, reaching up to clutch his shirt sleeve.

"Charlie! What did I tell you about…" Penny approached him, placing her hand on the child's shoulders. She glanced at Desmond then looked at me, her hands flying to her mouth with a gasp. "Kate?"

I was in shock. My mind could barely wrap around this. I wanted to cry out in joy and throw my arms around them. Instead, I just stood there staring with my mouth partially open.

"Who she?" Charlie was staring up at me, still clinging to Desmond. "She Udder?"

Desmond glanced down at him and laughed. "You mean Other, Charlie. No, she's not an Other." He scooped up his son and took a few steps back, motioning me inside. "I guess we have some catching up to do."

"Yeah," I agreed. I stared at Charlie as I walked inside, missing Aaron. "Could you…" I didn't know what to ask. I motioned toward the toddler, hit by an extreme feeling of guilt as I realized I just couldn't be in the same room as him.

Desmond looked confused. He nodded his head though and turned to leave. "It's time for your nap, Charlie." He ignored the boy's protests as he carried him out of the room and back toward the bunk beds.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, allowing Penny to lead me to the kitchen and over to one of the booths to sit down. I took a seat and placed my head in my hands, trying to wrap my mind around all this while also trying to push Aaron from my mind.

"Do you want some coffee until Desmond gets out here?" She asked, placing her hands on the table as I glanced up. "Anything to eat?"

"No coffee." I shook my head. "Food sounds great though. Even Dharma brand." We smiled at each other and I leaned back against the back of the booth seat.

"I'll make us all sandwiches."

I watched her go to make us lunch then glanced around the hatch. I had to admit that I didn't miss this place at all. It used to make me feel trapped and claustrophobic. I no longer had the same feeling, but I didn't like it any more than I had before it imploded.

"So where are the others?" Desmond walked over and took a seat in front of me. "You couldn't have come alone."

"Well, I did," I answered. "Jack thinks I'm out hunting boars." I shook my head, resting my elbow on the table and my head against my hand. "How did you get back here, Desmond?"

He sighed and scratched his head. "I had to come back here. I had this dream…it was more of a memory. And then…then I just had this feelin', ya know? Like I was needed here or something. It wasn't easy to convince Penny to come. Especially with Charlie and all. We came on our boat and as soon as the island came into view…there was this flash. It felt like it did when the hatch exploded. And then the three of us were lying outside the hatch again."

"He took it as a sign we were supposed to stay here." Penny set down the plates with sandwiches on them on the table then took a seat beside Desmond. "So we've been here for three days waiting for something to happen next. And now you showed up."

"So you mean you didn't die?" I picked up my sandwich and took a rather large bite.

"Die? I don't…" Penny shook her head.

I chewed for a moment then swallowed, my mouth still half full as I spoke. "Of course you didn't die. You remember who I am." I swallowed the rest of my food.

"What's all this nonsense about death?" Penny asked. She glanced at me then looked at Desmond before looking over at me again.

I took a breath, unable to figure out where to start for a moment. "We came back," I told them. "All of us who had been rescued. And we were back in time and…none of that matters. There was a bomb."

"A bomb?" Desmond asked.

I nodded. "There was a bomb. And Jack thought if he could make it explode that we could fix everything. That it'd all be like the past when we first crashed on the island." I watched as Penny and Desmond gripped hands. I'd never even thought of what would have happened to them if that's what really had happened. "But it didn't. I woke up and everyone, well, dead." I glanced away for a moment. "But Jacob he…he gave me this talk on destiny and led me to this place where I had to push some wheel. And there was the flash. And I woke up in the jungle right after the crash."

"Everyone from the crash is dead?" Desmond asked. "Jack and Hurley and Sun and…"

"No," I shook my head quickly. "Well, yes. But no. They died. But they still survived the crashed. It's just like being in the past with them. They don't remember anything like we do. This is our past. But this is their present."

The two of them looked confused.

"They don't know who you are," I spelled it out for them. "They don't know about the hatch. They just met me a few days ago. Claire is still pregnant with Aaron and Jack…he just met me." I took another bite of my sandwich, this time having to force myself to chew and swallow.

"Wow," Penny muttered.

"So they don't know we're here," Desmond stated.

"Of course they don't know we're here," Penny said. "Kate didn't even know we were here."

"I mean they haven't found the hatch yet." Desmond glanced at me for conformation.

"Boone and Locke haven't dug it up yet," I established. "Don't let them in on any of this. When they get here, it's going to have to be just like the first time this happened. I still plan on being the first one down here. But, maybe, do you think this time you could give me a softer landing incase I fall again?" I smirked.

Desmond chuckled. "I'll try to slid a few couch cushions or a mattress there."

Penny leaned back. "This is just…"

"Crazy?" I supplied. Neither Desmond nor I looked quite as in shock as she did. We had already experienced so much on this island that I doubted anything could truly be unbelievable anymore. I continued eating, staring down at the table. "I was preparing myself to be shot when you opened the door."

"Sorry about that," Desmond apologized. "You just never know here."

I nodded. "I mean, it was just a shock…all of this." I motioned around. "It's great really. I was beginning to feel…I don't know." I finished my sandwich then brushed my hands together to get rid of the crumbs. "Do you uh…" I swallowed the rest of the food in my mouth then rubbed the back of my neck. "Do you mind if I use the shower?"

"Of course not," Penny answered. "I guess this is as much your place as it is ours."

I paused. "I guess it kind of is, huh?" It was more of a rhetorical question and they seemed to get that. "Thank you." I got to my feet. "I don't know how to even repay you for letting me in."

"This isn't something that needs to be repaid, Kate," Penny answered. "Your explanation was enough. We're all in this together. Though, I suppose, you could come back and visit until they dig us up."

I laughed. "I guess I could find the time to do that." I headed back to the bathroom. After three days, the supply of soap, shampoo, and disposable razors was like Heaven. But even those were nothing compared to the cold, sulfur-smelling water that wasn't full of salt. I now knew when I came to visit, I was going to bring my clothes along to throw in the washing machine.

I took my time in the shower. I was suddenly in no hurry to get back to the beach. I wanted to stay in the hatch. Jack was back at the beach though. I thought about secretly leading him here, but I had a feeling he'd share this place with the rest of our group. A towel wrapped around me, I stood right outside of the shower, examining the razor in my hand before I was about to toss it in the trash. I wondered what would happen if I were to die. If I too could wake up as if we had just crashed. If I could forget Aaron and all the hell Jack out me through. I tossed the razor and dropped the towel then slid on my clothes.

After pushing open the bathroom door, I headed down the hall. The bedroom door was cracked. Coming to a stop, I didn't quite know what I was thinking. I peered inside at the sleeping child. Unable to hear Desmond or Penny after a few moments of listening, I let myself in and walked over to the bed. Charlie was beautiful, but not as beautiful as my own son had been. I took a seat beside him. I knew how to be quiet and gentle so as not to wake a sleeping child now. Sliding my fingers through his curls, I was hit by how much I missed being a mother.

"Did he vanish?"

I glanced up to see Penny leaning against the doorway. "What?"

"Aaron," she whispered. "You said his mother was still pregnant with him. Did he vanish?"

"No," I replied then paused. I hadn't even thought about it. My child really could no longer be in existence. "Well, maybe. I left him with his grandmother. I couldn't bring him back here."

"It must be really hard having another one," she commented.

I was confused and a bit shocked. "What?"

"You mean, you're not…?" She motioned with her hands.

"What? Of course not." I stopped stroking the child's head and got to my feet. "What would make you think that?"

Penny looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry. It's just, you look tired, but you didn't want coffee. You devoured food like I did when I was pregnant. And you're kind of…well glowing."

I shook my head. I tried not to take in account vomiting and the fact that my period should have started the day we crashed. "It's impossible." I left the room, not wanting to wake the baby. "Before the crash, I haven't had well…There's really no one to have sex with on the run." I could feel myself blushing.

Penny also stepped out of the room and shut the door. "You weren't on the run before the crash though," she commented. "Not according to your story. You never died…so that means you're still you; just like Desmond, Charlie, and I are still us. Forget about the crash. When did you last…You know?"

My hands flew to my mouth and fear consumed me. "Oh, God." I very vaguely recalled taking advantage of Jack after I had dropped Aaron off with Claire's mother. It had been a bad night and I could barely remember it, but I knew we had had sex. I counted how long ago that had been and calmed slightly. "It's impossible. It wasn't even two weeks ago. And before that, Jack was a bit…distant." I didn't want to go into detail with anyone.

"You're time traveling though, Kate. Things could be a little…" She shrugged. "Things could be a bit off after you've gone through time, don't you think?"

The fear was back. "I…no. It's impossible." I ran a hand through my wet curls then crossed my arms across my chest. "I really need to get back before people start to wonder where I am. I promise I'll be back as soon as I get the chance. I'm just going to use the bathroom before I go…" I motioned toward the bathroom.

Penny nodded her head. The computer buzzer began going off. "I need to get that before it wakes Charlie." She spun around and hurried out of sight.

I closed my eyes and slouched heavily against the wall for a moment. It was impossible to be pregnant with Jack's child when technically he just met me three days ago. I tried to convince myself it could never really happen. My mind refused to believe it. I straightened up and ventured into the bathroom, glancing around at the cupboards. I opened almost every one, reminding myself every two seconds the island had some issues with pregnancy. I finally found a small stash of tests shoved far in the back of a cabinet under the sink. I grabbed one and shoved it in my pocket then wandered toward the back door.

I didn't say goodbye to Desmond. I had to get out of the hatch and back to the beach. I had to pretend like we had just crashed on the island and none of this had ever happened. If I could only convince myself for a few seconds…

The sun was beginning to set as I finally made it onto the beach. A group of survivors were beginning to gather around the fuselage. I noticed those who had gone to hunt boars among the group and swore under my breath.

"So where were you today, Kate?"

I spun around to see Jack sitting alone a few feet away. "Looks like a few people could be asking you the same question right now." I walked over and knelt down beside him. I wondered what it would have been like at home. I might have been sitting beside him with the test in my pocket, full of anxiousness and joy. I bet I wouldn't have been able to wait to take it and hopefully tell him I was going to have his baby. Now, I was full of dread. "You okay?"

"Looks like I could be asking you the same question right now."

"Touché." I sat comfortably beside him, watching the memorial for the bodies from a distance.


	6. White Rabbit

There's a reason I'm updating so fast. I'm going to camp soon and I want to leave off at a place where I know I'm definitely going to want to continue when I get back. Updates probably won't come in so frequently after camp. Maybe 1 - 3x a week prolly.  
That and your reviews make me feel all warm and fuzzy. ^-^

**Lostcandy** - I was a bit hesitant about adding Desmond and Penny...but I'm way glad I did. And I would love if there was an S6 Jaby on the way. x]  
**Temporarilymisplaced** - Rules are overrated for Desmond. ^-^ Jabies are the best. 3  
**Famous4it** - Thanks so much! That's an amazing compliment. I really appreciate it. And I'm rewatching as I type chapters. Sometimes I type the chapters before I watch and I find myself getting mad at the TV for not being how I wrote it. Haha.  
**Northern Wolf** - I haven't decided whether or not to reveal the hatch early yet. I'm pretty sure I have a much better idea in mind tho. =D  
**P** - Haha. I'm wondering the same exact thing. Kate and I haven't quite worked that out yet. I'm still trying to convince her to drop the denial. If I left it to her, she'd be 8 months pregnant and a hippo and all, "Nope. Not pregnant. You stupid writer."  
**Boo2ubam** - He can't really get his memory back...because it's not a memory. This is Kate's past, but it's Jack's present. Future Jack -the Jack who could remember all this- is dead. I view them technically as two seperate people.  
**Ilayda** - I gave the whole Aaron thing a lot of thought before I started the fic. And from what I've decided, no. There is only one Aaron and he is still in Claire's womb. Kate's Aaron no longer exists. Now that she's began living in the past, if she were to transport to the future, things would be different and there's a chance that Aaron would still be with Claire. If she went into the future now, the future would no longer be the same. She couldn't even time-travel back to the time of the bomb and go into the future to get him. She'd just end up where she is now...bc where she is now is the future of the past. Does that make sense? xD  
**ILoveNeil** - I'm glad you liked the chapter...and the story as a whole! Thanks for the review!

Enjoy the Jangst!

* * *

I went to bed long before anyone else did. I wanted to stay up with Jack, but I found myself completely exhausted. I gave up on begging him to sleep too. I knew it wasted effort and I'd deal with it later. Letting him to sit alone, I wandered to my shelter and lied down on the airplane seats I had placed there. Compared the ground, it was amazing. I wanted to go home and sleep in my own bed though. I silently cursed Jack for making me come back here.

Waking up in the morning to throw up was like torture to me. I kept the pregnancy test in the pocket of my pants, because until I took it and it possibly proved I was pregnant, I simply had some twisted stomach bug.

_The beach wasn't the same as the one on the island. The beach on the island was pretty, but the beach where I was standing was the epitome of beauty. The sand was the perfect shade of tan and around me was unscathed except for the footprints that led to where I was. Rocks, stones, and glossy pebbles scattered themselves beside the water's edge, beat on gently as the waves crashed down upon them. _

_If it's possible for music to elegantly float through the air, that's what Nickelback's Far Away was doing. It slowly flowed on top of the breeze and just felt oh so fitting for a moment I never wanted to forget. _

_I closed my eyes, feeling the cool, salty atmosphere ruffle my chocolate colored curls that had taken hours to fix. They were held back with a thin headband in a style that was feminine, but at the same time not unlike me. My hair looked soft, but upon touching it, I knew it would take hours to get out all the hairspray._

_My dress was white with spaghetti straps and fit me perfectly. It had sparkling silver designs that not only covered the top and straps, but also the lacey bottom that was hovering above the sand in the gentle wind. I felt prettier than I'd ever felt in my entire life. _

"_Guess who." Two hands covered my eyes._

_I found myself giggling like a little kid. "I don't know. But whoever you are, you must use just the right amount of lotion on your hands." I snuggled against the person behind me, leaning my head back against his shoulder. "It couldn't be my amazing husband, Jack Shephard, because he would never sneak up behind me."_

_Chuckling, Jack removed his hands from over my eyes and swatted at my thigh. "Well, you couldn't be my beautiful wife, Kate Shephard, because she would never be trying to cuddle with someone who wasn't her amazing, sexy, hunky, brilliant…"_

"_Hold on. I stopped at amazing." I turned to face him, placing my hands on my hips._

"…_husband, Jack Shephard," he finished sheepishly. He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer._

"_You look handsome in a suit." I pulled back a bit and admired him. His suit was black with three buttons on the jacket. The shirt underneath was white and he wore a silver tie that matched the designs on my dress. "We look perfect."_

"_You surpass perfect." He leaned forward, pressing his lips softly against mine. I kissed him back, inching forward and sliding one arm around his neck and the other around his waist. He slid one arm around my waist and supported my head with his other hand. "Do you trust me?" he whispered._

_His lips were so close to mine that when he spoke, they brushed my own with the pronunciation of each sound. I could taste his warm breath and I felt captivated, needing more. He made me feel so fragile, as if I were nothing but a thin sheet of glass. "Mm," I mumbled my answer, unable to get out anything more. I felt the wedding band on my ring finger with my thumb, breathing shakily._

_His lips were suddenly against mine again. He tilted me backwards and I felt like I was suspended in midair. And then he dropped me. I fell._

_And fell…_

_And fell…_

_And fell…_

_And shattered against cold cement as a bomb exploded in the distance._

I sat straight up, sucking air into my lungs as if I were running out of it. I fumbled with my hands, finally gripping my ring finger. There was no wedding band, but there was an engagement ring. I was still wearing it. Tears of rage burned my eyes as I pulled it from my finger and chucked it in a random direction. It made a pinging noise as it crashed against a metal piece of my shelter. "I trusted you and you broke me," I whispered to the empty space beside me, curling up on my side.

There was some sort of commotion outside. I rubbed the tears from my eyes and got to my feet, peering out the opening of my shelter. There was a group gathered down by the ocean. "Joanna," I mumbled. I felt a rush of panic and guilt. I darted outside to tell Boone to let Jack go in after her, hoping Jack could save her life. Boone was soaking wet and Jack was walking dejectedly up the beach.

As angry as I was with him right then, he just looked so disappointed in himself. I stepped out of my hiding place and ambled over to him. "Hey." I nervously rubbed the back of my neck.

"Do you know who she was?" He questioned, looking anywhere but me.

"Jack, maybe you should…" My voice trailed off because I didn't know what to say.

"Who was she?" Jack paused between each word, turning to face me. His voice was intimidating and it sent a shiver down my spine.

"Her name was Joanna. She…" I stopped and shook my head. "Jack, don't."

"Don't what? I want to know who she was. I never talked to her. I never said a word…"

"Don't act like this!" I cut him off. "Don't act like it's all your fault, because it isn't, and I worry about you when you act this way!" I narrowed my eyes at him, almost unable to hold back my fury. He stared off in the distance. "Are you listening to me? Jack?"

"Did you see that?" He took a few steps forward.

I glanced over to where he was looking and shook my head. Not this again. "Jack, you're probably hallucinating," I spat. "Why? Because you're not sleeping! As a doctor, you should know…" He walked away from me, not even looking at me. "Would you listen to me for once?!" He kept walking. "Jack!"

He spun around and pointed a finger at me. "Don't talk to me like you're my boss, Kate. If you want to be a leader here, if you want to be the hero, fine! But don't tell me what to do. I don't even know you." He walked toward the jungle.

"Well, it's a good thing I don't know you either!" I wanted to take his engagement ring and shove it down his ungrateful throat. I could sense the other survivors staring at me, but when I spun around to glare at them, they quickly turned their heads.

"Well, well, well. We been here, what, 6 days? Already, there's some lover spats going on." Sawyer strode up to me, hands shoved in his pockets. "Guess murderer's never really get the chance at relationships outside their victims, huh?"

I balled my hands into fists and faced him. "What could you possibly want right now?"

The southerner shrugged. "Haven't thought about what you owe me yet. Just felt a little extra-social today and you looked like you could enjoy the company considerin' ya just chased your boyfriend off into The Jungle of Mystery to get eatin' by polar bears. Ever thought of an affair behind his back? I make a better boyfriend."

I scowled, because at the moment that was probably true. "Sorry," I muttered sarcastically. "I'm not a cheater." I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my arm and turned me to face him again. I smirked and placed my face close to his, our lips only centimeters apart. "I know your type."

His gripped loosened. "You do, huh? And what would my type be?"

"Manwhore." I yanked away from him and walked off, heading down the beach. I didn't glance back, because I knew he'd still have the irresistible smirk on his face.

I stopped at my shelter and walked inside then changed my clothes. I glanced around for a bag, but just ended up grabbing the blanket from my 'bed'. After tossing the clothes I had worn since we got here (pregnancy test discarded on the ground) on top of it, I tied it and picked it up, along with the water bottles that (probably) Jack had put by my shelter. I could always get something to drink from the hatch.

Claire was beginning to sort clothing out in the sun. It had been a job I once started, but I had other things to do now. I took a few steps toward her, then noticed Sun walking past. "Hey!" She turned to look at me. I wondered if I should go with the whole not speaking English thing or not. I decided to play along for the moment. "Can you give these to Claire?" I motioned toward the water bottles then pointed to Claire.

Sun pretended to hesitate then slowly nodded. She took the water bottles then walked over toward Claire.

I watched them for a moment, making sure Claire got them and took a drink. I didn't want her passing out. I felt guilty, but it was because my care for Aaron this time and not my care for her.

I walked toward the hatch again, intent on getting a good meal and doing some laundry while I chatted with Desmond and Penny. Things felt a bit off on the way there. I kept hearing bushes rattling and such noises. I reassured myself over and over it was a breezy day and there were a lot of unexplained noises in the jungle.

I approached the hatch then turned the handle, the door creaking as it opened. "Guy's, I'm…!"

"Whoa! What is this place?!"

I gasped and brought my hand to my chest, jumping probably about ten feet in the air. I spun around to face Walt and Vincent. "Walt? You followed me?!"

The young boy was staring at the hatch in awe. "I was bored," he replied, taking a few steps forward. "I thought you were going to look for water, so Vincent and I decided to help out."

"You decided to help out by sneaking up behind me?" I asked, attempting to just breathe in and out. This reminded me of the times Aaron would crawl out of bed and sneak into my room, jumping out at me just as I walked through the doorway. "You can't be here. And you can't tell anyone about this."

"Why can't I be here?" Walt dragged Vincent forward, touching the door of the hatch. "Wanna know a secret?"

I rubbed my forehead. I could hear someone heading toward the hatch door. "Sure." I didn't. "What is it?"

"I know we're not here by accident," he commented, seeming to be examining the outside of the door. "And I know you know more about this place than anybody else does. You even know more than Mr. Locke."

"And how do you know that?" I demanded, feeling rather flustered.

"I may be ten, but I'm not a stupid, little kid." He looked up as Desmond appeared at the door with a rifle. "Whoa! Is that a real gun? We only have knives back at camp!"

Desmond glanced at me and tilted his head.

"He followed me," I tried to defend myself. "Kids are sneaky. You should know that."

"No kidding, Mate." He stepped aside to let us in.

----------

The sun was going down by the time we began to head back. Walt had taken a shower as I did our laundry then played with Vincent and Charlie. I chatted with Penny (neither of us bringing up the matter of pregnancy or children) and then also had the privilege of using the shower again. Penny cooked dinner for all of us then kindly asked if I would put Charlie to bed. It was a challenge, but, shockingly, it helped a bit with getting over Aaron.

Jack was giving his 'Live Together, Die Alone' speech when we got back. I hoped he choked on his words. I stood near the back of the group, placing my hand on Walt's shoulder as I pretended to listen. He was fidgeting and I could tell he wasn't really listening either.

"Where the hell have you been, Man?!" Michael came rushing up to us, talking in a harsh but worried whisper. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"I thought Kate was going to look for water," Walt answered. "I was thirsty."

"I'm sorry." I fumbled for words on the inside but appeared to know what I was saying on the outside. "I was going on a hike and he just sort of followed behind me. By the time I realized he was there, we were already deep into the jungle." I showed him where all the chocolate in the hatch was in return for him not breathing a word about the place. "I brought him back as soon as I could."

Michael stared at me. "Uh…thanks." He took Walt by the arm and led him away.

Jack stopped talking and the crowd began to disperse. He zigzagged around a few people and walked over to me, staring down at the sand. "I'm sorry about earlier."

I was shocked and I knew it showed from the look on my face. I replaced it with anger. "I'm sure you are."

"My father died," he stated as if that excused his actions. "In Sydney."

"I'm sorry." I bit down on my tongue to keep from reminding him his father was an ass. Like father, like son, I guessed. I shook my head.

"I'm sorry too." He glanced at me.

I walked away.


	7. House Of The Rising Sun

**Anon** - I'm glad that you're liking it. Hope all the Jangst to come before the love won't turn you away.  
**Northern Wolf** - I'm happy you think it's good! =D  
**Lostcandy** - Glad you like it. I have a nice, ironic line in my head for Jack to later address some of her anger with him.  
**Famous4it** - Ah. Where you heading to? I'm really gonna miss your reviews while you're gone.  
**Boo2ubam** - That's an amazing compliment considering she has like...a billion reviews. o_o Thank you. I had fun writing her dream. I found this beautiful picture of a beach wedding on google. It was the guy and the girl on this beautiful beach and he was kissing her while tipping her back. I was like, "Jate!!!!!!" x] And Jack not remembering does have it's downsides...but he won't be able to remember and end up beating himself up over how bad he hurt her...which is a definite upside. Ah...explaining the baby...I actually figured that out today. -zips lips-  
**Jess** - Our insecurity is one thing I really dislike about us Jaters. Skaters always seem so confident and we...don't. It doesn't say much for our ship. =[ Even if it does end up being Skate, I find confidence in at least knowing it should have been Jate. If it ends up Skate...they screwed up. Hopefully they get their act together by the end of the show, bc IMHO, I think they've already screwed up enough. I've found a lot of the characters completely out of character...and not due to character growth either...just due to wrong decisions made by those who run the show. But uh...enough of my rambling. Glad you're enjoying my fanfic!

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"You keep pacing around me like you're going to attack me or something. It's beginning to make me a bit nervous." Claire smiled softly, placing her hands on her large stomach. "Is there something you need? I know I'm pregnant, but there's still a few things I can do."

"I'm sorry." I rubbed the back of my neck then shoved my hands in my pockets. I hadn't realized she had noticed me, but I wasn't exactly being subtle in my attempts to figure out whether or not to go talk to her. "You were going through suitcases yesterday, right?"

"Well, I was pulling out the clothes and organizing them. Most everything is taken now though. What are you looking for?" The Australian woman placed a hand on her back as she struggled to her feet.

I glanced around. "I was wondering if you found any jewelry."

"Jewelry." Claire paused for a moment. "There was a ring or two. Lots and lots of earrings. I think…"

"More specifically necklaces." I shifted from one foot to the other. "Never mind. It's okay. I'm just going to…"

"I remember a pearl necklace and a chain," she stated. "They were all tangled up. I think I tossed them in a suitcase and threw it with the rest of them. You don't really seem like someone who wears necklaces."

"I'm not."

----------

I picked up my engagement ring from off the sand and brushed it off, looking it over carefully for damage. It was still as gorgeous as the day he slid it on my finger. The chain I had untangled didn't do the ring justice. It was dull and twisted in a few places, but fortunately it was still strong. I slid the ring on it then hooked it around my neck and hid it under my shirt.

"Kate, are you coming along with us to get water?"

I poked my head out of my shelter, raising my eyebrows. "You think I'd miss a chance to hike into heart of darkness? Though, I have a question before we leave." I grabbed my backpack from my things and slid it over my shoulders as I walked out into the sun. I frowned slightly realizing he had already packed his own backpack.

"A question?" He replied, raising an eyebrow at me. "About the hike?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not about the hike." I turned so I was facing his side, placing my hands on his arm. "I want to know about these tattoos of yours." I never did find out too much about them.

He let out a sigh that sounded a bit exasperated and glanced down at me. "Kate." It was almost a whiney voice that had me forcing back a smile. "I'm not going to tell you about my tattoos."

"That's okay." How many years after first seeing them, I wasn't too concerned about them anymore. I leaned close to him and smirked. "I like my doctors hardcore and mysterious." The look on his face was mixture of confusion and shock and was all around priceless. I bounded off in the direction of everyone else, ignoring Charlie's slightly disgusted glances.

Jack approached us slowly, his cheeks a slight shade of red. He cleared his throat and adjusted his backpack. "Okay, let's do this."

I tried not to get ahead of the group as we walked. I found myself walking right behind Jack, occasionally accidentally stepping on his heels. As we got close to the caves, I glanced over at Charlie. "Charlie! Watch where you step!"

The poor rock star must have jumped five feet in the air before scrambling back a few inches. "Bloody hell! What is it?!" He stared at the ground, unmoving. Everyone had turned to face him.

"Oh. I thought I saw something." I pretended to look embarrassed. "Sorry. Let's keep going." I watched him as we continued walking. He had his eyes glued to the ground as if one misstep would send him spiraling into some deep dark abyss. That should have been enough to keep him from stomping on any randomly placed beehives. As much as I loved Jack without clothes, I preferred if we kept our shirts on on this trip. I glanced up just in time to catch Jack staring at me.

He immediately looked away and cleared his throat once more. "Water's this way."

I nodded my head. "So how exactly did you find this place?"

"Luck," he answered.

"That's what you said the first time," I muttered under my breath.

"Excuse me?" He tilted his head to the side. "I didn't quite hear you."

"I froze. I uh…Well, I guess you found it just in time." I smiled at Jack and wandered into one of the caves as he gave instructions to Charlie and Locke. I pursed my lips together as I stared inside, almost overwhelmed by emotion. I quickly rubbed at my eyes before any tears could form and stepped forward a few feet, gazing over where we had died. I didn't see our bodies. I was convincing myself it had all been just some twisted nightmare until I turned to the side and found Jack's skeleton staring right at me. Where there had once been two skeletons, now there was only one. I gasped loudly and stumbled backward, smacking right into Jack's chest. He wrapped his arms around me to steady me.

"Are you alright?" He took a step back, but let his hands linger on my arms for a good five seconds or so. His gazed was fixed on the skeleton when I glanced up at him.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." I ran a hand through my hair, pacing back and forth as he began to ramble off his thoughts about his dead self. He began to search his own clothes and I began to feel sick, my hands beginning to get shaky. I glanced over at him against, bracing myself against the side of the cave, feeling like I was hiding. "What are you doing?"

"I found something." He pulled a pouch out of his skeleton's pocket, examining the outside of it. I vaguely remembered him finding it before, but I had no recollection of what he ever did with it. Apparently, he had kept it. He opened it and emptied the two stones out onto his hand.

I took a few steps forward and reached my hands out. "Can I look at them?"

"Yeah." Jack turned to place me, placing the white stone in my right hand then the black stone in my left.

I closed my hand around the white stone, but the black stone began to give my hand an odd tingling sensation. "Ow." I finally cursed and chucked the black stone at his feet, stumbling back a step. I closed my hand, clutching it to my chest. "It was really hot!" I defended myself when I noticed his questioning look.

"It's a rock, Kate." He knelt down and picked up the stone, slipping it in his pocket. "Give me your hand. I'll show you it wasn't hot." He gently took my and uncurled my fingers. I almost shared in his shock as we stared at the bright red mark that covered my skin in the place he had laid the stone.

"Hello? Anybody in there?" Locke stepped in just as I was pulling my hand away from Jack's. "Everything alright."

"Aside from a dead guy." Jack motioned toward the skeleton.

I took a few steps back again, slipping the white stone into my pocket.

"Our very own Adam." Locke walked over to the skeleton to examine it. "Guess Eve was a little bit more lucky than this guy."

I found myself hiding beside the cave wall again. Locke began to offer to stay behind to salvage the wreckage with Charlie while Jack began to suggest what a great place the caves would be to live in. I tuned them out, reaching my hand up to my neck to feel the ring before shoving my hand in my pocket to feel the stone.

When Jack began to fill water bottles, I found myself wandering over to Locke. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did." He looked serious for a moment then chuckled. "Go ahead. What is it?"

"You and the island seem to have…I don't know." I shrugged. "You seem to have some sort of connection with the island."

He smiled. "From what I've seen, so do you. That wasn't a question."

"Yeah. I know." I pulled my hand from my pocket and rubbed it up and down my arm. "What significance would pulling a black stone and a white stone out of a pouch have?"

"What does that have to do with my connection to the island?" He looked confused.

I sighed. "Never mind. It was a dumb question." I turned to leave.

"Well, when I think about it…" He stopped me. "You have a black stone and a white stone in a pouch that you can't see through. So if you pick out one, you don't know which one your going to pick. Pick out the dark stone, and you sacrifice yourself for something. Pick out the white one and you're free to go while the other person is stuck with the black one."

I hesitated. "So the person with the white one…just doesn't sacrifice himself?"

"Precisely." Locke nodded. "Unless they choose to." He smiled. "But that would be foolish."

I slipped my hand back into my pocket and wrapped my fingers around the stone again, nodding my head. "Right." I glanced at Jack as he finished filling the last of the bottles with water. "I should get going." I slid my backpack from my shoulder and made sure it was filled with full water bottles before I followed Jack back into the jungle.

The first half of the walk was filled with a comfortable silence. Jack finally turned to face me. "So what were you talking to Locke about?"

"Nothing." I looked up at him, watching as his gazed lingered on my face then on a few other parts of my body. I smirked. "You checking me out?"

He looked almost startled then returned my smirk. "What?"

"No harm in it." I grinned at him, but felt a bit self-conscious.

"Trust me," Jack replied. "If I was checking you out…"

"I'd know it," I cut him off. I nodded my head, my grin not fading. "I know that you were checking me out." I didn't wait for him to try and deny it before I changed the subject. "Still thinking about moving to the caves?" I knew he was.

"You think it's a bad idea?" He looked like he was trying to get me to agree with him that his idea was okay.

"No, no, it makes sense," I assured him. "I think it's a great idea."

"But?" He motioned with his hand for me to go on.

"But I don't think I'll be joining you." I forced a smile then faced ahead, walking a few paces in front of him. As soon as we passed Sayid in the jungle, Jack stopped to talk to him and I kept walking. I sat down a few feet from the ocean, using the next hour or two to weigh my options when it came to staying at the beach or moving to the caves. At least that's what I convinced myself I was doing. In reality, I was allowing my thoughts to drift back to Aaron again. I found myself thinking about the pregnancy test lying in my tent and before I knew what I was doing, I found myself wandering in that direction.

It took a good ten minutes for me to decide whether or not to pick it up. I left my shelter, closely examining the box and trying to figure out how accurate it was.

"So what'd'you think about this whole moving to the caves, Freckles?"

I hid the test behind my back, clutching it so tightly I could feel dents forming in the cardboard box. "I think it's a good idea. You staying on the beach?"

"And miss partying in cave town with all the cavemen?" Sawyer asked sarcastically. "Hell, yeah, I'm staying at the beach. I'm keeping my eye out for the damn rescue boat."

"Right." I nodded my head. "I think I'm going to mo-…"

"So 'bout that favor you owe me. I know what I want."

I paused, narrowing my eyes at him. "And what would that be?"

"Good luck living here on the beach, Freckles." He walked off.

I stared at him in shock. The pregnancy text box was now officially destroyed by my angry grip. I walked off into the jungle.

Peeing on a stick in the jungle was nowhere near as easy as doing it in the bathroom. That and the following three minutes were the longest moments of my entire life. I sat on the beach, just staring in silence at the test in my hand. When Jack approached, I dropped it on the ground and stomped on it with my foot to hide it in the sand.

"Hey," he said softly, stopping beside me. "It's almost time to go."

The dread from the test had almost drowned out the dread of my answer. "I don't want to be Eve." The white stone felt like it was burning a hole in my pocket. Fortunately, unlike the black stone would have, I knew it wasn't.

"No one's asking you to." His hand landed gently on my shoulder.

I shrugged it away, knowing I was probably confusing the hell out of him with my mixed signals. All the while, I was reminding myself to punch Sawyer in his pretty face. I kept my mouth shut, narrowing my eyes as I stared out at the ocean.

"If you need me, you know where to find me."

I listened as his footsteps got further and further away. "You know where to find me too," I mumbled under my breath. I pulled the test out from underneath my foot and took one last glance at the little pink plus that confirmed my greatest fear. Crying out, I threw it as hard as I could into the ocean then leaned forward and buried my face in my hands.


	8. The Moth

**Temporarilymisplaced** - Yeah. She should have. But where's the drama in that? x]  
**Lostcandy** - I'm glad you liked the cave scene. And don't worry...the test might be making a reappearance. LOST: Guest starring - Kate's Pregnancy Test. xP  
**Famous4it** - Oh wow. Sounds awesome. Hope you have fun there. Can't wait for you to get back tho! I'm glad you like reviewing, 'cause I really value your comments. ^-^  
**Northern Wolf** - Here's your next update. Fortunately, I don't think Jack was trying to be selfish by setting off the bomb. Kate'll kill him before he does it this time. x]  
**Boo2ubam** - I hope you have lots of fun. I'll miss you and your reviews while you're gone.  
**Jess** - And what certain S1 scene would that be? Honestly, I'm not sure when the ring will make another important appearance, but I'd like your input about when it should, if you don't mind! =] I have many many plans for the Jaby. I already have gender and name picked out. I just hope people stick around for awhile...bc it will be awhile. I plan on going thru S1 - S5 before I go off really on my own with events. Unless I get some great idea, of course.  
I've been wondering this for awhile but been too lazy to look it up. What does OTP stand for? -blush- Haha.  
**Anon** - It couldn't possibly be Jate w/out a happy ending. =DDD Happiness is just kinda...far in the future for them.

**Sorry this chapter is very short and light. If it helps, I'm like...spinning with excitement over the next chapter! Prepare yourselves. Haha. Should be up tomorrow sometime. =]**

* * *

"Back for your things?" I wandered over to Jack's old shelter on the beach, watching as he gathered his belongings. "I could…help you carry things if you want me to."

"I got it." He was stuffing as much as he could into his backpack and it looked ready to explode open. "Thanks for the offer though."

I hesitated. "Are you mad at me?"

There was a moment of silence that caused my heart to twist in fear. "No," he answered finally. "Kate, I'm…I just don't understand why you won't come with me. Us."

My shoes suddenly became more interesting to look at than his face. "Jack, I don't want to play house." Again, I thought.

"Right." He nodded his head and stood. "I'd just feel better if you were at the caves. You aren't still sick, are you?"

I glanced up, watching him swing his backpack over one of his shoulders. "No." Technically, it wasn't a lie. "I'm fine." Now that was a lie. "Can I tell you something?" My breath hitched in my throat and I began shifting from one foot to the other, staring past him.

"Sure." He nodded his head. "You can tell me anything."

"After you left to go to the caves," I started. "I…I found out..."

"Well, howdy, Doc." Sawyer dropped a suitcase in front of Jack's shelter and grinned. "Freckles." He winked.

"…that Sawyer was moving into your shelter," I finished with a mumble. Well, so much for that. I shot Sawyer a look, but he didn't seem to care. Why would he?

"That's alright," Jack answered. "Not like I'll be staying here anymore. I'll talk to you later."

I turned and watched him walk off then glared at Sawyer. "You are the biggest ass I have ever met." That was a lie too, but it felt good to say.

"Kate!" Sayid came jogging up to me, more of his devices in hand. "I think I may have got it working. Could you give us a hand?"

I glanced at him. "Actually, I already have things to do. But I'm sure Sawyer would love to help."

"I'd love to do what?" Sawyer replied, raising his eyebrows. "As much as I enjoy thinking I'm doing good for humanity, I don't plan on blowing up the island in an act of terrorism with the same guy who crashed our plane."

I crossed my arms. "It must be exhausting."

"What's that?" Sawyer replied.

"Living like a parasite," I answered. "Always taking and never giving."

He smirked. "Well, you got me pegged, don't ya?"

"Do what Sayid asks you to." I turned to Sayid. "I'm really sorry." He nodded his head and I walked off, making my way over to Michael, catching him just before he stepped into the jungle. "Hey!"

He turned, placing his hand on Walt's shoulder to stop him from walking. "Hey. What's up?"

"I heard you're into construction." I smiled when he nodded, but didn't wait for him to start explaining. "The one cave looked a little unsteady. I was hoping you could check all the caves out before anyone really moves in."

"Yeah. Sure." He paused as I began to walk off. "Hey! How'd you know I was into construction?"

"Thanks, Michael!" I called back to him, hurrying back down the beach.

----------

"Do you think the test could have been wrong? Who knows how long it's been in that cupboard." I sat on the couch in the hatch, bouncing Charlie on my legs. I found myself craving to be around him, and fortunately, Penny didn't seem to mind. She actually seemed a bit glad for the break.

"Why is it such a tragedy? Look how much you love Charlie. You obviously were an excellent mother to Aaron." She leaned against the arm on the opposite end of the couch from me.

I cringed at Aaron's name. "The baby belongs to Jack," I answered. "That's the tragedy. How am I supposed to tell him? 'I know you haven't known me very long and we never had sex, but I'm pregnant with your baby. Oh, how did that happen? We really had sex in your future which would technically be my past.' That'll go over real well."

"Don't tell him then." Penny shook her head. "If you want to get technical…"

"I am being technical. This baby is technically Jack's kid. What if something goes wrong? Who knows what effects time travel could have on it." I rubbed my forehead then moved Charlie off my lap and sat him on the couch between us.

"I really don't know what to tell you, Kate." By the look on her face, I could tell she felt sorry for me. "Is there anything Desmond or I could do for you?"

I sighed and shook my head, getting to my feet. "I just want to go home with Jack and Aaron. I'm going to start heading back to the beach now. I don't want people to keep wondering where I am. They're bound to get suspicious."

"Alright." Penny scooped up Charlie then stood and patted me on the shoulder. "Be careful."

"I will."

----------

"So how are things going for you?"

I spun around, nearly tripping over a tree root. "Jesus! You scared me!" I placed my hand on my chest, coming face to face with Jacob.

"I wouldn't exactly compare myself to Jesus, but whatever you feel comfortable calling me, Eve," He said with a smirk, leaning against a tree.

I pointed a finger at him. "First of all, my name is Kate. You want to say it with me? Kate."

"I think I'll stick to Eve. If that's first of all, what's second?" Jacob took a few steps away from the tree, smiling at me.

I frowned and looked down. "I've been thinking."

"Oh? About the baby?"

I glanced up quickly, wondering how he knew. "Well about that. But also about Jack's body in the cave." I paused and scratched my arm. "You said the island was a place for second chances. So if that was Jack's body in the cave and when I was here before we found two bodies, whose bodies were those?"

"Second chances." He sighed exasperatedly. "Third chances. What difference does it make?"

"Third chances?" If I heard right, I must have really been a screw up to have to be going through this a third time. "Why don't I remember the time before that?"

"Does Jack remember the time before this?"

"So, I died too the first time?" That was just great. Not.

"Spot on." Jacob smiled again. "I was just checking up on you." He walked away.

"Hey! Hey, wait! I have more questions for you!" He vanished, but I kept yelling. "Jacob!"

"Who the hell is Jacob?"

I jumped and spun around again to be facing Sawyer. "What is with you people?!" I settled down. "He was on the plane," I lied.

Sawyer snorted. "Jack? Jacob?" He paused. "Would it help if I told you my name was James?" He grinned that smile that only he could do, his dimples drawing me in.

I cracked up for a few seconds. "No," I replied, shaking my head, trying to hold back more laughter. "No, I don't think so." I slapped his arm. "Let's get back to the beach."


	9. Confidence Man

**Happy Tuesday** - Glad you like my Jacob. I love Jacob in the show. More Jacob, I say! Also thrilled you like how I write.  
**KK6916** - At least the Jate balances out the Skate for you. Thanks for reviewing!  
**Jess** - I love Sawyer and how he always seems to get in the way at the worst times. It really works when I need a quick subject change. Haha. I don't like Skate either...but I do like Sawyer/Kate friendship.  
Desmond has a very simple purpose in my fic. Someone needs to be in the hatch to push the button...and who better than Desmond?  
Ah yeah. Woulda been a cool scene to write, but right now I can't really see Jack flipping out about the ring. And I can't see Kate being uncareful and letting anyone else see it at the moment.  
Haha. Oh yes! Little Jaby Jesus! No. xD I thought about using a Biblical name, but I couldn't find one to fit this kid. I've written them before in RPs and I've decided to use their original name...'cause the meaning just fits their personality oh so well.  
OTP = One True Pairing. -facepalm- I shoulda just pieces two and two together. Lol.  
**Boo2ubam** - Just remember...just because someone died on LOST doesn't mean they're dead. =]  
**Temporarilymisplaced** - Ah...but their disfunctional-ness is great.  
**Pavement Chaser** - I'm really glad you like it! Thanks for reviewing!  
**Anon - **You just made the little review notes. You reviewed just as I was typing these. Glad I refreshed the other page! I'm happy you like how I'm doing things.

**Just a few notes here:  
1. Yeah...I do update really fast. But as I said, it's bc I'm going to camp soon and I really want to leave off in a place I know I'll want to continue when I get back. I hope to get to at least near the end of S1. Once I get back, don't expect replies to be so frequent 'cause I'll be getting ready for college and it'll be crazyyy.  
2. About the Skate in my fic. I can garauntee the ending will be Jate...but I can't promise the entire fic will be. So, I hope you can get through the Skate moments I have in store.  
3. Timing is off for something in this chapter. It's something extremely minor, but I _know _someone will end up figuring it out. If you don't see it, don't look for it. If you do see it, don't worry about it. It's really nothing too big. I just wanted it that way bc it fit. x]  
4. I'm not so sure you'll love this chapter as much as I do...but here it is! Enjoy.**

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I had a feeling. I recalled being back home, watching a rerun of Grey's Anatomy with Jack after we had put Aaron to bed. He said the show was stupid and hospitals were never like that, but we watched it anyway due to lack of anything better to do. I remembered the episode because it reminded me of how I had been feeling since I woke up. In the show, the slutty blond doctor had woke up with a feeling and didn't want to get out of bed. She said she thought she might die that day. I couldn't remember much, but I knew a bomb exploded in the ER. I had a feeling like I might die.

Like the serious, foreign woman had dragged the slutty blond doctor out of bed, so had Sawyer done the same. Only, he resembled the slutty doctor more than he did the serious, foreign one. He didn't use quite as much force though, standing out side my shelter instead of coming in and making me get up. Apparently, someone needed to get some food that wasn't meat for everyone. Fortunately for me -not-, I was the only one pretty decent at climbing trees.

I walked across the beach, hauling bananas and acting visibly proud of my find. I pretended not to know that I knew exactly where to find them. Some clothing in the distance caught my eye and I strode up to it, glancing down at the outfit and the book Watership Down. Closing my eyes, I groaned and shook my head. Leave it to me to wind up in positions like this even though I should have had some clue this was going to happen. Maybe this was why I had the feeling. I thought about it then quickly changed my mind. Seeing Sawyer naked was nowhere near death.

"Hell of a book!" Sawyer commented, stepping out of the ocean. "It's about bunnies."

I glanced at him, unable to help but let my eyes wander up and down his body. Not only was Sawyer hott, but he was also naked in front of me, so I told myself it wasn't my fault for checking him out; it was his own. "Must be cold without your trunks."

"You bet," he answered. "How about you come a little closer and warm me up?"

I laughed. "In your dreams, James." I tossed a banana on his clothes then walked off to go see what I was supposed to do with the rest of them.

"I saw you checking me out!" He called after me.

I glanced over my shoulder. "I was comparing you to the bananas! They're a lot bigger!" I took off running as he playfully darted after me, but he didn't get very far before he apparently realized he was still naked and had to go back for his clothes.

-----------

I left the food with a few people on the beach, making them promise to ration it out before I made my way back over to where Sawyer was. I knew I was willingly putting myself into dangerous territory with him, but I was confident in myself that I could handle it. I would keep my clothes on and my legs tightly closed when he was around. I wondered if I should do away with my lips too. He wasn't in his spot when I got there and his stuff was gone. I glanced out into the ocean one more time to make sure he hadn't ventured back out, a tad disappointed when I didn't see him.

The beach seemed lonely with Jack at the caves. I gathered my courage and headed that way. Eventually, I was going to have to tell him that I was pregnant. I wouldn't have to tell him it was his kid, but he was going to get suspicious when my stomach started suddenly growing. The jungle was eerily quiet and it sent chills up and down my spine. Maybe the feeling was because Sawyer wasn't going to interrupt me this time as I explained my issue to Jack.

I let myself into Jack's cave, pausing in the entryway. He was surrounded by all his doctor stuff, fixing up some scrapes on Boone. It looked like Sayid had been injured too. "What happened?" I asked, glancing over at Boone for an answer.

He narrowed his eyes and answered with one word. "Sawyer."

Of course. I rubbed my forehead, tuning out as Boone began to explain to Jack that Sawyer just randomly jumped him. I didn't tune back in until I heard the word 'asthma'. My feeling intensified exceedingly and I found myself being the one who was struggling to breathe. "Maybe you shouldn't accuse…"

"He has stuff that was in my luggage!" Boone practically exploded. "You're sticking up for that jerk?"

"I thought it was live together, die alone," I spat, crossing my arms. "Or does that only include the people you want it to?"

"Guys," Jack interrupted, glancing between the two of us before turning to me. "Is there something you wanted, Kate?"

"I thought since you wanted me to move in here, I'd be welcome anytime." I huffed. "Guess I was wrong."

"Kate!" Jack called after me as I walked away.

I must have searched for Sawyer for at least thirty minutes. I found him back on the beach, but Jack had already caught up with him. I could see the two of them arguing from the distance and could make out the sound of their harsh voices. "Hey!" I called jogging over. "What is going on here?" Jack walked away and I followed him.

"I'm going to kill him," he stated, running a hand over his hair.

My breath was catching in my chest, but I didn't let it show. "That won't get you what you want," I informed him.

"Maybe not," he answered. "But it'll feel good."

I narrowed my eyes at him and walked in front of him then stopped and turned to look at him. "So what's stopping you from killing him? Huh?"

"We're not savages, Kate. Not yet." He attempted to step around me, but I stopped him.

"He doesn't have the inhalers, Jack. I have a connection with him, okay? I know he doesn't have them. Whatever he found the belonged to Boone, it washed up on shore!"

"I can't believe you actually believe that guy." He stepped around me again and walked off.

I was the one that couldn't believe him. I wondered where him not trusting me had started and now I realized it had been there the entire time we knew each other. I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked back to the beach again, kicking hard at the sand once I got there.

"Ya look like ya just lost your best friend, Sweet Cheeks." Sawyer drank the last few sips from his water bottle then placed the cap back on it.

I forced a smile. "You're going to have to find a way to convince them you don't have those inhalers, Sawyer. Everyone is pretty damn angry at you."

"I ain't worried about those yahoos being pissed off at me. If they got nothing better to do with their time, let the island drama being." He waved his hands in the air then smiled. "It'll be like a twisted version of survivor. Who'd'ya think'll win?"

"It's half the island against one, Sawyer. I'm not placing any bets on your end." I leaned against his shelter.

"Aw. You ain't on my side?" He grabbed another empty water bottle and nodded at me. "You coming or ya just gonna stand there all day?"

"Where are you going?" He didn't answer me as he began to walk across the beach and toward the tree line. I looked at the empty bottles in his hand, feeling panic surge through me. "You're not going to the caves are you?" I hurried after him. "I don't think that's such a good idea with them so mad at you?"

"And dehydrating is a better one? Don't get your panties in a bunch. I've handled worse than whatever those morons can throw at me."

I ran a hand through my hair and followed him. "Right," I whispered, shaking my head. I stuck by his side the entire trip, glancing every which way. I could feel my stomach rolling from being so nervous and intent on this being one thing I managed to stop. Whatever this led up to, it could happen a different way. I could find another reason for Sayid to run off, if that was significant.

Sawyer stopped by the stream, uncapping the bottles. "Here." He tossed me the caps, which I managed to catch. He dripped both bottles in the running water at the same time, filling them up.

The caps fell to the ground as Jack approached. "Jack," I started, but he ignored me.

"Give me the inhalers now." He came right up behind Sawyer.

Sawyer stood up straight and turned around. "I don't even get a pretty please with sugar on top?"

Jack punched him.

"Jack!" I cried out, watching Sawyer's bottles hit the ground and the water trickle to the floor. I glanced up, staring horrified at Jack.

"Well, it's about time, Cowboy," Sawyer spat. "Been telling ya since day one, we're in the wild. Didn't think you had it in you."

Jack slugged him again.

"Stop it!" I yelled angrily, attracting the attention of some of the other cave-dwellers. No one stepped up to help.

"That all you got?" Sawyer asked Jack, raising his fist to punch him back.

Sayid approached him from behind.

I stood there, helplessly lost in my thoughts. Before, I recalled him being knocked out on the beach. I needed to get him to the beach. I needed the time I used to have back so I could think of some sort of solution.

Before Sawyer could introduce his fist to Jack, Sayid knocked Sawyer over the head. The southerner collapsed to the ground.

"What are you doing?!" I was clearly distraught, but neither Jack nor Sayid seemed to even notice me. "Jack!" I jumped in front of him as they began to drag Sawyer across the ground. "Jack, listen to me," I pleaded. "He doesn't have the medicine. He doesn't. I know he doesn't. Trust me," I found myself begging again. "Just this once, Jack, trust me. Please, trust me. Trust me." I sounded like a broken record, tears stinging my eyes.

"This was Sawyer's choice," Jack answered. "Not mine."

"Jack, if you do this…" Jack and Sayid stepped around me, dragging my friend to be tortured. I went after them, taking long strides in order to keep up. I couldn't beg anymore, unable to find my voice.

They tied him to a tree, waking him up and putting him through hell for what seemed like forever. I stood a few feet back, leaning against a tree as I watched. Tears were pouring down my face and I caught myself sobbing several times, uncaring that I was nearly hysterical in front of the three of them. They didn't seem to even know I was there anyway.

It wasn't until Sayid began screaming at Sawyer that Jack looked over at me. His gaze seemed to soften and I stared at him pleadingly, arms wrapped around myself for whatever comfort I could get. "Sayid, I think you're taking it too far," he stated. "Sayid!" Sayid continued to yell at Sawyer and shove bamboo up the man's fingernails. "Kate, stop looking," Jack stated, walking over to me. "Go back to the beach."

"How can I go back to the beach when you're trying to kill my friend when he can't even help you?!" I cried. I continued to stare at Sawyer, but I soon found myself wrapped in Jack's arms, his hand pressing my head against his shoulder so I couldn't see anymore. He was asking Sayid to stop and I wondered if it was because he actually believed me or he simply felt sorry for me.

"The only person I'll tell is Kate," Sawyer finally spat.

I pulled away from Jack, turning the face him. "No you won't," I replied. "Because we both know you never took the inhalers."

"Well the girl does have a point." Sawyer nodded his head. He began to loosen the bonds that held him to the tree and I knelt down to help him. "Only medical crap I found was a pregnancy test this morning while I was swimming. And that was already used. Congratulations, whoever's expecting, People!" He yelled.

I pressed my hands to my eyes.

"He's lying," Sayid stated. "He is a liar." He pulled a knife from his pocket, bringing it down to use it as a threat against Sawyer. I moved in attempt to get up and got in the way and before I knew it, the blade went through my arm.

I was no longer crying. Instead, I was just staring wide-eyed at the blood that was pouring from the wound. Fortunately, it wasn't spurting out as it had been when Sawyer had been stabbed. I had forgotten about the knife and now I really wished I had remembered. My lips began to quiver again and with a shaking hand, I moved to grab the handle.

Jack was instantly in front of me, grabbing my hand to stop me from touching it. "Don't pull it out, Kate. Not yet. We need to get back to the caves." He slid his arm under me to help me up, but my legs felt like jell-o. "Kate, you need to stand." Before I could put anymore strength into lifting myself up though, his arms were under me and lifting me up bridal style.

"I had a feeling," I whispered, watching Sawyer undo the rest of the rope until he was out of sight as Jack carried me toward the caves.

"A feeling?" he inquired. "What kind of feeling?"

"Like I might die today," I answered. "Like that slutty blond doctor on…"

"On Grey's Anatomy?" He finished then shook his head. "Kate, do you actually watch that awful show? You realize it's nothing like being in a real hospital." He sat me down in his cave, grabbing a piece of cloth before placing a hand on the handle of the knife. "In a real hospital…"

I tuned him out (as he rambled on about how different the two were) and muffled my cry against my good arm as the knife was yanked from my arm then pressure was applied. I sniffled a few times and closed my eyes. "I only watched it once," I defended, glancing at me as if he was accusing me of something awful. "It was with a guy I really liked."

Jack glanced at me and raised his eyebrows then nodded. "Lucky guy."

"He turned out to be a real jerk," I answered.

"I'm sorry." He cleaned my wound then wrapped a bandage around it. "Want me to kick his ass for you when we get off this rock?"

I laughed quietly and shook my head. "That's okay. I can do it myself."

Sayid walked slowly into the cave and knelt down in front of me, taking my hand in his. "I am terribly sorry for what I did to you. I did not mean to stab anybody with that knife."

"I forgive you, Sayid," I replied, swallowing. "I know you didn't mean it."

"I'm leaving," Sayid said. "I don't know for how long."

"Sayid," I tried to protest. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it gently then stood and walked off. I glanced over at Jack, then looked down. "Can I ask you something?"

"If it's if I like Grey's Anatomy, I'm going to have to say no." He smiled then nodded. "Anything."

"Think you could put up with a roommate for awhile?" I couldn't put away all the anger; especially the rage I felt right then about today. There was a lot of work that needed done between the two of us and it wasn't going to happen with me on the beach.

"I don't know." His answer filled me with humiliation and dread until I realized he was kidding. "I guess as long as you keep your half of the cave tidy and don't drag in any pet dinosaurs or anything. Now it's my turn to tell you something."

I eased myself back against the wall of the cave. "Anything," I repeated him.

"Congratulations on the baby."


	10. Solitary

**Ilayda** - I used to like Skate near the end of S1. Then I realized it was just bc I really liked Sawyer. So now I ship Jack/Kate and Sawyer/Myself. Haha.  
**Leytonrox94** - He already knows. =]  
**ANN763** - Thanks for reviewing. ^-^  
**Northern Wolf** - Ooh. Med course in college. =D Are you going to be a doctor? I'm going to be an Occupational Therapist...perhaps minoring in Psych.  
**Pavement Chaser** - Glad you liked how I chose to twist it. =]  
**Jess** - I'm glad you liked last chapter. Somehow, I don't think this chapter will manage to outdo it, but hopefully, you'll still enjoy.  
**Amy** - Glad you like it.  
**Temporarilymisplaced** - Jack is just all knowing. Lol. No. He figured it out with his special doctor skills.  
**Boo2ubam** - What's wrong with Sydney? -has never been there-

**This chapter is kinda blah. In my defense, there's just not that much to do with the episode and the dog will not let me alone. Which is also why my comments to you guys are so short. She just keeps climbing all over me!  
Anyway. You all seem to live in (or at least be visiting) awesome places. That's pretty cool. It makes where I am seem very boring. Haha.  
Enjoy!**

**------------------------------------------**

"So were you going to tell me you were pregnant or were you just going to wait until you went into labor and needed someone to deliver the baby?" Jack questioned.

"So you don't watch Grey's Anatomy. Do you watch House?" I flinched as he pulled the bandage off my arm, glancing around so I didn't look at the stab wound. "I find the cases on House are much more…"

"Stop changing the subject, Kate. I'm letting you stay here in the caves with me. I at least deserve to know some of what is going on with you." He sighed and he measured the amount of peroxide he had left, dumping a small about on my arm.

I cringed at the momentary stinging sensation. "I think you would have noticed before I went into labor," I commented. "You probably would have figured something was up when I started looking like a hippo and couldn't even see my feet when I looked down anymore." He raised his eyebrows and I took that as a sign he wasn't amused. "Actually, I was going to tell you yesterday. I just found out, Jack." My voice became harsh. "I was still processing it myself! I came to the caves to tell you, but you were too busy with Boone and Sayid plotting your damn…"

"What did I ever do to you, Kate?" Jack placed a new bandage on my arm then rinsed his hands off with water from a water bottle.

"Excuse me?" My brows furrowed in confusion. "I'm not sure what you…" My voice trailed off and I waited for further explanation.

"It's just, ever since we got here, some days you support me and other days you act like I'm ruining the lives of everyone around me, more specifically your life." He got to his feet.

"Well when you start shoving splinters under my friends' fingernails, I don't exactly…"

"I understand that, Kate," he cut me off. He began to put away his things. "I understand that you're mad at me for allowing Sayid to torture Sawyer. I also agree with you. You have every right to be mad at me for that." He straightened up and turned around to face me. "But that's not all you're mad about. You've been pissed at me on and off ever since we crashed here."

I fell silent at that, avoiding his gaze. He sat down beside me and I snuck a glance as he rubbed his eyes. "You didn't sleep last night," I commented finally. "Every time I woke up, you were awake too."

"I have more important things to do than sleep," he answered.

"Sleep is important, Jack," I reminded him. "Don't overwork yourself." I stood and took the hair-tie off my wrist, pulling my hair up for the first time since we crashed. "I'm going on a walk to the beach. You should seriously thinking about taking a nap. Actually don't even think about it; just do it."

----------

"You really think he's not going to get suspicious, Kate?"

I dug through the medical supplies in the hatch, pulling out whatever looked like it would be of most importance. "I'm just going to say I found them lying in the jungle, probably from someone's suitcase. I doubt he's going to suspect anything."

"Do you need something to carry them in?" Penny balanced Charlie on her hip, leaning back against the wall of the hatch.

I shook my head. "He might get a bit curious if I even have a bag to carry all this in. Maybe I won't even tell him it came from me. Hurley is going to build a golf course and I can just sneak it into his stuff while he's golfing."

"I wish Desmond and I could join you," Penny commented. "It's getting boring down here."

"Imagine how I felt when I was down here alone." Desmond entered the storage closet. "Boring is a bloody understatement."

"Bloo-y Uner-ment," Charlie attempted to repeat him. "Bloo-y borin'!"

Penny gasped and brought her free hand to her mouth. "Desmond! I don't want the baby saying that!"

I pretended to turn by attention to my supply of peroxide to hide my amusement. I remembered the days Aaron would repeat everything he heard. Those were not days I was particularly fond of. I gathered everything and got to my feet, trying not to disturb the wound on my arm. It would be pretty ironic to be hurt by supplies that were supposed to fix me.

"Did you tell Jack about the baby?" Penny took Charlie from the room, leaving me alone with Desmond.

"He figured it out," I answered. "I didn't tell him it was his. I'm sorry, but I have to go before someone starts to wonder where I am." I started to walk away then paused. "We found some dolls back in the caves. I know Charlie is a boy, but I brought them here. There's not too many toys here and I thought he might be getting bored with what he has."

"Thanks, Kate."

I nodded my head and left.

----------

"So do you think he's going to be happy?" I took a step back and examined Jack's medical cart. When I had left it was empty, but now there was barely enough room for everything. I supplied it with various medicines for sickness and injuries along with things such as bandages, tweezers, ect.

Jacob was sitting on the bed Jack had constructed for patients. "I'm sure." He was examining his fingernails when I glanced back at him.

"So…" I could tell he didn't want to be around and honestly wondered why he was there. "There's no chance you could magically heal me?" I motioned at my arm. He shook his head and I nodded. "Didn't think so." I sat down on the cave floor. I flicked at a few tiny pebbles. "Why didn't you show up last time?" I glanced up to see him no longer in the cave. "Jacob?"

"Who's Jacob?" Jack walked into the caves, glancing at me with raised eyebrows. "How long have you been here?"

I looked up. "Just a few seconds. I was thinking about going back to the beach."

He chuckled. "And here I thought you managed to sit still longer than five minutes. How is your arm doing?"

"It kind of hurts, but it's fine." I watched as he walked over to his cart, seeming to not notice anything was different at first. It wasn't until he picked up one of the bottles that he took a step back and rubbed his chin as he stared at it.

"Kate…" He said slowly. "Where did all this stuff come from?"

"I uh…" I could have told him I found it, but another idea popped into my mind. I didn't have time to weigh my options. "It was here when I got here. You think Sawyer might have pulled it out of his stash? Maybe he's trying to make amends."

"Hm." He nodded his head. "Doesn't sound like him." He glanced at the bottle in his hands then sighed. "I have to get back to the beach. Sullivan has hives and he's convinced he's dying. I can barely even see the rash."

"Sullivan," I repeated. "I think I know who he is. The guy with glasses. Let me go take it to him. You're probably tired of him by now."

"Kate, I don't think…"

"Sometimes, you really don't think," I cut him off. I knew he was going to finish his sentence, but I simply agreed with what he already said. I grabbed the bottle from his hand and emptied out two pills before handing it back. "Get some sleep. Go have fun. Do something other than stress. I'll take care of Sullivan."

----------

"Where's the doctor?" Sullivan questioned me, shifting nervously. "The foreign lady gave me aloe. I don't think it's working. I need the doctor, not whatever medicine you're trying to give me."

I rubbed my forehead, trying to ignore the people who were beginning to gather and stare at us. "Listen," I said calmly. "It's hives. You're fine. The only thing Jack can do is give you something else to try to help relieve any discomfort. It's not going to change whether Jack is giving you the medicine or I am." I handed him the pills.

"What is this?" He asked. "What if I have some reaction to it? What if…"

"It's like Benadryl," I replied, shaking my head. "I highly doubt you're going to have a reaction to it."

"Benadryl? I can't take Benadryl. It makes me exhausted. I can't be exhausted. What if rescue comes and I'm asleep and no one bothers to tell me?" He glanced at the pills in his hand.

"I said it's like Benadryl, not that it was Benadryl." I glanced at Boone as he approached us.

"Yeah! A golf course!" Boone called back to Shannon. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to check it out."

"Wait for me, Bonehead!" Shannon hurried after him.

Sullivan watched them in silence then glanced at me. "I'm going to find the doctor." He walked after Boone and Shannon.

"Doctor playing golf." Sawyer stopped following the group on the way to the golf course when he got to me. What's next? Cop eating a donut?"

I glanced at him and smiled. "You want to come?" I wasn't sure if he did or didn't, but I knew he chances were he was going to show up there anyway.

"I think I'll pass on that, Freckles." He smirked at me and nodded toward the group that was almost out of sight now. "Not big on crowds. And, let's face it, the crowd's not too hot on me either."

"One outcast to another, I'd think about making more of an effort," I commented. "And I think their dislike might begin to let up. I'll see you there." I followed the group, leaving him standing there in silence.

----------

"Think having a knife stuck into my arm yesterday might be a problem if I decide to play?" I approached Jack, smiling at him softly.

He chuckled. "I think it might affect your game a little bit. When did you show up?"

"A few seconds ago," I replied. "I was talking to Sawyer. I almost didn't recognize you when I got here. You're smiling."

He did his best to wipe the grin from his face. "I'll have to watch that."

I stood beside him, close enough that our shoulders brushed whenever one of us moved. We stood in a comfortable silence, watching Charlie and Hurley in their humorous attempts to golf. "So did Sullivan come to see you?"

"Yeah, he did," Jack replied. "He actually came to ask if he could play golf. Hey, it's my turn. I'll be right back." He patted my shoulder, sending what felt like electric shocks through my entire body.

Sawyer showed up in the midst of betting on Jack. I thought about going back to stand with him, but instead I turned to face Jack, waiting for him to be finished with his turn and come back.

"You want a turn?" He asked, returning with his club before he even took his own turn. "I could help you out with the hole arm problem."

I laughed. "Jack, I don't think it'll work out very well if I try to golf right now." I pretended to be reluctant as he placed his hand on my elbow and led me over to the ball. "Jack, what are you doing?"

"Here, hold the club with your good hand." He positioned it in my hand. He stood beside me, and helped me hold it with one hand. "Ready?"

"Jack, this is not going to end well." I was laughing, oblivious to everyone else around us. We swung the club together and the ball flew into the air…dropping back down to the ground about two inches away.

"Get a bloody room!" Charlie called.

Hurley looked at him. "They're already sharing a cave."

I glanced over at them with a smirk, trying to ignore as Sawyer walked away.


	11. Raised By Another I

**Northern Wolf** _-_ That's awesome. I'm in love with any kind of science...uh...minus phsyics.  
Ha. Yeah. Eventually, he's going to have to sleep...it might just be against his own will again. x]  
**Anon (Chpt 9)** - I kind of figured if anyone else found it, they'd keep it a bit hush hush and only tell Jack then maybe whisper to some others. Had to have someone who'd just yell it out. Hehe.  
**Anon (Chpt 10) - **Charlie and Hurley are so Jaters. x]  
**Lostcandy** - I hope so. I have a habit of starting things...and then just kinda dropping them. -shaaame-  
**Boo2ubam** - Well, Jacob does tend to be invisible. 3 It might be a very long time until Jack finds out he's a father. I doubt he'll think Kate is with anyone off the island since she's pretty flirty with him and Sawyer.  
Ah. Yeah. I live in a city...or sorta just outside the city. I don't like it very much. Mainly 'cause people here are kinda weird.  
**Temporarilymisplaced** - Eventually, she might tell Jack he hurt her...but I'm not sure if she'll ever tell him how unless it comes to a point where she needs to stop him from doing it again.  
**Leytonrox94** - If Jack finds out, it will definitely be straight from Kate and not an overheard conversation. =]  
**Jess** - They still have a chance of getting rescued. Haven't figured out whether or not they will leave the island though.  
**Pavement Chaser** - Glad you liked my ending. =]  
**Jate-Forever** - I'm glad you enjoyed it!  
**Ilayda** - Glad you enjoyed it!

**I decided to split this chapter into two parts. Hope you all don't mind.  
I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

**Merry Christmas in July!!! Enjoy!**

* * *

_"I never really liked the holidays."_

"_Me neither." I walked into the living room, munching on a gingerbread man that was in one hand, carrying a glass of milk in the other. "Aaron has this mad love for Rudolph though." I glanced at the sleeping toddler on my couch and smiled._

_When I was younger, we never decorated for Christmas. Wayne thought holidays were for sappy folks who actually got pleasure from spending time with their families. He informed me at an early age that Santa wasn't real - and even if he was, he only delivered coal to naughty little girls like me. That same year, he actually did put coal in a package with my name on it. I remembered being so excited when I saw my gift in the middle of the living room. _

_I had been begging for a stuffed dog I saw at the store a few weeks before. I wanted a real dog, but was so willing to settle for that toy one. It was a German Shorthaired Pointer. I could still remember exactly what it looked like. It stood a few inches high, able to stand on all four feet without falling over. It was white and covered in two shades of brown spots, except for its head, tail, a spot on its back, and a spot on its neck which were dark brown. It originally cost $9.99 but was on the sale shelf for $6.99. It came in a brown and red box shaped like a dog carrier. _

_I ripped open the paper on the package as fast as I could. The look on Wayne's face was one of immense satisfaction when I found nothing but an old, brown box filled with dirty, black rocks. Needless to say, I hid behind the chair and cried half the day, skipping out on lunch and beating myself up over being such a 'bad girl'._

_By the time Sam came to pick me up for Christmas at his house, I was a mess. I was starving from not eating, but not feeling well enough to actually eat. I was exhausted from crying and grumpy from the experience. When he asked what was wrong, all I could tell him was that I didn't get what I wanted for Christmas. I was afraid he'd be disappointed in me if he found out I deserved coal. It turned out, he became disappointed in me for a whole other reason and lectured me on how we don't always get what we want. He must have felt sorry for me though, because he took me to the store, but the toy was no longer on the shelf when we got there. _

_The years after that, I no longer got any presents from Wayne or my mom - including coal. 'Santa' would come into my room Christmas Eve nights and do wrong to my small body._

_Tonight, it looked like the real Santa exploded in my living room. Aaron insisted on everything being Rudolph themed, which meant my entire living room was covered in blinking lights. It was almost enough to give me epilepsy. A noisy train chugged its way in repeated circles around the over-sized Christmas tree. The sound of its whistle in no way drowned out Frosty the Snowman's voice from my TV though. Wrapped presents were scattered all over the place. For every present I never got, I bought two more for Aaron. _

"_Here." I finished my cookie and took a sip of my milk then handed the glass to Jack. "I'm going to move the little elf here to his room." I scooped up Aaron as gently as possible, cradling him and placing light kisses on his head as I carried him off to bed. I tucked him in with his giant stuffed whale, wishing them both pleasant dreams. Aaron had reminded me that the toy needed a goodnight too so many times that it was just habit now._

_I shut his door, leaving it open just a crack then crept back down a few of the steps. "Hey, Jack," I whispered, peering into the living room. "Turn off the TV. I'll be down in a second. Could you eat the rest of those cookies he set out for Santa? I've already had like ten of them. My limit was five." I patted my stomach for emphasis then hurried back up the steps and into my bedroom._

_Dropping to my knees, I dug through all the junk I always managed to fit under my bed. It was a good minute or two before I pulled out a yellow plastic bag. Exactly what I was looking for. After a quick glance out the bedroom door and into the hall, I tugged my shirt over my head, followed by my bra, pants, and underwear. I pulled my new clothing out of the bag and eyed it wearily. I met a woman also eyeing it at the store and she almost forced me to buy it, telling me I would look absolutely gorgeous to whoever I was going home to._

_The top was red and lace, see-through except at the breasts. The straps were so thin, they were almost non-existent. Around the top was a thin, green lace design. Just under the breast area, a green ribbon wrapped around and tied into a small bow just off to the side. The underwear were also red and lace and had a tiny, fake piece of holly on the side. I slid the outfit on then examined myself in the mirror. My hair had been tied back because I kept somehow managing to get it caught in the Christmas lights earlier when I was fixing a broken bulb Aaron wouldn't stop complaining about. Who knew Santa wouldn't come if one of your Christmas tree bulbs stopped blinking? I pulled the hair-tie out, letting my curls fall loosely around my face. _

"_Kate, we have to do something about all these cookies!" Jack called. "I'm going to look like Santa before the night is out. I can feel my pants button coming undone!"_

_I laughed and ran my brush through my hair a few times before walking downstairs. I hit the CD player in the hall, allowing Christmas songs that were finally not kids songs drift through the house. "Hey." I stopped in the doorway of the living room, leaning against the wall in a way I hoped was more sexy than awkward._

_Jack turned to face me and choked on his milk. He looked so adorable standing there in a green sweater and blue jeans with a glass of milk in one hand and a gingerbread man with a missing head in the other. "Kate." He sounded like he was still choking as he placed what he was holding on the coffee table. "You look…" He cleared his throat, obviously shocked._

_I shifted nervously from one foot to the other. "It doesn't look right on me, does it?" My walls fell down and exposed my nervousness._

"_You look gorgeous," he finally managed to get out, crossing the room to get over to me. He pressed me against the wall, taking a moment to let his eyes wander before pressing his lips against my own. Electric sparks shot up and down my body as his tongue nudged my lips and demanded entrance. I deepened the kiss, soaking in feelings of comfort and security. He pulled away a few seconds later, sliding his hands down my arms so lightly it gave me goose-bumps until he took my hands and backed toward the couch, pulling me with him._

_When he sat down, he pulled me with him and I straddled his lap. My eyes drifted shut as his warm lips brushed against mine and his hands slid under my top just at my waist. "Jack," I moaned softly against his mouth._

"_Kate," he mumbled back. His hands explored for a moment and my head tilted to the side as he placed warm, wet kisses against my neck._

"_Jack," I whimpered again, finding his name was the only thing I could get out._

"_Kate."_

"Kate!"

My eyes snapped open at the sound of my name. At the sight of Jack hovering above me with worry etched on his face, I was sure my cheeks went as red as my top had been in my memory/dream. "What?!" I snapped.

"You were moaning my name," he answered, looking confused. "You sounded like you were hurt or something. Is your arm okay?"

"It's fine." I heaved a sigh and pushed him away from me with my good arm as I sat up. I tried to think up a good excuse, because he was still staring at me as if he was waiting for an explanation. "I was just…"

A scream broke the moment and I collapsed back down onto my back out of relief as Jack exited the cave. "Thank you, Claire," I muttered under my breath. My eyes drifted shut for a few moments longer before I opened them again and quickly sat up. Claire. I scrambled to my feet and followed the sound of commotion out of the cave. When I got there, Charlie was ushering everyone away and assuring them everything was fine.

"Jack, are you sure it's okay to leave her alone?" I asked, following him as he passed me on his way back to our cave. "I mean, she was pretty hysterical."

"She was just having a nightmare, Kate. Apparently it's a night for nightmares since I woke you up from one." He sat down on the ground, leaning back against the dirt wall.

Nightmare? I was definitely not having a nightmare, but if he wanted to think that - more power to him! It meant less worry for me. "You ever have nightmares?" I questioned, but didn't wait for him to answer. "Oh, you wouldn't know. You don't sleep. Never mind." I lied back down again, noticing for the first time that he wasn't wearing a shirt. My cheeks suddenly felt hot and I turned so my back was to him, trying to drift back off.

----------

"It'll get back to you," Jack told Claire. "I had a girlfriend once that told me I talked in my sleep."

"What did you say?" Claire asked.

"Don't know," Jack answered. "Whatever it was, she didn't like it."

I choked on the banana I was eating, earning myself a foreboding look from Jack. "It's not that." I laughed then took another bite. "I'm just wondering how that happened since your body is apparently immune to fatigue." Another unhappy look. "I'm just gonna uh…" I motioned toward my banana. "I'm just going to eat my breakfast." I smiled and continued eating. Jack did talk in his sleep, but it was never anything I could say I didn't like.

"I was thinking about helping you take water to the beach," I commented when he stood up after his discussion with Claire. "Last I checked, they were running pretty low and no one seemed to eager to make a run to the caves. We could also use some fish." I followed him toward the stream, sliding my backpack off my shoulders as we walked. "Oh, come on, Jack," I said as he ignored me. "I was just kidding with you."

"I know," he answered simply.

I thought about telling him grumpiness was a direct result of lack of sleep, but decided I was better off keeping my mouth shut about the whole sleeping deal for now. "Do you think I'm going to start wandering around in my sleep now?"

"What?" He glanced at me before kneeling down to fill up some of the bottles.

"Well, it just seems like the whole nightmare thing comes with pregnancy." I lowered my voice at the last word, not yet willing to let the others in on my secret. "You think I'm going to start walking around, screaming bloody murder?"

"I doubt it." He handed me a few bottles then began to fill his own backpack. "Vivid dreams are pretty common with pregnancy, but Claire has probably had some history of sleepwalking. You want me to baby gate our cave so you don't go getting yourself into any trouble in the middle of the night?"

I smirked and rolled my eyes. "So you can tease me, but if I try to tease you, you get all petulant."

His jaw dropped. "I am not petulant, Kate." He stood and put his backpack on his back.

"Cantankerous then?" I attempted, grinning ear to ear as I walked with him toward the beach. "Or how about pugnacious? No, because you're not…"

"What are you, a walking thesaurus today?" he questioned, arching a brow. "I am not any of those things or any synonym for them you could possible think of." He paused. "Here's one for you. I'm very affable."

I laughed. "Sometimes," I agreed. "But I still think petulant describes you too."

He snorted and smirked. "Of course you do."

I eyed the look on his face. "What do you mean, of course I do?" He didn't answer. "Jack?" I tried to walk in front of him and look at him. "Jack?"

"I'm just saying that in some past life of yours, I must have committed some heinous crime or something by how livid you get whenever I do something you don't like. It just makes sense that you would think I'm petulant, because part of you already hates me. Kate?" I walked away. "Kate? I was kidding! This is exactly what I mean though!"

----------

I delivered water to those at the beach then removed my shoes and stood by the ocean. Sinking. It almost seemed childish to do these days, but it brought a feeling of solace that the only other place I could find was from Jack. It almost made me dizzy now that I was pregnant and I felt a bit sick, but I stared out at the endless blue water anyway, losing myself in thought.

"Well this is a first." Jack stopped beside me. "You standing still in the middle of the day doing nothing. Amazing."

I glanced over at him, my anger melting away. "I'm doing something," I replied in a bit of a haughty tone.

"Yeah?" He questioned, chuckling. "What's that?"

"I'm sinking," I answered. "Water goes out, takes the sand with it, and you sink." I paused and hesitated. "I used to do it with my mom when I was a kid." My fading smile made him look suddenly uncomfortable and he glanced away. I looked down at my feet.

"Ah, new plan." I could tell he was trying to liven things up again. "You're just going to sink your way right off the island. Sayid would be proud."

I laughed and nodded. "Well, someone has to be thinking up ways to get off this island until he gets back."

He reached over and touched the fabric of my shirt, rubbing the material between his thumb and pointer finger. I swatted him away and raised my eyebrows. "Jack, what are you doing?"

"How are you keeping your clothes so soft?" He questioned. "They don't even look stiff. The seawater is taking a toll on everything I wear. You stashing laundry detergent somewhere?" he teased

I froze for a fraction of a second. "Maybe it's the fabric," I suggested.

"Hm." He nodded his head after what seemed like he was considering that answer. "Could be."

"If you plan on just standing here, you might as well sink with me." I motioned toward his shoes. "Take those off."

"I don't think it's a good idea." He smirked and shook his head. "I got my share of fun from golfing."

"Come on, Jack." I looked at him sweetly. "Just try it for a few seconds."

"Fine." He sighed and took a few steps back, slipping off his shoes and socks and placing them in the sand. "Like this?" He walked out a few inches in front of me and stood there, staring straight ahead.

A nice sized wave flooded forward, reaching almost to my knees. I stumbled back and remained standing, while Jack tumbled backward, choking on water and trying to catch his shoes as they drifted away. He got to his feet, soaked and holding a shoe in each hand with one sock missing. I muffled a giggle and shook my head. "No, not like that."


	12. Raised By Another II

**Northern Wolf** - Physics totally sucks. I sat there most classes all, "Pretend you're Daniel. If you were Daniel, you'd get this stuff. Your book even says Faraday in it! Pretend you're Daniel." Well...that failed. Haha.  
**Anon** - Hey. Don't dis falling while sinking. Lol. -pets Jack- The first time I ever tried to sink, I fell over and took my brother down with me. -epicfail- xP  
**Jess** - I'm glad you like the flashbacks. I love thinking about what life might have been for them off the island. ^-^  
**Lostcandy** - Haha. Maybe I should be all, "You do my Physics or I won't update my fanfiction." Kiiiidding. x]  
**Temporarilymisplaced** - Thanks for reviewing! =D  
**Boo2ubam** - I think she might have got all flustered if Claire hadn't screamed. Lol. I'll miss you while you're away! Have fun. =]

**Okay. So more excuses. Today kinda...sucked, to put it simply. I had major writers block due to the day being blah. I forced myself through this chapter. It was supposed to be longer. The next one should be more exciting.**

* * *

"So no more calling out my name in the middle of the night tonight, right?" Jack spread out his blanket, lying down on his side.

My cheeks became red again and I shot him a glare. "Haha. Funny." I leaned back against the cave wall, slouching over slightly. I was tired, but trying to convince myself to stay away. I was attempting to keep my days straight and figure out what happened when. From what I recalled, Claire had nightmares around the time Ethan became a known enemy. I just didn't know how many she had before he tried to take her. I silently cursed myself for not keeping an eye out for him. Sleeping in the caves was beginning to become a bit of a distraction because now Jack was constantly on my mind.

"You okay?" Jack questioned.

"What?" I looked over at him. "Oh. Yeah. I'm fine. Go to sleep." I watching as he shut his eyes again then moved to lie down myself. I'd have chances during the day to get it all sorted out. Trying to get comfortable, I watched Jack. After awhile, he looked like he was asleep and I sighed. Finally able to relax now that I wasn't worried about him, my eyes drifted shut.

"Somebody's trying to hurt me! Please, help me!" It was Claire.

My eyes snapped open and I looked over at Jack who was also waking up. Pressing my hands to my eyes, I found myself getting frustrated with her. So much drama for this baby and then in the end she ends up dumping him off in the jungle anyway. I focused on calming myself down as Jack rushed out of the cave.

I listened to their muffled voices through the cave wall as I breathed deeply through my nose. I didn't want to repeat any of this. I wanted to go home and never come back to the island. I knew people were beginning to search the perimeter of the caves and after several moments I heard Hurley make the suggestion someone start a census.

Jack stepped into the cave and dropped heavily to his bed, rubbing his face with his hands. "She had another nightmare," he stated, shaking his head. "Thought someone was attacking her."

"What if it wasn't a nightmare?" I sat up a little straighter. "What if somebody really did try to hurt her?"

"No one is trying to hurt anyone," Jack answered. "It was just a dream."

"There's this guy Ethan that's been really creeping me out. What if…'

"Kate, relax, we're safe here," he replied. "From people at least."

"Right." I turned away from him after he settled to sleep again, placing my head in my hands.

----------

I stood on the beach, focused mainly on keeping my breakfast down. I had followed Jack and Charlie to deliver water, but ended up just leaning against a tree along the tree line of the jungle.

"Dude, you look tired." Hurley strolled up to me, a cheery grin on his face. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah. Sure." I attempted to stand up a little straighter to look more awake. I didn't get any sleep after Claire had been attacked the night before. "What is it?"

"What's your full name?" He tapped a pen on the small notebook he was holding.

The census. "Katherine Austen," I answered, glancing away from him to watch Charlie and Jack.

"What were you doing in Sydney?" He glanced up at me after he finished writing my name.

I looked at him and smiled. "You said a question. That was two questions." I walked away, following after Jack. They turned and headed back to the caves. I kept a good distance behind them, not really feeling like getting involved in whatever conversation they were having. I was beginning to hate getting in on their speculative talks without being able to throw in the answer. Even if I was to tell them what they wanted to know, I doubted they would even believe me.

I began to go over things in my head again, stopping just before I got to the caves. Tears of frustration stung my eyes and I seriously considered just letting everything happen the way it happened last time. Jack died last time though. I turned and jogged back to the beach.

"Locke!" I called when I started getting close. "John!" I crossed through the tree line and leaned forward to catch my breath.

"Hello though." Locke came walking calmly across the beach.

I glanced at him impatiently. "I need to borrow one of your knives."

"What?" He asked.

"One of your knives," I repeated, putting emphasis on the sentence this time. "Please. It's important. I don't have time to answer questions."

"Right." He nodded his head for me to follow and began walking toward the case. "Just tell me which one you want."

"The sharpest one you have."

----------

I ran into the caves, holding the knife tightly in my hand. "Jack! Jack, we need to go find Charlie and Claire!"

As soon as he turned to look, Sayid also came limping into the cave. Jack's attention immediately turned to Sayid.

I cursed and tightened the grip on my knife. I didn't have time to convince him of anything. I heard him shouting my name as I exited the caves again, but I didn't turn around to acknowledge him.

"Claire!" I called, traveling along the path to the beach. I didn't even know if they were actually on the path. "Charlie, where are you?" My knuckles were beginning to turn white as I squeezed the knife's handle. "Hey!"

"Kate? We're over here!"

I followed the sound of Charlie's voice, bursting into the clearing they were standing in. Claire was grinning, holding Charlie's hand to her stomach. Their looks immediately turned alarmed as they saw me. "Listen. I don't have time to explain. We need to get back to the caves right now."

"Where's Jack?" Charlie asked.

"At the caves," I answered impatiently. "Where we need to go."

"Hello there."

I spun around, coming face to face with Ethan. I took a few steps back toward Charlie and Claire, intent on protecting them. Unfortunately, they were beginning to seem more frightened of me than of Ethan.

"Ethan, where's Jack?" Charlie asked, stepping around me.

I took a few steps toward Ethan, raising my knife. "I know who you are."


	13. All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues

**Temporarilymisplaced** - I don't think this chapter is quite as intense as I wanted it to be. I couldn't seem to write it right. Kate is hardcore, but remember that Ethan kicked Jack's butt. =]  
**Amy (Chpt 10)** - Unfortunately, there's more Skate to come...so don't feel too sorry for Sawyer.  
**Amy (Chpt 12)** - Yay for cliffhangers? x]  
**Leytonrox94** - Glad you enjoyed the chapter!  
**Jess** - I don't know why...but the whole Kate playing with knives comment makes this one of my favorite reviews ever. Haha. Kate could definitely become a target if she isn't careful. Her judgement isn't always the best. .  
**Anon** - I always study the shows actual events before writing the chapters. Reading the transcripts and then also sometimes watching the episode. And then studying discussions about the episode on the LF! There are sooo many situations she could get herself into. I had to decide between three main ones for this chapter. It seemed like everytime I made a decision there was 2 or more potention outcomes. ;-;  
**Lostcandy** - Isn't suspense awesome? x] She could have gone for the guns...but imagine all the time that would have taken. By the time she got to Charlie and Claire, it would have been too late and she wasn't exactly thinking far ahead enough to give herself time.  
I'll keep the whole doing my work thing in mind. ^.-  
**Northern Wolf** - Daniel does make it look easy! Maybe I should revive him and marry him and drag him to school with me. He could just be my professor. x]  
**Pavement Chaser** - She might think twice about taking things into her own hands now though.

**There were sooo many ways I could take this chapter! I think I made like 20 decisions as I went down thru it. I just hope I made decisions that would entertain you the most. I got stuck at how much I actually wanted to traumatize Kate. Still hoping I made the right decisions so that you guys will continue to enjoy reading!**

* * *

"I know who you are," I repeated, keeping my hand at the level of my eye. I gripped the knife so tightly my knuckles had turned white and my fingers felt completely numb.

"I don't think you do, Kate." Ethan smirked, apparently amused by my interfering. "Come on out, Guys! It looks like we have ourselves another guest!"

I took a few steps to the side as two more men appeared from the jungle. Both were behind me and advanced toward Charlie and Claire. I glanced around for Tom, Richard, or Ben, but instead I only saw Pickett and a man I hadn't really met while I had my stay with the Others. Charlie and Claire were silent behind me. I didn't look back at their faces, but I could sense their fear from where I stood. Unfortunately, I had enough fear of my own. The three of us could have taken Ethan, but we couldn't take all three of them with our bare hands and a knife. Narrowing my eyes at Ethan, I took a step toward him.

"Danny, take care of them," Ethan said. "I'll take care of this one." Before I could move, he stepped forward and grabbed my arm, pressing his fingers against the stab wound. He grabbed the knife from my grip and tucked it against his belt. I held in a cry and struggled against him, staring in horror as Charlie was knocked out and Claire was dragged -screaming- into the bushes.

"You want me to do something with him?" Danny nodded toward Charlie's unconscious body. "Take him with me?"

Ethan shook his head and gave my arm a hard jerk, presumably to get me to stop moving. "I'll dispose of the body."

"Let go of me!" I threw punches at him and kicked him in the shins, but the pain shooting up and down by bad arm was enough to make me weak. "I want to speak to Juliet!" I saw a flicker in his eyes, but his gaze turned cold again within seconds. Out of the Others, Juliet and Richard were the only ones I put any trust at all in - not that I trusted them completely, because I didn't.

"I don't know who you're talking about. Now shut up." Ethan slammed me back against a tree, holding both of my arms. He kicked my legs to get me to stop kicking him and narrowed his eyes. "You're a feisty one," he stated. "I would have had an easier time if someone else had followed them, wouldn't have I?" He pushed me forward, keeping his grip tight on my arms as he forced me to walk in front of him. It didn't matter if I let my legs to give out; he just dragged me along.

His grip was too strong. I had easily escaped from those such as the marshal, but this guy could have taken even him. I was shoved against vines, struggling for my life as he pulled out a rope from his backpack.

"I have no intention of hurting you, Kate," he stated. He undid a tangle with one hand, making sure I didn't escape with the other. "I know more about you than you think I know. But right now, I have Claire to deal with. I just need to make sure you don't follow me." He raised his fist and hit me alongside the head. Everything went black.

Things were blurry when I woke up. I found myself standing on my very tiptoes with my arms stretched high in the air. I lifted my head, moaning at the pain as I glanced up. Both my hands were tied together and tied to a branch. My arms felt like they were about the fall off, especially the one I had been stabbed in. I tilted my head forward again and was about to close my eyes when I noticed something shiny. After a moment of fighting dizziness, I recognized it as my knife. I quickly glanced around.

"Oh, good, you're awake." Ethan came through the bushes, dragging Charlie by his feet. He let the unconscious man lie on his back two or three feet away from me. "I didn't think I'd need two ropes for this job. I guess I'm just going to have to hope he doesn't wake up any time soon, huh?" He leaned forward, examining the bruise forming on Charlie's head.

"I guess so," I spat. I inched forward as best as I could, using the very tip of my foot to drag the knife closer. After a few moments of struggle, I managed to pick it up with my feet and tried to adjust it. I used all my upper body strength to hold myself in the air. The knife was pointed slightly downward, but I knew if I could get it high enough it wouldn't matter. I began moving back and forth. Tears stung my eyes at the pain in my arm. "I want to speak to Juliet!"

"There is no Juliet at our camp!" He spun around and stepped off to the side.

I would have been high enough in the air to stab the knife though his face or at least through his shoulder, but his step to the side was unexpected. The knife slipped from my feet and I swung backward and smacked into the vines behind me. "No!" The knife fell through the air and landed sticking out of Charlie's stomach. "No! Charlie!"

Ethan stared down at him for a moment then looked up at me. "Well that takes care of our Charlie problem, doesn't it? Once a murderer, always a murderer." He took a few steps forward and grabbed me, stopping me from swinging. A kick to the groin sent him reeling backward, tripping over Charlie's body and landing on his back. He stayed in that position for several moments before hoisting himself to his feet and staggering forward. He grabbed me hard and slammed me sideways against the vines practically surrounding us. He laughed as he glanced down at my flailing feet, seeming amused that I was just high enough in the air to not be able to get my footing. Grabbing me again, he pushed me as hard as he could backward into the vines behind me.

Tears were beginning to fall down my face. I began being pelted by raindrops though and I took pride in the fact he couldn't see me crying. After a moment of swinging through the air, he grabbed me again, standing off to the side this time.

"Do not come after her, Kate. If you do, next time I will kill you."

I glared forward then turned my head and spat in his face. It earned me a slap across me cheek, but it was worth it. "I want to speak to Juliet!" I yelled after him as he walked away. "Let me speak to Richard! I don't care if I have to speak to Tom! I'll even talk to Ben!"

Once he was out of sight, I yelled loudly in anger. I began swinging myself violently, twisting against the rope and kicking my feet in anyway possible. I hit myself against the vines, tried to run up the vines, swung forward as far as possible to try to loosen the rope and slip from the branch. My arms and every other part of my body was in immense pain, the burning feeling where the ropes touched my wrists almost unbearable. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself not to look at the body in front of me. "Jack!" I swallowed a few times then yelled so loud I thought my throat was going to rip open. "Jack!"

I opened my eyes just as Locke came bursting into the small clearing, Boone trailing only a few feet behind him. They stopped at Charlie's body. Locke only took a moment the stare, but Boone just stood there even after Locke moved. The older man got over the shock of the dead body almost immediately, which wasn't surprising at all. "Boone," he called, snapping him out of his daze. "Help me get her down." He pulled out a knife and hurried over to the vines, beginning to climb them.

"Right." Boone rushed forward, watching Locke climb.

"Lift me up," I pleaded. Hanging by my arms was beginning to be too much. I was still swinging, unable to get my footing to stop myself. "Please."

Boone grabbed my legs and hoisted me into the air. "Here. Swing your leg over my shoulder." He struggled as he lifted me higher, helping me so I was sitting on his shoulder with one leg on either side of him. "How did this happen?" He pushed me over toward Locke so he could cut the rope.

I couldn't answer. Even though I was finally able to lower my arms slightly, there was no relief to the pain. The rain let up until it stopped, but my tears came faster until my sight was blurred by them. The rope was finally cut and I collapsed, unable to hold myself up. Boone fell to the ground with me, fortunately twisting so that he didn't land on me. I rolled to my side so my back was to them, painfully curling up.

"Help her up," Locke commanded. "I'm going to go get Jack."

I didn't want to get up. I was in too much pain to move and my stomach was beginning to roll as the fact I murdered Charlie kicked in. I didn't have the strength to fight as Boone eased me into a sitting position. I stopped my crying and pulled my knees to my chest, leaning forward against my legs. I crossed my arms and began breathing deeply.

This was impossible. Charlie couldn't have died. He wasn't supposed to die until right before we got off the island and I was supposed to stop it. I waited to wake up, half praying that I was having some awful, vivid dream spawned from being pregnant. "No," I mumbled, shaking my head. I shrugged off Boone's hand when he touched my shoulder. "No. No. No!"

"Kate!" Jack's voice overpowered my own. I lifted my head as he hurried after Locke. His worry for me seemed to dissipate at the sight of Charlie's body. "What happened?" He knelt down beside the corpse, checking for any sign of life. He placed his hand beside the knife, examining the object. "I need to get this out."

"Jack, he's gone," I whispered. Using Boone for support, I struggled to my feet then inched toward him. "You can't do anything." I placed my hand on his shoulder only to have it shrugged away. "Jack, please." I got to my knees beside him, trying to make him look at me as he pulled the knife from Charlie's stomach and used Charlie's shirt to put pressure against the wound. He held out his arm to keep me from getting too close. "Jack, he's dead!" I grabbed his arm. He shoved me back and I hit the ground hard. My dignity suddenly hurt more than any part of my body and I lied there in shock for a moment.

"Damn it!" Jack got to his feet, pacing back and forth beside the body.

"Jack." My voice was thick with tears. I definitely wanted nothing more than to just go home. He didn't respond to me and I pressed my hands to my eyes. This couldn't be happening like this. I had to happen like before. I got to my hands and knees, and crawled toward Charlie. "Stop the bleeding," I commanded anyone who would listen. I beat my hands down on Charlie's chest, intent on restarting his heart like Jack had. "Wake up! Wake up! Charlie!"

That seemed to get Jack's attention. "Kate! Kate, you're not going it right." He grabbed my shoulders, trying to hold me back as I struggled against him. "Hey." He sat down behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me back against him and holding me there. "Take the body," he said to Locke and Boone.

I watched as they lifted Charlie. "No!" I called as they began to take him away. "I can fix him! Bring him back!" I struggled against Jack's grip until pain forced me to stop. I fell silent, not moving as he began to loosen his grip. He finally let go and got to his feet, but I just sat there staring at the ground. My tears stopped and I shoved down my feelings, numbness covering the pain. Quivering, I too got to my feet. "We should get back." I forced my body to move toward the cave.

"Kate." Jack's voice sounded shocked. "Kate, what happened?" He placed a hand on my arm.

I hit his hand away and fell silent. No part of me felt like explaining or talking at all. My stomach was still rolling and I suddenly despised being pregnant. I turned and leaned against a tree, closing my eyes. At least I hadn't shouted out I was having a baby to get to Juliet. Though, I wondered if it would have gotten me there. "It didn't happen like this before," I mumbled, forgetting Jack was there despite that his hands were on my shoulder. "I should have talked to Danny. I should have explained."

Jack rubbed the spot between my shoulder blades. "Kate, you're not making any sense. You're probably in shock. We're almost to the caves."

Of course, I was in shock! I just screwed up destiny again, or so I thought. I just accidentally killed yet another person. Once a murderer, always a murderer. The nausea wasn't fading, but I wasn't emptying my stomach either. I backed away from the tree.

I didn't know how I got back to the caves, but I assumed Jack had something to do with it. He stopped me by the stream and helped me to my knees. "Wash yourself off," he said. "I'll be back." he grabbed a piece of cloth and dipped it in the water, handing it to me before walking off.

I hadn't even noticed all the mud on me until then. No one seemed to be around so I stripped to my bra and underwear then rinsed the dirt off my skin. In some places, blood mixed in with the mud and I assumed it was from slamming myself against the vines. I knew the water was cold, but I could barely feel it. I could barely feel anything aside from the burning in my arm muscles.

"What happened to you?" Jack knelt down beside me again, lying new clothes on the ground before examining the bruises on my body. "Did Ethan do this to you?"

I didn't answer. I grabbed my shirt and eased it on, followed by my pants. After getting to my feet, I brushed past him and walked into the cave. My bed seemed like the best place at the moment. I knew he'd follow if I tried to escape to the hatch, where I really wanted to be. I wished I could just take him there with me. Pulling my knees to my chest, I leaned forward against my legs again. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a water bottle being put down beside me. A blanket was wrapped around my shoulders and Jack sat down behind me, his arm lightly touching my back. I stayed frozen to my spot, refusing to acknowledge my surroundings.

I was suddenly exhausted, but unable to sleep. I couldn't stop scolding myself for what I had just done long enough to close my eyes. Jack must have been exhausted too because I could feel him slouching against my back. Every few moments, his head would end up on my shoulder. It was oddly comforting. He'd wake himself up again though and straighten up. I finally slouched back against him, resting my head against his so he wouldn't move anymore.


	14. Whatever The Case May Be I

**Amy** - All my reviewers seem to be going on vacation at the same time. o_O I hope that you have lots of fun and I anxiously await you and your reviews coming back! I'm glad you liked the end of the chapter, the chapter, and the story in general. And the Skate shouldn't be too bad...I am a Jater after all. x]  
**Temporarilymisplaced** - I felt bad about killing him off...but dying was his destiny and there's just some parts of destiny that cannot be changed.  
**Northern Wolf** - Well yay for trauma! =D I'm really glad you liked the end of the chapter.  
**Lostieamyethyst** - I'm glad you liked it. Thanks so much for reviewing!  
**Anon** - Wow. Three wows in a row, starting with yours. That was pretty cool. x] I'm glad you liked the chapter!  
**Lostcandy** - I would die for something like my ending in the actual show. Haha. I like leaving people speechless. =]  
**Jess** - I figured killing Charlie would be obvious, but apparently -and fortunately- I was wrong! I'm not sure how much I'm going to touch on other people's reactions to Charlie and Claire - outside of Jack, Kate, and a bit of Sawyer. Obviously people will be reacting in the background, but I have so much other stuff to explore in the main light. =]

**Consider this your one and only "warning". I like the Biblical aspect of LOST...a lot. I'm a Christian and I enjoy writing what I know. I plan on going into the Biblical aspect of LOST probably a lot more than the show actually will. I want to let everyone know that I will be more than touching on that. In no way am I trying to convert anyone of another religion or trying to offend anyone. If you're easily offended by God and Christianity or anything along the lines of that, I ask you stop reading now and not send me any reviews that could possibly offend me. I respect you, you respect me, kay?  
Anything in italics has been taken from Genesis - Chapter One. Most is word for word from The Message. **

**I also decided to split this chapter into two parts. Enjoy part one!**

* * *

The sound of the waterfall was calming as I dipped my bare feet into it and daydreamed about how I woke up that morning. Somehow, Jack and I had ended up both lying down. I didn't know when I fell asleep, but when I got up, we were both lying on our sides. My head was rested on his arm and his head was tucked against my neck. It was a position I had woken up to many times back home. It suddenly had an awkwardness to it though now that we were on the island and not exactly as close as we were back home. I had wanted to lie there forever, but morning sickness forced me out of the caves.

"Don't beat yourself up over it. He was going to die eventually anyway. His fate was to die here."

I opened my eyes and turned my head. Jacob was sitting on a rock about two feet away. "It wasn't supposed to be like that," I commented. Just talking about it made me feel choked up. I felt like crying but my tear ducts were too proud to hurt. "Not yet. Not like that."

"Things happen," Jacob said. "Not everything is going to go as planned."

I let out a harsh breath. "Does it ever?" I pulled my feet from the water and rolled onto my side, propping my head up with my hand. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot." He motioned with his hand for me to go on.

"Are you God?" It suddenly felt stupid to say out loud. I glanced at his face then at the ground again, poking at the dirt with a stick.

"Do you think I'm God, Eve?"

"No," I answered. "Isn't God supposed to be perfect and can do whatever He wants? If you were, things wouldn't start and end like this. They would have ended the first time when Jack and I both died and never started again."

He stood from his rock and knelt down in front of me. "It only ends once," he said. "Anything that happens before that is just progress. You don't even believe in God, do you?."

I rubbed at my eyes and sighed. "I didn't used to. I believe that you could be God though."

"And what if I am God?" he questioned. His voice sounded amused and curious to hear my answer.

I stayed silent, staring down at my hands.

"Do you know anything about the book of Genesis?" he questioned.

"I had better things to do than go to Sunday school." I suddenly felt defensive and slightly offended. I regretted asking if he was God. "I have to go." I moved to stand, but he put his hands on my shoulders and forced me back down. "I don't need an explanation of the Bible. It's a collection of stories piled up by people who needed something to believe in."

"First this: God created the Heavens and Earth - all you see, all you don't see."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't believe in any of that."

"You said that you believe I could be God. I'm neither denying it nor confirming it. So how about you let me tell you a little bit about who you believe I could be?"

I hesitated and rubbed my arm, flinching as I hit one of my many bruises. "Just give me the general idea of what you're trying to tell me."

"I'll make it quick." He said down. "Earth was nothing. A bottomless emptiness. An inky blackness. A…"

"I get the picture. Earth was nothing. It didn't exist." I motioned with my hands for him to get on with it.

"_God spoke: 'Light!' And light appeared. God saw that light was good and separated light from dark. God named the light Day and the dark Night. It was evening, it was morning. Day One_. There's a lot of light and dark here, Eve. A lot of day to night end of the world type storms - and as literal as that is, I also mean it metaphorically. You keep a white stone in your pocket while Jack keeps a black one in his. I wear a white shirt while my brother wears a black one. Black and white. Good and evil."

I looked shocked then reached in my pocket and pulled out the stone. "Just that mean Jack has the evil stone?" I felt caught up and unable to rationalize, panicking at the thought. "What does that mean?"

"Dark doesn't always mean evil," Jacob answered. "_God spoke: 'Sky! In the middle of the waters; separate water from water!' God made sky. He separated the water under sky from the water above sky. And there is was: he named sky the Heavens. It was evening, it was morning. Day Two."_

"Dark and light plus water and sky," I confirmed I was listening. "Is this going somewhere?"

He continued, apparently ignoring my question. "_God spoke: 'Separate! Water-beneath-Heaven, gather into one place; Land appear!' And there it was. God named the land Earth. He named the pooled water Ocean. God saw it was good."_

"Wouldn't he have known it was good before he made it?" I asked. "God is supposed to know everything." I felt weird discussing this. It was something I usually pushed as far from my mind as possible. I expected some sarcastic response like, 'maybe he wanted it to be a surprise.'

"Some things are hard to understand," he stated. _"God spoke: 'Earth, green up! Grow all varieties of seed-bearing plants, every sort of fruit-bearing tree!' And there it was. Earth produced green, seed-bearing plants, all varieties, and fruit-bearing trees of all sorts. God saw that it was good. It was evening, it was morning. Day Three."_

I stared at him, unable to wrap my mind around it. It was simple to remind myself this was just a story. "God made all the different plants on Earth? Do you know how many different plants and trees are around just on this island?"

Jacob laughed. "You think God knows everything but you don't think he can do a bit of gardening?"

I opened my mouth but found no argument and was forced to sit there in silence. I would have crossed my arms, but it was rather painful to do that. "Keep going," I muttered.

"_God spoke: 'Lights! Come out! Shine in Heaven's sky! Separate Day from Night. Mark seasons, days, and years, Lights in Heaven's sky to give light to Earth.' And there it was. God made two big lights , the larger to take charge of Day, the smaller to be in charge of Night; and he made the stars. God placed them in the heavenly sky to light up Earth and oversee Day and Night, to separate light and dark. God saw that it was good. It was evening, it was morning. Day Four."_

"So stars are like the gray area?" I adjusted so I was leaning back against one of the larger rocks by the water.

"Not the gray area like you might think, but you could say that." Jacob nodded. "_God spoke: 'Swarm, Ocean, with fish and all sea life! Birds, fly through the sky over Earth!' God created the huge whales, all the swarm of life in the waters, and every kind and species of flying birds. God saw that it was good. God blessed them: 'Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Ocean! Birds, reproduce on Earth!' It was evening, it was morning. Day Five. God spoke: 'Earth, generate life! Every sort and kind: cattle and reptiles and animals - all kinds.' And there it was: wild animals of every kind, cattle of all kinds, every sort of reptile and bug. God saw that it was good. God spoke: 'Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature so they can be responsible for the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, the cattle, and, yes, Earth itself, and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.' God created human beings; he created them god-like, reflecting God's nature. He created them male and female. God blessed them: 'Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge! Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth.' Then God said, 'I've given you every sort of fruit-bearing tree, given them to you for food. To all animals and all birds, everything that moves and breathes, I give whatever grows out of the ground for food.' And there it was. God looked over everything he had made; it was so good, so very good! It was evening, it was morning. Day Six."_

I felt like a little kid. I was suddenly drawn into his story. In the sense of being preached to, I didn't want to hear a word he was saying. In the sense of curiosity toward this fantasy land, I wanted to know what happened next. "And then what happened?" I asked. I was at least glad to get my mind completely off Charlie.

"Heaven and Earth were done," Jacob answered. "_By the seventh day, God had finished his work. On the seventh day, he rested from all his work. God blessed the seventh day. He made it a Holy Day because on that day he rested from his work, all the creating God had done." _He stopped speaking and looked at me almost expectantly.

I sat there in silence for a moment, waiting for him to go on. When the silence lasted more than a few moments, I began to get the hint that he had finished. It wasn't so much I felt left at a cliffhanger, but I suddenly was lost in confusion as what the whole point of that was. "This feels like a waste of my time to listen to," I commented. "Why did you go to the trouble to tell me all this?"

"You said you could believe I was God," Jacob replied. "This is what I say God is. You make it obvious that you aren't believing a word I say, so how can you believe there's a possibility that I am God? Do you believe I could have made each individual blade of grass or that I could know the stars by name?"

I found myself at a loss and I didn't like it. I hated it. The mixture of confusion, defensiveness, offense, and more was coming close to bubbling over. It seemed like it would have been so easy to say, 'No. I don't believe you could be God.' At the same time, it proved to be the hardest thing in the world. I struggled to figure out how I could believe everything that happened on the island happened but I couldn't wrap my mind around that he could know the stars by name. "I don't know," I responded.

Jacob scratched at the ground with one hand and dug it up slightly. He gathered the dirt. "Hold out your hands, Eve."

I made a face and shoved the stone back into my pocket. I held out my hands and watched as he emptied the dirt into them. "What do I want with mud?"

"_God formed man out of dirt from the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life. The man came alive - a living soul!" _Jacob picked up another handful of dirt, taking a pinch and sprinkling it back to the ground. "Thing of that compared to me telling you God created everything. Now I'm telling you you were technically created from dirt."

"Well, in a sense, I was," I muttered to myself, thinking of Wayne. The thought of Wayne really did make all the bad feelings bubble over. I put the dirt back on the ground where it belonged and brushed my hands together. I narrowed my eyes on the ground then glared at Jacob. "Say everything you just said, despite how far-fetched it sounds to me, was really true. If you could be God, where were you when I needed you."

Jacob got to his feet but bent over so he was still almost eye-level with me. "I have more narratives to tell you," he said. "The next one is specifically about good and evil. If you decide that there's even the slightest chance you believe me and want to hear what I have to say, you're going to have to find me. You really want to know where I was when you needed me if I was God?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah," I spat. "I do."

He tapped my nose. "In the convenience store, Katie."

I blinked and he was gone. My hands started to quiver. "Jacob?!" I called after him. I got to my feet, backing up and tripping over a rock. I landed hard on my back, but my body felt number again. I scrambled to my feet, feeling the intolerable urge to run away filling my head. I placed my hands on a large rock, gripping a smaller stone on top of it. My breath was hitching in my throat. "Jacob!"

"You're still yellin' for that Jacob guy?"

Startled, I lifted the stone I had my hand on and threw it as hard as I could in the direction of the voice.

"Ow. Son of a bitch." Sawyer stumbled forward. "What the hell are you doing?!"

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. "What the hell are you doing?!" I shot back.

"You nearly busted my damn knee," he defended in a way that clearly said he had asked the question first.

"You stalking me now?" A rush of panic nearly immobilized me as I wondered what he could have heard or seen.

"Stalking you?" He answered. "I was protecting you."

I narrowed my eyes. "From what? Southern perverts?"

"Yeah, whatever," Sawyer muttered. "I can't believe you."

I relaxed as he limped forward. It didn't seem like he had been watching me anymore than a second before I had yelled for Jacob. "It's not that bad," I stated, internally making fun of him for being such a big baby.

He shot me a look. "It's my knee. I'll tell you how bad it is. What the hell you doing out here anyway?"

I turned around and took a seat on the rock I had been leaning on. "I just…" I paused and looked around. "I couldn't be at Charlie's memorial."

He seemed to understand - probably because he wasn't there himself. "Yeah, well, you shouldn't be out here alone." His voice was full of concern that I usually only heard in Jack's voice. Not after what happened…"

I glanced at the ground a moment before looking at him again. "I'm fine. I can take care of myself." I motioned to myself. "I'm still alive, aren't I?"

"Of course," Sawyer said before mocking me. I don't need protection. I can take care of myself. Me Kate. Me throw rock."

I laughed and shook my head. "You're something." I took a seat on the ground again and put my feet back in the water as he tugged his shirt off then dove in.

"You comin'?" he questioned after he surfaced again. "Or you just gonna sit there?"

I smiled. "You go ahead and have your fun. My arm is a bit stiff." I paused. "I was in a few hours ago. There's some bodies down there. Maybe you want to be disgusting and check them out? You could grab that case down there for me."

He frowned. "So I'm disgusting and you're not? Your hair is a bit dry to have been in just a few hours ago."

"My hair dries fast. It's my case," I replied. I watched as he dove back under, my hands beginning to shake again. My mind flashed back to what Jacob said. Something about it hit a nerve, but I couldn't figure out why. I needed to know where to find him again. I was almost lost in thought about it when Sawyer resurfaced with a wallet and the case.

"Finders keepers," he stated, climbing out of the water.

I stared at him in shock and then disgust. "You really wanna fight me for it?"

"You wanna tell me what's in it?" he questioned with a smirk.

I was already getting that his was about attention and not the actual case itself or its contents. "No," I answered.

"Then I wanna fight you for it."


	15. Whatever The Case May Be II

**Temporarilymisplaced** - Glad you're giving it a chance. Jacob will have many appearances. =]  
**Lostcandy** - Ah, the case. Fortunately there are minor things that will be much easier for Kate now. x]

**Wow, so...I either lost my reviewers due to a slow day, a very boring chapter and/or a controversial subject, or ALL of you really did go on vacation! I shoulda went to camp this week while everyone is gone!  
Fortunately, as long as I have at least 1 review per chapter...this fic will go on until the end! But uh...I would like plenty of reviews, thx. I see how many alert lists I'm on. ^.-**

**Here's the second part. Enjoy!**

* * *

My mind was swimming and I didn't have time for his. Sawyer had taken off in the jungle and I was left struggling to get my shoes on as fast as I could. In a way, chasing after him again seemed rather pointless. I had taken the plane and burned it after Jack had asked me to marry him. I needed something solid and reliable right now though. Not even Jack could fit that.

Part of me was focused on Charlie's memorial being held at the beach and how I should be there instead of chasing down Sawyer or having conversations with Jacob - who I currently despised. I killed him and I couldn't even bring myself to go to his funeral. It made me utterly disgusted with myself.

The other part of me was focused on Jacob and his nonsense. He did have a point though. If that was his version of God, how could I possibly believe he was God? Even after all that happened on the island, I couldn't wrap my mind around his version of how the Earth was made. It's not like I believe first there was nothing then nothing exploded in the middle of space to make Earth. I didn't really believe anything because it wasn't important to me. - What he said about the convenience store struck something in me. I had no clue what he was talking about but I felt like I should. I shook it off as a feeling similar to the one I had when I thought I might die. I was curious about good and evil though; about black and white. I didn't carry that stone around in my pocket simply to help gravity keep me on Earth.

"Damnit, Sawyer." I couldn't run very fast because every part of my body ached. I also knew he thought of this as some kind of game and if I took off after him I'd only be increasing the fun on his part. So, I walked at a decent speed toward the beach. When I got there, I wasn't surprised to see waves washing several things out to sea. People should have been more careful about where they put their stuff.

"Where were you today, Kate?" Jack came jogging up to me. He looked concerned, but he also looked rather angry. "You just wander off into the jungle after what happened to Claire and Charlie? After what happened to you?"

I stopped and glanced at him then sighed. "I'm fine, Jack. It wasn't like I was alone. Sawyer was with me." I paused. "Speaking of Sawyer, have you seen him?"

"I thought you just said he was with you," Jack stated.

"He was," I replied. "But he took off." I glanced up and down the beach then looked at Jack. "Before the marshal died, his wallet was lying on the floor. Do you know what happened to it?"

"What does that have to do with…"

"I just need something out of it." I shifted from one foot to the other, ignoring the need to sit down.

"Out of the marshal's wallet?" Jack confirmed.

I nodded my head a bit impatiently. "Yes."

"I picked it up sometime after he died," Jack said. "It's somewhere in the cave. I don't see what you would need out of…Hey." He grabbed my good arm and pulled me back as I began to walk away. "Don't go through everything, Kate. We can find it later when I'm not busy."

"It's not like I'm going to make a mess," I muttered, narrowing my eyes at him. I hated when he treated me like I was a little kid. "I have things to do right now anyway." I pulled away from him and made my way over to Sawyer's shelter, not bothering to glance back.

Sawyer appeared to be asleep, the case between his knees. I stood in the door way. "I'll make you an offer for it," I said, trying to play things his way.

His eyes opened. "What do you have to offer me?" he asked.

I paused to think then shrugged my shoulders. "Name something and I'll tell you if I can get it for you. You're not the only one with a stash, James. I have my fair share hidden away too."

"Tell me your hiding place and I'll give you the case."

I smiled. "Nice try. I won't tell you where everything is. I don't have cigarettes or porn either."

"Damn, Girl, you don't got much, do ya?" He shifted so he was sitting up and repositioned the case beside him. "Wouldn't have happened to have found some alcohol in any of those suitcases you stole from, huh?" He paused. "Earlier you were callin' me disgusting for…"

"I found some beer in one of them," I stated. "That work for you? Only a few cans."

He leaned back and grinned. "Freckles, you bring me beer and I'll trade you whatever the hell you want."

"Deal?"

"Deal."

----------

"Please. Please. Please." I had taken apart nearly half the pantry was now putting it back together and still searching. I couldn't take back what I said, but there didn't appear to be any beer -or any sort of alcohol for that matter- in the hatch. Either Desmond had drank it all or there was never any to begin with.

"Sometimes it's better to ask around if you need something."

I jumped and placed my hand on my chest then spun around to face Jacob. "You scared me." My eyes traveled to the two cans of Dharma Beer he was holding - one in each hand. I glanced up at him and smirked. "I thought God was against drinking."

"I never said I was God." He placed the cans on the shelf then walked out of the pantry.

"Jacob?" This walking away from me was beginning to become a habit I was not fond of. I started to follow him but doubled back for the beer again before jogging from the pantry. "Hey!" I rounded the corner and smacked into Desmond, nearly dropping the cans.

"Kate, did you…" He glanced at the beer in my hands. "Where did you get that?"

I internally panicked. "Gotta go! I'm late!" I jogged away.

"Late?" He called after me. "What could you possibly be late for on an island?!"

----------

"Dharma Beer?" Sawyer examined the beer can carefully. "Freckles, what the hell is this?"

"Beer." I grinned triumphantly. "It's a generic brand, but you really weren't all that specific."

"I really wasn't all that specific," he muttered under his breath. "Well, when you said beer, I thought you meant somethin' I actually heard of before!"

"A deal's a deal, James, now hand over the case." I grabbed for it but he grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him.

"Ya brought two of 'em. Ya ain't gonna stick around and have a drink with me?" He let go of my arm again.

I smiled. "Sorry. I'm not much of a beer drinker," I lied. I grabbed the case and walked away from him with a grin on my face. Jacob was almost like having my own personal Easy Button.

"You ain't even gonna tell me what's inside?!" He called after me.

----------

"What are you looking for in the wallet, Kate?" Jack pulled it out of a pile of things. "What's in the case?"

"I was going to tell you about it earlier but you were a little busy." I walked outside our cave and took a seat against the wall. I glanced around, satisfied when I didn't see anyone. I waited until Jack took a seat beside me. "There's guns in here," I said. "Guns, ammo, and something of mine."

"Something of yours?" He opened the wallet and retrieved the key before taking the case from me. "You wanna tell me what it is?"

"It's nothing important, Jack." It wasn't that I felt compelled to lie, but I honestly didn't see why it was any of his business. "You should be more worried about the weapons." I watched as he opened it, rubbing my hands up and down the legs of my jeans. I had never expected to see my only connection to Tom again. It seemed to take forever for him to open the case and begin going through the things. My eyes were glued to the envelope labeled 'Personal Effects'.

"This what you wanted?" It was the last thing he took out of the case, almost like he left it in there the whole time just to torture me. He opened it and pulled out a green-wrapped package then handed it to me.

I took it from him gently. It felt lighter than I remembered. I pulled open the tape and unwrapped it only to reveal more green paper inside the package. My eyes burned with tears as I just stared at it.

Jack was staring too. I could feel the pity radiating off of him. "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

I suddenly felt very alone. I didn't have Tom and I really didn't even have Jack. I knew he was asking about the package, but I wanted him to love me again so much I felt compelled to give him some sort of truth. "I killed Charlie," I whispered.

"What?" He got to his feet, taken aback. "What are you talking about, Kate?"

"He was lying on the ground. I was swinging back and forth holding the knife with my feet, trying to stab Ethan." It sounded like a really poor plan now that I said it out loud. "It slipped." It also sounded more real now that I said it out loud. "Jack, I'm sorry." I pressed my hands to my eyes as I got my emotions under control. Silence. "Jack?" I lifted my head to find he had disappeared into the cave.

"He needed to know, Kate." Jacob approached me from the side and grabbed my hand. He placed the toy plane on my palm and curled my fingers around it.

I didn't bother calling after him as he left again. I realized that was pointless. After a few deep breaths, I got to my feet. I was about to walk inside when Jack came back out with my stuff. "Jack, what are you doing?" I asked. "It was an accident!"

"All the stuff I have to worry about here, Kate," he said. "We're crashed on an island. God knows when rescue will come. You're a distraction. You move into my cave and distract me and then you go and kill one of us."

"Jack, I…" I stared at him, my mouth half open in disgust. "You asked me to move here!"

"Yeah, well, it was a mistake. It's not like you're my wife. You're not even my girlfriend." He dropped my things at my feet. He turned to leave then spun around again. "What the hell were you thinking trying to stab Ethan while holding a knife with your feet with Charlie there?!"

The first part of what he said hit a nerve and I burst into tears. "I wasn't thinking!" I yelled back then lowered my voice. "I was scared…Jack, please." I felt sick and the quiet sobs that were starting to escape me didn't make it any better. I hung my head as my shoulders began to shake. "I want to go home."

"This is your home now," Jack replied. "The beach is your home now." He walked back inside his cave, leaving me to cry.


	16. Hearts And Minds

**NYR88** - Yeah. Kate's going to be spending a good amount of time at the beach for quite awhile.  
**Northern Wolf (Chpt 14)** - Ooh. Firstaid Volunteering. Sounds fun!  
**Northern Wolf (Chpt 15)** - Even more than 24 hours. I used my writing time to spend some time at the gym 'cause I wanna be fit like Kate and climb the tree in the backyard before summer is over. -blush-  
**Pavement Chaser** - Could be a bit before they actually 'make up'.  
**Anon (Chpt 14)** - I hope you enjoy what I have to throw in.  
**Anon (Chpt 15)** - I'm not sure she'll get any closer to Sawyer than good friends. I have another possible love-triangle in mind.  
**Rainydaytruth** - Heh. Glad you liked the part about Jacob. I was wearing a shirt that had an easy button on it and said, "Jesus. It's just that easy." So when Jacob popped up out of nowhere, I ended up thinking, "Jacob. It's just that easy." xP  
**Ilayda** - Thanks for finding the time to review despite your business. =]  
**Temporarilymisplaced** - Yeeaah. I hate Jack's moods. Lol.

**So anyway...this chapter is kinda blah. I spent my writing time at the gym and then came home and worked on my plushies for Boyce Avenue. Some chapters, I have in my head in complete, dramatic detail. Others...I have a rough idea but nothing really worked out. So if any of you find you have ideas for episodes in Season 1 for my fic...feel free to throw them at me and I'll gladly consider them!  
Yay for 100+ reviews! You guys are so awesome.  
Enjoy. =]**

* * *

I dropped my things in my shelter, relieved that no one had taken it over. Tears were still rolling down my face, but they weren't for Jack. I cried because I killed Charlie. I took away the life of yet another person and I despised myself for it. I also hated Jack for not understanding it was an accident. I rubbed at my eyes and forced myself to stop crying. I was going to have to get used to all this - including the fact that the island was once again my home. Jack was also no longer my fiancé. I pulled the necklace from my neck and dropped it and the ring beside Tom's toy plane. Sawyer was very available and I was willing to go whatever to get rid of the pain tearing at my heart.

"Where are you going, Eve?"

"To see Sawyer." I passed Jacob as I walked out of my shelter. I wiped at my eyes again to get rid of the last of my tears. "Shouldn't you already know that?"

"I was hoping you'd join my for another narrative."

I stopped to look at him. "This is all your fault," I whispered. "You should have been there when I was trying to save Charlie and Claire. Why didn't you want to tell me one of your stories then?"

"You don't want someone to blame. You want someone to fight with." Jacob nodded. "Alright. This is all my fault. What happened happened though. Come on." He walked into my shelter.

I stood outside for several moments, glancing back and forth between my tent and Sawyer's tent. I really didn't want him to see me crying. I turned and walked back into my own shelter. "You said this one was about good and evil." I sat down beside him on the airline seats and pulled my knees to my chest.

"I don't think you're ready for good and evil," he stated. "We could just sit here. You look exhausted."

"Exhausted. Right." I watched as he moved to sit on the ground, but couldn't argue with him he didn't have to sit there. I lied down, resting my head against my arm. I felt awful and for a moment had to close my eyes to convince myself I wasn't going to be sick. When I opened my eyes again Jacob was gone. I rolled over and fell asleep.

----------

I walked into my shelter the next morning with one hand pressed to my stomach. Jacob was sitting on the airline seats with a bottle of water and a bowl of steaming oatmeal next to him. "You've gotta be kidding me." I turned around and started to walk back out, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me down beside him.

"You have to eat," he said. "It's not going to be as easy to stay healthy here. You don't have everything that you would if you were…"

"You brought me oatmeal," I said. "You can't keep me healthy?"

"I took it from the hatch and cooked it over a fire. Here." He handed me the bowl. "Don't forget about keeping hydrated." He also handed me the bottle of water.

I set the bowl on my lap and uncapped the water then took a sip. I spit it out. "What is that?!"

"Coconut water." He got to his feet. "It's good for you and it'll keep you hydrated better as you garden with Sun today."

"Garden with Sun? I have a job now?" I watched as he walked away then muttered under my breath. The last thing I felt like doing was eating, but I did it anyway so he wouldn't come back and force it down my throat or something.

----------

It startled me that I almost forgot my way to the garden. I had been there so many times, but it slipped my mind exactly where I was going. Sun was already there when I got myself on the right trail. After a few glances around, I looked at her. "Do you need any help?"

She said something in Korean.

I sighed and glanced up at the sky. "I know you speak English Sun. I'm not going to tell anyone." I looked at her again and tried to smile.

"Did Michael…?"

"No one told me," I assured her. "I'm pretty good at knowing when people are hiding things." I got to my knees and began to help push dirt over some of the seeds she had planted. "What made you think of planting a garden?"

"Boone and Locke haven't been bringing back any boar," Sun replied. "We need more to eat."

I nodded. "Makes sense. You're not nervous to be out here alone after what happened to Claire?"

"I could ask you the same," she said simply.

Smiling, I nodded. "Guess you're right."

-----------

"I see you there." I stood in the middle of the jungle, gathering passion fruit seeds for Sun.

Jack smiled. "I wasn't hiding. I just didn't want to disrupt you from whatever it is you're doing."

"It's not like it's a secret." I couldn't find it in me to smile back at him.

"Hard to tell with you," he answered.

I spun around. "Go away, Jack. Don't do this. Just go away."

"Kate, I came out here to say I'm sorry for overreacting."

Sorry for overreacting? He was going to have to do a lot more than simply apologize. I gathered my things and walked off.

----------

"'God says to me with a kind of smile, 'Hey how would you like to be God awhile And steer the world?' 'Okay,' says I, 'I'll give it a try. Where do I set? How much do I get? What time is lunch? When can I quit?' 'Gimme back that wheel,' says God. 'I don't think you're quite ready yet.'"

I gave Jacob a tired glance as he sat down beside me, listening as he randomly recited some poem. "Run out of conversation starters?"

"I just thought it was fitting," he replied, glancing out over the ocean. "It's like you finally got the wheel, now there's no one to take it back. That was by Shel Silverstein, by the way. You ever read his books?"

"To my son once," I answered. "Did you want something?"

"You were sitting out here all alone. I thought I'd come and join you. It seems like it'd get lonely being you right now."

I bit back the urge to tell him that was his own fault. "Does it get lonely being you?"

"If you believed I was God, that would mean I created a garden called Eden. It would have been a very special place. Hidden from all humanity now that the earth has gone to Hell. Eden was a beautiful place with the Tree-of-Life right in the middle and also the Tree-of-Knowledge-of-Good-and-Evil. It was the first place man was created. You know, even with God there, man became very lonely. It seems like you and Jack are very lonely people."

"Is this your way of telling me it's fate that the two of us be together?" I asked bitterly. "Because I'm done trying."

"There are a lot of guys on this island, Eve," Jacob said. "A lot of guys in the world. I'm just telling you which one seems to match your loneliness."

"I never confirmed I was lonely." I glanced beside me, but he was already good. Figured.

"Do you often talk to yourself? Or is that a habit you picked up after you confirmed you weren't lonely."

I almost grinned at the sound of Jack's voice, but it quickly turned into a scowl. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Just got here. I have something for you."

"I don't want it." I looked away as he sat down beside me. "I'm not going to forgive you."

"I don't expect you to." He held out his closed hand. "Sawyer was going through your things."

I opened my hand to have my engagement ring handed to me. I gave it back. "Tell him he can keep it."

"You sure?" Jack asked.

My silence must have been enough of an answer because he pocketed the ring.

"So this guy," he started. I knew he was trying to find some way to make conversation just to hang around. "I take it he's the father of your baby."

"Why is it any of your business?" I questioned, glaring at him. "It doesn't even matter. He and my son are both dead."

He fell silent for several moments. "I'm sorry."

I nodded my head. "Yeah. Me too."


	17. Special

**Lostcandy** - I'm glad you liked it. And if you think about it...her Jack technically is dead.  
**Temporarilymisplaced** - Kate and I are both very fond of Jacob, so he might eventually knock sense into her. Haha.  
**Northern Wolf** - Awe. That sucks. I've never broken a bone. I did sprain my arm once 'ice-hopping'. Stupid, Self, Stupid. . Past-futurish-Jack who Kate went thru everything with is indeed dead. There's a skeleton of him to prove it. Jack that is currently alive is Jack but will never remember what happened because technically he never went through any of it.  
**Pavement Chaser** - I'm glad you loved it. Thanks for reviewing.  
**Anon** - Hopefully this chapter is a bit more happy. I can't garauntee happiness Jate-wise, but I don't look at it as a sad chapter.  
**Rainydaytruth** - Technically, the Aaron she knew never even existed now. He's vanished. The best way to deal with that is probably looking at it as he died. She can grieve without hope of his return.  
**Famous4it (Chapt 8)** - Well chapters should be coming in a little slower now. Life is beginning to get busy. So much to do in so little time!  
**Famous4it (Chapt 9)** - There's a reason people should read author's notes. ^.- Lol.  
**Famous4it (Chapt 10)** - Glad you liked the Charlie/Hurley part. What's Sawyer without a bit of 'evilness' though? Hehe.  
**Famous4it (Chpt 11)** - Well, I am a walking thesaurus! And Jack is pretty oblivious to the whole hatch thing right now. I doubt he'll figure it out just by her clothes if he figures it out.  
**Famous4it (Chpt 12)** - Changed your mind about not liking so many chapters at once? xD  
**Famous4it (Chpt 13)** - Ha. I'm nowhere near as bad at the real writers. They're evil and mean!  
**Famous4it (Chpt 15)** - I won't hold you back from slapping him.  
**Famous4it (Chpt 16)** - Here's your chance to find out! =D

Alright, Guys, this'll be the last chapter for awhile. I leave for camp on Monday and doubt I'll have a chance to write another chapter before I leave. I won't be back until Saturday, so I'll probably have one up then or the day after.  
Sorry this one took so long to get up. My writing time has been taken over my yoga and the gym. I really want arms like Kate's. Haha. -blush-  
I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Whoever came up with the term 'morning sickness' needed to be slapped. I was plagued by 'most of the day' sickness for the past few days. When I wasn't feeling nauseas, I was absolutely starving. The best place for starving people was definitely the hatch.

"Kate, you're not putting ketchup on that bloody thing, are you?"

I spun around to face Desmond with a pickle in my one hand and a bottle of ketchup in the other. "I'm sorry!" I mumbled overdramatically through the spoonful of peanut butter in my mouth. "It's really good? Want to try some?" I offered him the pickle but within a second I pulled it back. "Never mind. If you eat it, I might run out."

Desmond had a disgusted look on his face. "Out," he said, waving his hands in and out the door of the pantry. "Come on."

"I like it in here," I argued, shaking my head. I swallowed my mouthful of peanut butter and took a few steps back before biting into my ketchup covered pickle. I placed the bottle back on the shelf and picked up my cup of juice. I had no idea what kind of juice it even was, but it was great.

Desmond grabbed the jar of peanut butter and walked into the hall.

I panicked so much I nearly choked. "Hey! What are you doing with that?!" I hurried after him, standing in the hall in shock as he tossed the plastic jar back in the pantry then shut the door.

"Go." He ushered me down the hall and toward the exit. "You're eating us out of house and home. Don't come back until you make up with Jack."

"This isn't about Jack!" I exclaimed. "It's about the baby. Jack is the last reason I would stress out and overeat and always wind up in the hatch instead of around anyone else and…"

"Keep talking." Desmond opened the hatch door and waved me outside. "I'm sure Jack would love to sit on the beach with you and listen."

I spun around to face the hatch door once I was outside. "You don't understand. I need those pickles."

Desmond laughed. "You don't need them, Kate. Eat guava. Have Sun find you something that tastes like pickles."

"I need them," I insisted. The hatch door shut. "At least give me the ketchup!" There was silence. I huffed and drank the rest of my juice then tossed my cup on the ground and walked off.

"It's alright." I muttered to myself once I was several feet away from the hatch. "I can deal without pickles. Oh God, now I'm talking to myself." I shoved the rest of the pickle in my mouth and wiped my hands off on my pants.

"You know they say talking to yourself is a sign of insanity."

I jumped and quickly turned to the side. Locke and Boone were both staring at me with amused looks as Michael fidgeted and glanced around. I narrowed my eyes and swallowed. "How long have you been following me?"

"We haven't," Locke answered. "We're looking for Walt. Have you seen him?"

I shook my head. "Sorry. I'll keep an eye out though."

"Good. Good. I'm sure he'll turn up." Locke smiled then motioned Michael and Boone to follow him before walking away.

I frowned and shook my head. I wondered what would happen if Locke were to die. Bad though. I already had enough posttraumatic stress from killing Charlie. Jack had told me part of it was also survivor's guilt. I wondered how he sensed I was distressed because I never let it show in front of him; not that I was even around him much anymore anyway.

"You know they say talking to dead guys is an even surer sign of insanity." Jacob stepped out of the jungle with a grin. He held out the jar of pickles from the hatch - causing me to practically squeal in delight. "Thought you might be wanting these. Just be careful you don't get caught with them."

I took the jar from him and grinned at it. "Thanks. I'll be sure to hide them. You uh…you wouldn't happen to have the ketchup too, would you?"

He laughed and shook his head. "I'll make sure to grab that next time. Let's walk." He began heading toward the beach.

I walked beside him. He was the only one lately I felt joyful to see. I liked arguing with Sawyer and talking about kids with Penny and joking with Hurley, but they didn't really make me happy. Jack had always made me happy, but I was currently avoiding him - giving him a taste of his own medicine. I felt happy when Jacob showed up.

"I have a favor to ask you," he said. "It's why I brought you the pickles."

"So you're trying to bribe me?" I smiled. "Bring me food and I'll do whatever you want."

He smiled back and shook his head. "I'll keep that in mind next time I need something. I want you to meet someone in the jungle tonight. Just out of sight of the hatch. I'll get them here. Explain things to them."

I raised my eyebrows. "You're not trying to set me up with Jack, are you? Because there's no way in hell I'm explaining anyth-…" I turned around, but Jacob had disappeared. "Oh, come on!" I cried out. "You could at least have the nerve to stick around even if you don't want to continue talking!"

"It's not about not having the nerve." Jacob appeared on the other side of me.

I spun around with a smirk. "Yeah? What's it about then?"

"It just the easiest way to get away from your too many questions."

I gasped in mock offense. "I don't ask too many questions. Now who am I meet in the jungle tonight?" He didn't answer so I tightened my grip on my pickle jar and continued on toward the beach. "Fine. I'll just find out tonight then." Curiosity was trying to get the best of me, but I forced myself to keep my mouth shut.

Jacob wandered off and I thought about following him. Instead, I took the pickle jar to my shelter on the beach and hid it inside. I couldn't say I knew what would happen if Sawyer went through my stuff again, but it would definitely not be good for his health.

"Kate, are you in there? Could you lend me a hand?"

I poked my head through my shelter and frowned at Jack. "I'm busy." There was food calling my name and he really expected me to help him? He was the last person I wanted to be around.

"Stop acting like a child, Kate, and start lending people a hand." He crossed his arms for a moment then uncrossed them and shook his head.

"Just because I'm not helping you doesn't mean I'm not helping people, Jack," I said angrily.

"Right." He glanced away.

I was shocked to see him back down so easily and I was sure it showed by my expression. I stood there awkwardly for a moment then cleared my throat. "What did you need?"

"Sawyer has Claire's diary." Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at the sand. "Sayid thought it might help us to find her and I thought since you had such a way with him…" He looked up at me, staring me in the eye.

I couldn't hold his gaze. "Sawyer. Right." I almost forgot what a jerk Sawyer could be - oh wait; no, I didn't! Unfortunately, it was something I was attracted to in him though. My shoulder brushed against Jack's arm as I walked past him. I despised myself because I knew I did it on purpose for some kind of physical contact with him.

Sawyer was leaning against a tree near his shelter, diary in hand. "Well ,well, Freckles," he said upon glancing my way. "Knew they might get someone to do their dirty work but I didn't know you'd volunteer."

I smiled and crossed my arms. "Yeah, well, it seems like I'm the only one who can get through to you. So are you gonna hand over the diary?"

"What'd'you think?" Sawyer grinned and waved the diary slowly back and forth. "Whatcha got to trade this time, Sweetheart?"

"Depends what you want," I answered. I was willing to give him anything but the pickles stashed in my tent.

"A kiss sounds good."

Okay; anything but the pickles stashed in my tent and that. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Close your eyes," I said closing the distance between our faces. Once his eyes were shut, I shoved my hand against his mouth and grabbed the diary. "You're disgusting."

He chuckled and shoved my hand away. "Was worth a try, wasn't it?" He went to grab the diary back, but I held it out of his reach. "Don't worry, Freckles, you'll admit to liking me sooner or later."

Grinning, I shook my head. "Keep dreaming, Sawyer." I tightened my grip on the diary and walked away from him. My grin faded once I was sure he couldn't see my face. Honestly, I had been thinking about trying a relationship with Sawyer this time around. I didn't want to do it out of hurt because of Jack though like I had done so many times before - not that those times actually counted as a relationship.

I handed the diary to Sayid as I walked past him. Jack was further down the beach with Claire's luggage in hand. He was talking to some guy I had never introduced myself to. I found it odd we had been trapped on the island so long before and there was so many people I didn't even know the names of. Our group had always been pretty closed off. I stopped at my shelter and leaned against it, staring silently at Jack.

My mother's words ran through my head; 'You can't help who you love, Katherine.' It was the only warning from her I should have ever taken seriously.

* * *

**So...who do you think Kate'll be meeting in the jungle? ^.-**


	18. Homecoming

**Ilayda** - Haha. I tried to think of the most disgusting yet easily accessible craving she could have at the time...and that's all that would come to mind. And don't worry...Richard will eventually make an appearance. I just love that guy. =]  
**Lostcandy** - Despite that I was sick all week, I have a great time at camp. I spent a few precious moments eating peanut butter (Yeah, Charlie!) with my friends Andi and Liz while talking about LOST. Liz is a Jater, but Andi is a Skater. I will convert her in the end!!! Bahaha.  
**Famous4it** - No need to miss me, for I have returned and am eager to continue! I hope my unpredictable-ness continues and keeps you happy and occupied as long as this story lasts. =D  
**Boo2ubam (Chpt 12)** - I'm glad your holidays went well! Anything interesting happen?  
**Boo2ubam (Chpt 13) **- I was actually sad to kill Charlie so early. It was just something that had to be done though. =[  
**Boo2ubam (Chpt 14) **- I'm glad you're liking the Biblical side. This chapter I'm posting now was very much inspired by some of Ted Dekker's books. He writes Christian thrillers. I highly recommend (to all of you) reading his books whether you're religious or not. They steal my breath away!  
**Boo2ubam (Chpt 15) **- Hehe. No problem!  
**Boo2ubam (Chpt 16) **- I love leaving people speechles. -content sigh-  
**Boo2ubam (Chpt 17) **- Three days probably seems like nothing now! Don't -cranky face- me. Haha.  
**Temporarilymisplaced **- I think Kate would be offended by you calling her food revolting! -giggles-  
**Northern Wolf** - Glad you're loving it!  
**Jess (Chpt 14)** - Ah...Jacob has better stories to tell than those about creation. And details like that may have been too much for Kate.  
**Jess (Chpt 15)** - They will be bonding in the near future...unless the characters tell me otherwise. They've taken a life of their own lately.  
**Jess (Chpt 16)** - Of course, it's much stronger than loneliness alone! =]  
**Jess (Chpt 17)** - A Hume/Shephard dinner party. Bahaha. Now that would be interesting. xD And, yes, Jacob is very concerned when it comes to the baby.  
**Amy (Chpt 16)** - I know the feeling. Jack angers me quite often in the fic. xD  
**Amy (Chpt 17)** - Jack is a bit too busy for romping in the jungle with Kate right now...much to my displeasure. Lol. And like I said in a previous review, camp was amazing. =]]]  
**P** - Glad you're back and still enoying my fic! =]  
**Jacklostkate** - Such a long review! It made my heart spin with happiness. I'm thrilled you're enjoying it and that I at least seem to be staying in character. I always have a problem with getting too out of character and it's probably bound to happen sooner or later in this fic. So far, so good though, it seems! I'm glad you're enjoying my imagination. This fanfiction is really challenging it to a point where it's content and very eager to write more. Thank you so much for such a long and encouraging review.  
**Jellybelly89** - I am glad you're enjoying my writing. =]

Oh man, Guys...I am so so so sorry for such the long wait! It's not even that I had writers block or no will to continue. A lot happened. To sum it up, I went to camp, my dad lost his job, I returned to my home town for two weeks and everyone and their brother wanted to make plans to spend some time with me, ect ect. I'm back now though and eager to continue. I must warn you, I start college on the 28th. It will take me awhile to get used to and possibly awhile to update after I'm there. This is my first year of college and I wanted to get focused on school before I put attention into hobbies, you know? As important LOST and this fanfic are to me, I'm not sure those paying for me to attend school would be very happy if they resulted in my failing.  
Oh! And please thank my dear friend Kevin for helping me out with this chapter! I was struggling with a certain scene and greatly appreciate his input. You would have had to wait another day without him. Haha.  
I'm not sure how good this chapter is. I really wanted to get an update up asap...so I kinda rushed. -shaaame-

* * *

It was dark and everyone was flocking to the caves. News that Claire had returned spread like a wildfire through the caves and beach and now nearly everyone had to go see for themselves. Fortunately for me, it meant my absence would go unnoticed. Sometimes I swore Jack used those who also stayed at the beach to keep tabs on me, but everyone had a totally different focus tonight.

I strayed off the path toward the caves and made my way toward the hatch. The jungle at night made me slightly nervous, but I felt a certain protection from Jacob. I shifted the weight of my backpack from one shoulder to the other and glanced around at the looming shadows. The moon cast a dim glow through the trees that was just bright enough to light my way, but I could have found my way to the hatch with my eyes closed.

I just sort of wandered around as I neared my destination. Jacob had said near the hatch. He hadn't really given me a direct location, had he? I tugged at my tank top then rubbed my shivering hands up and down my arms. The island always got cool at night, but I had been too distracted to remember a jacket. A rustling noise came from the distance and I spun in a circle. My throat felt dry, but I croaked out, "Who's there?"

A figure stepped into the slight clearing, though hovered back near the trees and bushes. I could just make out a gun in one hand and a walkie-talkie in the other. "Don't shoot," I pleaded, holding my hands up slightly as I took a few steps forward. I squinted my eyes as the person stepped near me then gasped as the light from the sky revealed the person I was supposed to be meeting to be Juliet. She looked startled and I honestly didn't blame her. "Hey…" I scolded myself for sounding so stupid.

"Who are you?" She kept the gun raised and held her thumb dangerously close to one of the buttons on the walkie-talkie. "You're one of the ones from the plane, aren't you?"

I nodded mutely and fumbled for words. If Jacob weren't already dead, I would have killed him. I was at a loss. "I was supposed to…"

"Where's Claire?" She interrupted me.

It hit me that they were probably all out looking for her incase she hadn't made it back to our group. "She's with us. Juliet, you need to…"

"How do you know my name?"

"Jacob sent me." I hoped that was the right answer to everything. Panic rose in my chest as she pressed her thumb against the button of the walkie-talkie and raised it to her mouth. I was about to stop her, but the walkie-talkie began beeping loudly then emitted a few short segments of static. She swore as she shut it off. "I know you were trying to reach Ben or Richard, but that's not the best thing to do right now," I said quickly then continued speaking before she could get a word in. The look on her face was a mixture of confusion and a bit of fear she may have been trying to hide. "My name is Kate Austen and I'm a survivor of Oceanic 815. There's too much to explain, but we've met before. Your name is Juliet Burke and you work for Benjamin Linus. You had Ethan kidnap Claire because babies can't be born on the island. They can if conceived off the island though, I can tell you that. Jacob sent me to talk to you. I know what you want more than anything is to get off this island and if you trust me, I can help you."

Juliet slowly lowered her gun, but didn't put it away. "Why should I trust you?"

She didn't look as surprised as I expected her to be, but after living on this island there wasn't much that was truly shocking anymore. "Because…" Once again, words failed me. "Because I've been to the future and our people are going to be getting really close really soon - and not necessarily in a good way. If you don't believe me, I can tell you all about The Incident, because that's how I got back here in the past."

"I don't know how you know all of this, but if you're telling the truth, why don't I recognize you?" She crossed her arms and glanced around. Her voice had lowered.

I swallowed and looked away from her. "Just a side-effect from time travel, I guess." I didn't even want to think about her dying, let alone tell her she had died. This was almost too easy though and it felt slightly unreal. I had a feeling Jacob had something to do with that. I closed my eyes and rubbed my face for a moment. When I looked back up, she was staring at me. "I know this is probably a lot to take in…"

"I need to take you to Ben and…"

"No." I shook my head. Ben was the last person I wanted to see anytime soon. He was who got us all into this mess. If it wasn't for him…I didn't even want to think about how happy I could have been. "We can't talk to Ben. Richard, maybe, but not Ben. Is everyone out looking for Claire?"

"Just I am," Juliet answered. She was eyeing me in a way that let me know she still didn't trust me. "The others have gone home. They'll be back though."

Her last sentence almost sounded like a threat, but I brushed it off. "So they're all gone. Good. That's good." I wondered how she had convinced them to let her look for Claire alone, but I didn't press the matter. "I need to go to where you were taking care of Claire and the baby. I'm pregnant." She opened her mouth (presumably to speak), but I continued on. "I conceived off the island, but with the time travel and all…" I ran a hand through my hair and glanced up at the sky. "I was hoping…"

"That I could take a look at the baby," she finished. "We'd better get moving if you don't want to be caught."

I couldn't help but think she was going to turn me over to the Others, but I continuously pushed the thought from my mind. "So, you believe me?" I questioned cautiously as I followed her.

"I'd believe just about anything these days," Juliet deadpanned. "I don't trust you, but I believe you."

As contradicting as that sounded, I understood the feeling. I could work with that.

----------

As I sat on the hospital bed, I pondered whether or not Jacob was somehow making this easier for me. I had tried to explain more on the walk there and Juliet seemed to accept what I had to say. I reminded her multiple times, I could eventually get her off the island. I just hoped fate was working for me and not against me on that.

"It's going to be cold." Juliet finished hooking up the monitors and grabbed the bottle of jelly to place on my exposed stomach.

"I know." They always said that on movies. The doctor would rub the jelly on the woman's stomach and she would shiver and grin then tighten her hand around her husband's or boyfriend's. I shivered and frowned then tightened my grip on the sheet under me. I glanced around the room, avoiding looking at the monitor or Juliet.

"How far along are you?" she questioned.

I figured as a doctor, she should know that. "Present or future-wise?" I questioned to humor her. I glanced at her smile then tried to think. "About a week, maybe. I don't know. Everything is a blur right now. Is the baby okay?" I glanced over at her, trying to study her expression as she stared at the monitor.

"A week," she repeated, shaking her head slowly. "That's impossible. The baby looks to be at least eight weeks along. Are you sure?"

I rubbed my forehead. "Eight weeks is impossible past, present, or future," I answered. I tried to take everything into account, but my mind was still barely able to wrap around the simple fact that I was indeed pregnant. "Does everything look okay though?"

"Well, I don't want to worry you right now," she answered. That was enough to worry me. "With everything you've explained to me about traveling through time, God knows how that could effect something like this. I'm telling you, it looks like he's eight weeks along. I'm not really getting a heartbeat though."

My throat felt dry and my chest tightened. "Does that mean…?"

"It doesn't mean anything right now, Kate." After another moment of staring at the monitor, she turned it off then wiped the jelly from my stomach with a towel. "It looked like it was starting to move around which is a sign your baby is alive." She smiled at me, but I could tell it wasn't a sincere smile. "We just need to keep checking up on things, alright?"

I nodded and sat up more then got to my feet. "Right." The thought that I may lose another baby made me feel sick to my stomach. I couldn't even handle losing Aaron. I wanted to go to the caves for the night, but not only did Jack not want be there - he was also busy with Claire. "I should be going back, but I think we should meet again."

She nodded in agreement. "I think that we may have some old one-way walkie-talkies back at the barracks. I can look and we can meet back here a week from today. I recall hearing you have a doctor back at your camp, am I right?"

"Yeah. Jack." I fought back a wave of jealousy that tugged at my heart. I had to remind myself that she didn't even know who Jack was yet. "I'll be fine with him until we can find a way to keep in touch."

"Good. I should probably get back and let them know I couldn't find Claire."

I nodded my head. I thought about warning her to keep her people away from my people for everyone's safety, but it slipped my mind a second later as I began thinking about the baby again. "It was nice seeing you again, Juliet." I couldn't say I was being completely honest by saying that.

"It was nice…seeing you again - meeting you." Juliet smiled.

I smiled back then wrapped my arms around myself and walked from the Dharma Station.

----------

I couldn't get my mind off the baby. I sat on the ground near the tree line by the beach, hunched forward with my knees pulled to my chest and my hands folded against the front of my chin. It was impossible. There was no way the baby could be that far along. I leaned forward even more and pressed my hands to my eyes. I decided I could definitely not lose this baby now that Aaron was gone.

I was lost in my thoughts and almost drifting to sleep with I felt someone tapping on my shoulder. I lifted my head and turned to see who was behind me. Sand scraped the skin on my arms as I fell to the side and tried to scramble away without getting to my feet. A cry caught in my throat along with my breath.

"Why are you scared, Mommy?" Aaron's blond locks ruffled in the cool breeze being swept off the ocean and somehow complimented the playful smile on his lips. His blue eyes sparkled in the moonlight yet were horrifyingly cold and emotionless. He stepped repeatedly from one foot to the other almost as if he were dancing and his hands tugged at the bottom of his Clifford t-shirt.

I couldn't speak. Tears were already blurring my vision and I was struggling to make my lungs work. I climbed to my hands and knees and crawled toward my son then sat up. Sand smeared across his smooth cheeks as I placed my hands on his faces. I could feel him. I choked on a sob and pulled his small body against my chest. Burying my face in his hair, I inhaled his scent then broke down crying. I clung to my little boy and for the first time in awhile, I felt like I was home. "Aaron. Aaron. Aaron. Aaron." I repeated his name and entangled my fingers against the fabric on the back of his shirt.

"Mommy, why are you sad to see me?"

I pulled back and placed my hands on his face again. "I'm not sad to see you," I quickly corrected him. "I'm just so happy to see you, Baby. I love you so much. How did you get here?" Sometime about the lack of expression in his eyes put fear in my heart, but I was overwhelmed with the emotion of him just being there.

"God loves you as he loved Jacob." His deep blue eyes turned a light shade of grey. His fingers tickled my arms as he slid his hands lightly down them and stopped at my wrists. "I have a riddle, Mommy."

"You have a riddle, Sweet Pea?" I stared into his eyes, caught in a mixture of confusion, fear, and intense relief. I sniffled and forced a smile. "What is it?" I rubbed my hands up his arms and let them rest on his shoulders.

A grin I recognized so well as his mischievous smile tugged at his lips, "Tell me," he said. "Where is evil bred; in the heart or in the head? God loves you as he loved Jacob!" A fit of giggles erupted from him as he pulled away and bounded skipping into the jungle. "God loves you as he loved Jacob! God loves you as he loved Jacob! God loves you as he loved Jacob!"

"Aaron!" I called after him. I scrambled to my feet and ran in the direction he was going, stumbling repeatedly as tears distorted my vision and prevented me from accurately seeing where I was going. "Aaron, stop! Aaron!" I panicked as I lost sight of him then suddenly ran into a wall - only it wasn't a wall.

I tried to pull away as hands firmly grabbed my shoulders but I found myself unable to break loose. "What are you doing?!" I cried, not looking up to see who was holding me back. "I have to catch my son!"

"Stop chasing him, Eve. He isn't real."

I stilled and looked up, coming face to face with Jacob. Anger swelled in my heart. "What the hell are you talking about?!" I hit his chest with my fist then took in a few breathes as if the world was running out of oxygen before hitting him again. "What is this?! Your new way of luring me to meet you somewhere?! I thought I could trust you…" I laughed and I knew it sounded a bit maniacal, but then again, I had just seen Aaron.

"I didn't do that, Eve. I wouldn't trick you into meeting me." He moved his hands from my shoulders to my cheeks and looked me in the eye. "You can trust me, Eve," he whispered. "You are so lost right now. I want to show you light. I want to draw you away from the darkness and show you my love for you and your friends. My daughter, let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart."

I yanked away and pointed a finger at him. "Whatever game you're playing, how about you go back and play with Ben some more!" I all but shouted at him. "I don't know who you are, but I want nothing to do with you and your love. I don't want anything to do with you and whatever you're trying to pull on this island and neither do my friends. And my name is Kate!" I stared at him for several moments. There was silence and then at first I thought he had started laughing. Then to my horror, I realized he was sobbing. I had made him cry.

Soft sobs lingered in the air. They tore at my heart until there was a very real pain in my chest. Then he was gone. I was so overwhelmed by a feeling over loneliness, I sunk to my knees. Burying my face in my hands, I leaned forward and also cried.

----------

"You look hungry."

"You look tired." Jack caught the fruit I tossed him. He placed it beside him then went back to sharpening a knife. "What's been happening at the beach?"

I hadn't gotten any sleep the night before so there was no doubt there were dark circles under my eyes. "Locke's been telling everyone what's happened with Claire…and with Ethan. I think it's time you used those guns, Jack."

"Uh-uh. No," he replied. "I hand them out, someone hears something out in the jungle and gets scared, the chances of us shooting each other are much higher than of us shooting him."

"We're beyond sharpening knives here, Jack." I rubbed at my eyes then placed my hands in my pockets.

"I am not putting guns into untrained hands." He glanced at me then looked the knife over.

"Not everyone here is untrained."

------------

I returned from the caves to find the beach in an uproar. They were all near the water, hovering over the body of Steve -or was it Scott? I balanced myself against a tree and watched in silence from a distance. "What kind of love is that, Jacob?" I whispered. I knew that Ethan had killed the man they were all surrounding. I also knew that in the very near future, fate would turn around and kill Ethan. "Is that how you love us? By letting everything end in death?"

My stomach was turning and my mouth tasted bitter. "I should probably feed us, huh?" I cooed and placed a hand on my stomach. I knew right away I was feeling sick from lack of food. I took one last glance as the dead body down the beach and my fellow surviving friends and acquaintances then walked to my shelter.

-----------

"So you heard of the plan to get the son of a bitch who took Claire?" Sawyer caught up to me as I strolled across the beach.

I glanced over at him. "I have." Well, it wasn't a lie. No one had told me recently, but I had already been involved in the past. "But I don't think Jack plans on inviting me to your game of mousetrap."

"He don't," Sawyer answered. "But who the hell left him in charge?" He pulled a shot gun from his pants and offered it to me. "You in?"

I couldn't help but grin. "You bet." I took the gun and looked it over before shoving it in my jeans. "When are we leaving?"

"You're not coming, Kate." Jack approached us from the side, shaking his head. "We already have enough people."

"Well now, Doc, nice of ya to join us," Sawyer stated, grinning from ear to ear at Jack. "Last I heard, you were co-leading this little attack with Sayid and Locke. Wonder what they'd have to say about having some extra backup."

"I'm going with you, Jack." If anything, I wasn't even going to go after Ethan. I was going because I missed spending time with Jack. "If you want to stop me, you're going to have to take the gun from me." I motioned to the visible part of my gun then held my arms out so he could freely grab it.

Thunder cracked in the distance and Jack glanced up at the sky. He looked at Sawyer and I again. "We're leaving now."

I dropped my hands back to my side and glanced at Sawyer out of the corner of my eye. "Well, let's go then."

It had started raining by the time we all got situated in the jungle. We hid behind trees, peering into the clearing where Claire stood. She looked terrified and I didn't blame her. I wanted to rush out there and ensure her I knew she would be fine, but I couldn't do that. I gripped my gun tight in my hands and glanced to both sides. Sawyer was hidden on one side of me and Sayid was hidden somewhere on the other side. Jack and Locke were both spread out behind trees across from me.

Everything happened in the blink of an eye. I was caught between past and present as Ethan appeared in the clearing and went after Claire. Before I knew it, Jack was tackling him. Sawyer was cheering Jack on and Sayid was commanding everyone to hold their fire.

"Knockout," Sawyer said as Jack slugged Ethan across the head. "Nice one, Doc. Now, maybe somebody can tell me just who or what this son of a bitch is."

Ethan slowly opened his eyes from his spot on the ground. As he began to get up, I stepped out from behind the tree and raised my gun at him just as everyone else did.

"Uh, uh, uh, Jungle Boy." Sawyer shook his head and placed his finger on the trigger of his gun. "Not even for one second."

Rage suddenly filled me as I stared at Ethan. It started as a tingling in my chest then worked its way down my arms. I licked my lips then took two steps forward and sent six bullets into the man's chest. Everyone watched as he collapsed dead then turned to stare at me in shock. I faced Jack. "He deserved to die. He would have never told us anything."


	19. Outlaws

**Leytonrox94** - I'm delighted you're enjoying how I write Jacob. Hopefully you'll enjoy his enemy just as much. =] There will be Jate in the future. Dunno how soon though.  
**Famous4it** - I'm happy to hear you like Jacob. I'm enjoying his presence in my fic. =]  
**P** - Haha. Kate not do stupid things? Impossible. xDDD  
**Northern Wolf** - Camp pwned. I have friends who have forever changed my life. -loves them to pieces-  
**Ilayda **- I felt sorry for him as I wrote it. Haha.  
**Boo2ubam** - I don't think Kate will be hugging him or apologizing anytime soon. I wish though. =]  
**Temporarilymisplaced** - Well...I thought about letting him live, but Kate decided against it.  
**Lostcandy** - There will definitely be more Juliet in the future.  
**Jellybelly89** - Thanks for reviewing!  
**Jess** - Yes, her whole pregnancy is a little worrisome.  
**Jacklostkate** - I was wondering what would have happened if Ethan lived...but Kate told me it wasn't worth finding out.

Sorry it took so long to update, Guys. I just started college and all. I have quite a bit of free time for now. My schedule is very lovely and all my classes are good except Physics. But I don't know how often I'll be updating. Y'all don't want to hear my sob story - but I've been a bit depressed due to lack of friends. I don't really fit in here...my personality just isn't what people seem to want in a friend. So I have time and I sit down to type...but I realize everyone else is off having fun and I get a few paragraphs in...then no longer feel like typing anymore. Because of my misery, I may end up typing some darker things than I expected to be typing. It started to show a bit in this chapter.  
Reviews cheer me up though. =]

* * *

It was almost like we were playing a game. I avoided Jack and everyone else on the island avoided me. It had been like that since I shot Ethan. I didn't expect them to understand why I had done it though and I made no attempts to explain.

The silver gun case lay hidden underneath some plants in the jungle. I knew where it was even without Jack showing me. It was locked and I was forced to put the gun I had used beside it instead of slipping it in with the others. Now, I just had to hope no one would find it and steal it.

"You could have just handed it to me instead of sneaking around."

I spun around to find Jack standing behind me. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough." He walked past me and knelt by the case, unlocking it and placing the gun inside before locking it back up again. "How long are you going to keep playing this game, Kate?"

I took a few steps back. "I'm not playing some game, Jack," I answered, my tone bitter.

He got to his feet and turned to face me. "You killed Ethan - shot him six times in the chest. Now you're going out of your way so you don't have to tell me why you did it."

"No offense, but I don't remember there being a rule that I have to answer to you every time I do something." We stared at each other for a moment before we both glanced away at the same time. "Did you get all the guns back?"

"All except one." He began walking toward the path that led from the beach to the cave.

"Sawyer's," I stated, nodding. I followed him. I didn't even need to know that from before to be able to guess Sawyer hadn't given the gun back. I rubbed my hands together for a moment as I considered not going to get it back this time. I wanted Jack's forgiveness though. "I can get it back."

"Really?" He glanced over at me and raised his eyebrows. "How are you going to do that?"

"Speak his language," I answered with a shrug.

"Let him keep the gun." Jack shook his head. "It's not worth it."

I smiled and glanced at the ground before looking up again as we walked. "What? Are you worried he's going to shoot me if I ask?"

"I just don't want you to owe him anything." He glanced at me.

I stared him in the eye for a moment before looking away again. My throat felt tight and my chest heavy. "I can take care of myself." I headed toward the beach as he headed toward the caves.

----------

Seeing Sawyer's things scattered across the ground was something I didn't mind repeating itself. No matter how many times it happened, it would always be hilarious that a boar had destroyed his property. I strolled over to his shelter and crossed my arms, not bothering to fight the smirk that was tugging at my lips. "What happened?"

"A boar." He huffed and continued attempting to pick up his stuff.

"A boar?" I replied, fighting back a laugh. "Did all this?"

"Last night - wrecked my tent. This morning when I went to get my tent back, it attacks me from behind and runs off into the jungle like a coward." He shoved a few items into a bag and shook his head.

"A boar wouldn't just attack you for no reason," I commented.

"Thank you, Boar-expert!" He shot me a glare. "This one did. It's harassing me." He grabbed his gun.

"Sawyer." I sighed in exasperation. I had better things to do than repeat our whole hike to track down his enemy.

"I'm getting even," He said.

"Would you listen to yourself?" I asked and rolled my eyes. "It's a boar. Just go tell Locke and he'll kill it."

"Nope." He got to his feet. "This is my fight."

"You don't even know anything about hunting boar," I reminded him. "You're going to get yourself lost or worse."

He glanced at me. "Since when do you care?"

I laughed and shook my head. "I don't." It was a lie.

"Good," He answered. "Then if you'll excuse me, I've got some revenge to tend to." He turned away and began walking at a determined pace down the beach.

I jogged to catch up to him. "If you want to actually catch the thing, you're going to need some help. I'll go with you."

"Sounds like another excuse to avoid Jack-O. Let's get movin'."

I stopped walking and shook my head. "Give me an hour," I replied. "I have to do something."

He sighed. "Well speed it up, will ya?"

-----------

"Are you sure you want to help me with this?" I held up my half of Ethan's body and glanced at Hurley as we approached the clearing. "I appreciate the help, but you don't have to. I killed Ethan. I can bury him."

"Yeah, till he rises from the dead." Hurley helped me lower Ethan to the ground beside where we going to bury him. "Dude, I know how this works. This is going to end with you and me running through the jungle, screaming, crying. He catches me first because I'm heavy…and I get cramps."

I dug my shovel into the ground then paused to stare at him. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words fit the moment. I turned my attention back to digging a hole in the ground.

"You alright?" He asked.

"Just peachy." I dug into the dirt once more.

------------

I walked back to the beach to find that Sawyer had already started his trek into the jungle. I wasn't surprised. It only took me a moment to grab my backpack then follow in the direction I knew he'd be heading. As I walked, I glanced around for Jacob. This seemed like one of those times he'd appear and keep my company for a few moments. He never showed up. Despite that I got what I wanted by him letting me alone, something in me felt empty. Who was I kidding though; I always felt empty.

"It's a footprint," I stated as I approached Sawyer from behind. He was staring curiously at the ground like he'd come across something miraculous. "Judging on the weight and the distance between strides, I'd say you've been following Boone for about an hour."

He spun around. "Look…"

"It could be Jin, I suppose…" I grinned at him.

"I'm tickled you're taking such an interest in my affairs. Really, I am." He shook his head and glanced up at the sky before looking at me again. "So don't take it personal when I tell you…"

"I want carte blanche." Here we went again. He began walking and I followed him.

"What?" he asked.

"It's simple," I stated. "You can't track that boar without my help. You've probably managed to follow the tracks of humans, birds, a rockslide, yourself, and basically everything except boar. You have no idea what you're doing."

"Carte blanche," he repeated me.

"It means blank check." I took a few steps so I was walking slightly in front of him.

"I know what it means," He snapped and quickened his pace so he was the one in front.

"Anything I want from your stash…" I walked so I was in front of him again and turned to face him. "Medicine, soap, whatever - I get it. No questions asked. Take it or leave it."

He stopped walking and stared at me for a moment then threw his hands in the air. "Alright. You got a deal."

----------

Our walk had been surprisingly silent. The first time we made this trip, we had chatted. This time, we just walked until it was too dark to see and we were forced to make camp. My heart skipped a few beats as Sawyer pulled out a small bottle from his bag and took a seat a few feet away from me.

"I take it you found the liquor cart," I commented and leaned back against my backpack. "Jack was looking for that."

"It's a good thing I found it instead, then, huh?" He replied. He settled bag against his things and took a small sip from the bottle.

"Got anymore of those?" I questioned hesitantly.

He smirked and pulled another from his bag. "Sure do. Too bad it wouldn't be good for the baby."

I froze up and narrowed my eyes at him then glanced away. "Is that a no?"

"Your choice how ya deal with the kid, Sassafras," Sawyer replied. "But if ya wanna drink; you've got to play."

"Oh yeah?" I questioned. "Play what?" I felt like a giddy high school student and mentally scolded myself as I waited for the answer.

"I Never." He passed the small bottle over to me, eyeing it for a moment as I opened it. "Ya know how to play, don't ya?"

I grinned and slid my finger in a circle around the small rim of the bottle. "Yes." I paused. "I've never been suspended from school."

Sawyer rolled his eyes and took a drink. "I've never had braces."

"They sucked." I took a drink then glanced up at the sky as I paused to think. I had to do one of the ones I did the first time. "I never wore pink." I laughed as he took a drink then laughed harder as he blamed it on the 80s.

"Yeah yeah," he muttered and shook his head. "I never had a favorite band."

"You're a liar," I muttered. I took a drink. "I never paid anyone for sex."

Sawyer narrowed his eyes and took a drink. He choked a few times, causing me to grin. "I've never been scared of the dark."

I smiled and shook my bottle slightly. It wasn't the dark I got scared of; it was things that lurked in the dark. "I never had a crush on a friend's parent."

Sawyer took a drink. "I was fifteen," he tried to explain. He leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. "I never kiss anyone on an island."

I glanced at him and furrowed my brow. Something in my heart ached and I felt offended. I too leaned forward, swirling the last of my liquor around in the bottle. "Really?" I questioned. He looked confused, but before he could say anything, I leaned forward and pecked his lips. "You lie." I tried to push all thoughts of Jack from my mind and smirked at Sawyer.

"Well, now…" Sawyer looked shocked. He licked his lips.

Jack was probably sitting back at the caves organizing his bottles of medicine. He might have been gathering water to make a run to the beach in the morning. I wondered if he noticed I was missing. I had told Hurley where I was going; I wondered if Hurley let Jack know. Was he worried about me? Was he even thinking about me? I took advantage of Sawyer's shock and pressed my lips to his again and let the kiss linger this time.

I didn't feel anything. There were no electric shocks shooting up my spine. My nerves didn't tingle and make me all lightheaded. Instead, I was overcome by a numbness that started in my heart and slowly worked its way throughout the rest of my body. I welcomed it and deepened the kiss; it wasn't like Sawyer seemed to mind. I could deal with his questions on where this suddenly came from later.

He placed his hand on the back of my neck then entangled his fingers in my hair as he tilted my neck back. His lips made their way to my chin then down my neck. I embraced the lack of sensation and let my eyes flutter shut.

----------

I woke up to the sun shining in my eyes. Sawyer was shifting underneath me and I quickly opened my eyes. Backing away from him, I looked at him then glanced around. My clothes were still on, I realized as I placed my hands on my stomach. Earth was spinning and my head started to ache. I clambered to my feet, dazed and confused. A few feet away from where I had been sleeping, I found a tree for support and clung to it as I leaned forward and retched. I felt hung over, but I had only had a small bottle of alcohol. Or had I? As I tried to think back to the night before, every detail was fuzzy. I squeezed my eyes shut as I vomited a second time and slowly tried to ease myself to my knees.

"Jesus, Freckles." Sawyer gripped me from behind and helped me to the ground. He ended up with me half in his lap; one of his hands was holding back my hair as the other tried to keep me steady so I didn't end up puking all over him or myself. He was tense and I could feel him freeze up every few moments before slowly trying to move into another position. "Hey. Freckles. Kate, you need to breathe."

His voice was serious and I hadn't even realized I was trying to hold my breath until he said something. My chest burned and it felt like my stomach was being ripped out as I dry-heaved after throwing up for a third time. Coughing, I brought the back of my hand to my mouth.

"_Is this how you want to play, Eve?"_

It wasn't Jacob's voice, but it felt like it was him speaking. My heart started aching in self-pity and I found myself hating him. He couldn't do this; couldn't make me feel like this. It was inequitable. I slid my arms around my stomach and took a few deep breaths through my nose. _"Go away," _I thought.

"_You want to play, Eve? I can play your games. You want to play?"_

I slowly opened my eyes and managed to lift my head. I expected to see Jacob standing a few feet in front of me with either a look of concern or anger on his face. Instead I saw a different man. He was dressed in back and his curious smile drew me in. _"I can play your damn games too."_ Sawyer was helping me back to my feet and I was forced to rest back against his chest until I regained enough strength to stand on my own. "Sorry," I muttered sheepishly. I stole a glance at him the looked back to where the other man had been standing. He was no longer there and I assumed Sawyer hadn't seen him.

"Son of a bitch. I can't believe this!" Sawyer took his hands off me and took a few steps forward.

I looked up at him then glanced around our camp. His stuff was once again scattered all over. I smirked through my weakness and walked over to my backpack. "There are hoof marks everywhere," I stated as I looked at the ground.

"It ate all our stuff!" He exclaimed.

"Nope." I shook my head. "It ate your stuff. Mine is fine."

"Oh, that hog is gonna suffer," Sawyer muttered. "I swear to God…"

The bushes rustled and I watched as Sawyer grabbed his gun. My gaze turned to Locke as he walked toward us.

"Mornin'," John stated. He paused to look around then glanced at me then at Sawyer. "What happened to your campsite?"

I rubbed at my eyes before noticing Locke and Sawyer were both staring at me. I felt as if I looked completely awful. Clearing my throat, I rubbed my hands together. "So, are you looking for salvage from the crash out here, John?"

He nodded his head. "Found an occasional scrap of metal and a few bags of coffee. Picked up your trail about a mile back and thought I'd say howdy."

Sawyer threw his shirt to the ground a few feet away from me. "Awww, son of a…oh, peed on my shirt! Took my shirt out of the bag and peed on it! And you think this isn't personal."

"He thinks the boar we're after has a vendetta against him," I explained to Locke with a slight simper.

"Uh-huh." Locke nodded slowly and glanced over at Sawyer.

"That's three times it's attacked me!" Sawyer defended himself. He huffed and began picking up his things.

"Maybe it's got your scent," I teased. "Doesn't like your cologne." I took a seat and pulled one of my legs to my chest.

"I don't wear cologne," He growled.

"Yes, you do." I smiled and placed my arms on my knee then rested my chin against them.

He glanced at me and sighed. "Yeah well…the thing's got it in for me."

I rolled my eyes. "It's a boar, Sawyer."

"Anyone want coffee?" Locke intervened.

I looked at him then at the ground. It was probably bad enough I had had alcohol and that I just finished heaving my guts up. The thought of coffee made my mouth water though. I glanced up again to see the same man in the distance.

"_Do you want to play, Eve?"_

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment then looked at Locke. "Coffee sounds great." I ignored the look I got from Sawyer and stared at the ground again.

----------

"I take comfort knowing that someday this is all going to be a real nice shopping complex; maybe even an auto mall. Where you going?"

I ignored Sawyer's comments as I was over to an all-too-familiar ditch full of mud. Stomach full of coffee and fruit, I felt more awake and had convinced Sawyer I was fine to keep going. "Know what this is?" I questioned even though I knew he didn't.

"A hole in the mud," he stated the obvious.

I sighed. "It's a wallow."

"What the hell's a wallow?" he asked as he stared down at it.

"A boar's wallow?" I smiled. "It's a den where he sleeps. And these tree rubbings are from his tusks."

"You mean he's around here?" Sawyer stood up straighter and glanced to his left then to his right.

"Maybe." No sooner had I gotten out the word, there was some noise off to the side of us. I watched as Sawyer jogged forward and retrieved the baby boar. My heart went out to it again as it struggled against his hold and started to squeal. "I thought it'd be bigger," I deadpanned as he held it up.

"Funny." He shot me a look. "Now we know Daddy's gotta be around here. Here, Piggy, Piggy, Piggy!"

"Sawyer, put it down," I demanded. "You're not very funny."

"Here, Piggy, Piggy, Piggy!" He continued to yell.

"_Do you want to play, Eve?"_

"Put it down!" I ordered again. "What is the matter with you, Sawyer? You're going to hurt it."

"_Do you want to play, Eve?"_

"Hurt it?" Sawyer asked. "It's a boar. It's gonna grow bigger and go after us and our stuff and cause trouble." He raised his gun and put a bullet in the baby boar's head.

I jumped and took several steps back. "You're sick," I whispered before stepping forward again and kicking him as hard as I could in the shin. "Find your own way home," I spat as I walked off. I balled my hands into fists and stared coldly at the spot ahead of me.


End file.
